Love and Denial
by Dil9
Summary: Bella doesn't accept Edward back after their return from Volterra. Edward has a hard time winning her forgiveness while dealing with his new found uncontrollable human side which lands him in some embarrassing situations. Prequel to Romance & Love   Twilight
1. Chapter 1 Reunion

_Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended._

**Bella's Point of view (BPOV)**

What was happening to me? This is the moment I've dreamed about that I thought would never come. I was in his arms again. In his arms where I thought I belonged. But I feel nothing; just nothing. I should feel happy shouldn't I? Or sad since he might leave again? But I just don't feel anything. I could feel his lips pressing against my hair; his cold hands touching me again as if I'm the most fragile thing in the world, precious to him. Was I precious to him? He left…. He said he didn't love me anymore.

May be he wants me back. May be he doesn't. But I just don't care anymore. I should care shouldn't I? Oh! It's just too confusing. May be I should try to sleep. But my eyes don't want to sleep. I stare at his beautiful face. Yes, he was still beautiful. He had dark circles under his eyes. He must have not fed for some time. His smoldering gaze was devouring me. Was he thirsty? His cold lips once again touched my forehead; once that touch would have set my world on fire. Shouldn't my heart rate increase? I was amazed that I only felt the coldness not the familiar current running through me. His hand cupped my face, his forefinger grazing my lower lip. His gaze fiery… he desired me.. I could see it in his eyes… more likely my blood but not my soul. I was nothing to him. Just a distraction… but surprisingly it didn't hurt me anymore. We were on our way to Forks after our long flight from Italy. I finally felt myself relaxing and my eyelids grew heavier.

**Edward's Point of view (EPOV)**

She was alive.. her heart beating in a steady rhythm. I listened to the sound that brought life back into my dead soul. Yes. I had a soul. If Bella believed it so will I. I could never be apart from her again... What a fool I was to have thought otherwise. I had decided to come back to Bella when I received that fateful call from Rosalie. I could still feel the piercing agony of those words that put an end to all meaning of life for me.

"Edward, you have to come home. Bella is dead. Alice saw a vision of her jumping off a cliff. It's time you put an end to this foolishness over a human girl. She's gone now. We all miss you. Just come home."

It had taken me some time to actually comprehend what was said I was unable to believe that my love was gone. When it finally hit me I had called Bella's house in desperation thinking there had to be some mistake. Then someone told me that Charlie was at the funeral. Everything that happened after that was just a blur of activity to me. My only mission had been to end this unworthy existence. I had thought I had driven Bella to suicide over me. It was something I never thought could happen when I left. The guilt and regret had overwhelmed me. I will forever be grateful to Alice and Bella for saving me giving me a second chance at life.

I looked at the sweet little angel in my arms..she had finally fallen asleep...so brave.. a little human girl amidst a group of blood thirsty vampires. My heart swelled with pride. She must love me a lot to have come to my rescue like that.

I couldn't help placing a kiss on top of her head again. She felt so wonderful; so soft and warm. I felt that my love for her has grown much stronger while I was away. The only thing I didn't feel was blood lust. I craved something else much more than her blood now. I was feeling guilty admitting it even to myself. But the feelings of desire that I had kept under control for so long even when I was first with Bella were threatening to break loose.

Yes. I can finally give Bella everything she ever wanted. I still had doubts about changing her. But as for everything else….. I felt myself hardening. This was humiliating. I was acting like a human teenager. I hoped Alice wouldn't notice. I gave her a side ways glance. She was staring at me in surprise. Then slowly a huge mischievous grin spread across her face. She knew! I adjusted Bella in my lap so that she was covering my embarrassment for now. I feverishly hoped she didn't wake up! That could become…..ahem .. very awkward.

The little pixie gave me a nudge to get my attention. _"Oh come on Edward it's a natural reaction. You don't have to feel embarrassed about it."_ Oh! god, she was talking to me about it now. I was mortified.

"Please Alice let's not talk about it."

She nodded and smiled. This was not the time for this type of thoughts. I have to get my Bella safely home and make sure she was comfortable in her sleep.

I focused on Alice hoping to make sure she was not thinking about my … mishap anymore. Her thoughts were on her reunion with Jasper. Urgh….wrong thoughts to be reading right now when I had these crazy urges about my Bella. I looked down at my precious angel and I noticed that I was holding her much too closely. I felt ashamed and loosened my hold on her to try and put some distance between us. She got disturbed by my movement and turned in her sleep and pressed her soft breasts against my chest.

Oh! god no. I didn't dare move again. I would be in deeper trouble if she woke up now and found something else nudging her. Oh! How I wanted to touch her softness. Really touch them. I've felt them so many times in the past whenever we hugged but I have never really purposefully put my hands on them.

I don't know whether Bella was ever aware of how much control I had around her those days. I never once let her feel my need for her. I did kiss her passionately a few times but never let the all consuming raging desire I felt for her take control of me. It was always the blood lust above everything else which I focused on. Now that there was no blood lust I had plenty of space for the desire.

I looked at Alice again. I wanted to ask her about the future. I felt a bit ashamed of my thoughts and scared that she would see intimate details between Bella and me, but I had to know what was in store for us.

I asked her a silent question like I always do and Alice knew exactly what I wanted she started looking into Bella's future. I felt a jolt of fear pass through me. She couldn't see Bella that clearly. She saw glimpses of Bella studying and at school but other than that nothing. Where was I? I was not there. She couldn't see me in Bella's future. But I wasn't going to be apart from her now. I was going to be with her every second of her future. May be Alice can't see it because it hasn't started happening yet. I tried to console myself with this reasoning. But for the first time since leaving the Volturi I felt scared.

_**This is my first fan fiction so please review and let me know what you think. I would love to hear your comments. I had to write this chapter and the next few in a very serious note due to the serious nature of the topic but I promise you there is a lot of humour, romance and entertainment starting from the chapter 7. Please make sure you read them before you abandon me :) **_


	2. Chapter 2 Observations

**Edward's point of view  
**

Bella was fast asleep. I held her tightly to my chest. She was curled up in a fetal position and I was hugging her back to me. This was not the normal way I lay with her. She would have had her head on my chest and would some times even put her leg over mine in her sleep and cuddle me tighter.

She had changed a lot during my absence her body taking a more womanly shape. But she was thinner and paler looking than before. Her face looked very hollow like she had suffered from some kind of illness and was still recovering from it. The dark circles around her eyes were deep and prominent. Her hair had lost its shine. I should get her to eat better. But she always seemed so healthy even with her clumsiness. I remembered her suffering from flu once but even then she didn't look this frail. Even her lips looked thinner.

Oh! her lips how I longed to kiss her, really kiss her with all the passion I felt for her.I remembered all the erotic dreams she used to have with me near her. I remembered how she used rub against me. I could always smell her arousal. I used to wear baggy pants to disguise my prominent need when we kissed passionately. I could now love her and show her my desire for her making her mine in every sense of the word. I will first ask her to marry me.

She would look so lovely in a wedding gown, walking besides her father. That reminded me about how Charlie had greeted me and I winced. His thoughts were hostile and were on the verge of panic with thoughts of actually shooting me with his gun running through his mind several times. I couldn't understand what provoked such strong and confused feelings. I had only broken up with his daughter after all. I'm sure Bella would have been heart broken for sometime but she was a normal human girl. She would have recovered after some time.

I wasn't worried about Bella forgiving me. I knew she would take me back. In Volterra the moment she saw me she had run into my arms. I would propose to her the very first opportunity I got. I will have to make it special. I thought of my mothers ring waiting in my closet. I was so lost in my thoughts that at first I didn't realize that Bella was awake. Her very loud,

"What are you doing here?" had me jumping out of the bed.

From the shock on her face I realized that she had not expected me to be in her room with her. I smiled and told her that I would never leave her again. Her reaction to that was something that totally confused me. I couldn't understand it. She just kept staring at me. It was not the kind of loving and adoring stare that I was used to receiving from her. Her face was just blank. Not giving out any emotion. Her beautiful brown eyes which were the windows to her soul in which I relied on to understand her feelings when her mind was closed to me were no longer expressive. They too had lost their shine and their depth. I was so shocked that I felt myself freeze.

We must have been staring at each other for a long time because she didn't make one move during that time. No fidgeting, nothing just simply breathing in a steady rhythm. Normally her heart rate would accelerate when she was excited or even in the same room with me. But none of those reactions were there. I had to blink several times to even make sure that I was there with Bella.

"Bella are you alright?"

She answered me immediately "yes."

"You look like you are still in shock can I get you something to drink?"

"No thank you." She still answered in her monotone voice. No emotion at all.

"Then what would you like me to do?" I smiled and asked her.

Her next words shocked me into freezing yet again. She uttered them very clearly and very precisely. "Edward I would like you to leave."

It took me a moment to recover from my surprise. May be she wanted a human moment to herself.

"Ok. When should I come back?"

"I don't want you to come back."

This sent me into panic. Did she find someone else while I was away? But Alice had not said anything about anyone else. Except about that dog who had saved her from drowning. She would have told me if Bella had found someone else. She would have definitely not let me kiss and hold her on our way back from Volterra if she had someone waiting for her here. No it couldn't be. She must still want me. After all she said I dazzled her.

I tried my best dazzling smile on her. "Bella you don't know what you are saying. You are still confused."

"I know exactly what I am saying and what I want. I want you to leave Edward."

This was a living nightmare. I had to explain. My words came out in a jumble.

"Please Bella, listen to me. I lied when I told you I didn't love you anymore. I had to leave to keep you safe and I knew if I didn't tell you I didn't love you, you would have never let me go. I love you Bella… I never stopped loving you…I will never stop loving you…Please Bella you have to take me back. Please please forgive me. I only left so that you can have a normal happy human life….so that you can be protected from our kind."

"It broke my heart to leave you Bella. I thought of coming back so many times over the past couple of months. I had finally decided to come when I received that horrible phone call from Rosalie."

She still sat there simply staring at me. I didn't know what else to say to her.

I was on my knees beside the bed now. I would beg if I had to. I just couldn't imagine a world without her. I couldn't understand how she could completely believe the lie I told her. As a last resort I went over to the lose floor board in her room and brought out the CD and the photos we had taken with her camera.

"Bella I never left you in my heart you were always there. I couldn't even take these things away from you. I had to leave them with you."

I tried to hand them over to her but she refused to take them.

"I don't need them anymore. I don't listen to music." Her response was both terrifying and heart wrenching. It was as if I was trying to reason with a living statue. I had to get some kind of a human response from her.

"Bella, why did you jump off the cliff?"

The only response I got to this was also in a monotone.

"You lied to me Edward. You promised me it would be as if you never existed. You didn't keep your promise to me. So I didn't keep mine to you."

I felt my jaw fall open at this in my surprise. What was she talking about. It took me a moment to realize that I had indeed promised her that when I left it would be as if I never existed. I couldn't understand how I could have broken that promise. This was getting very confusing to me. I had made sure to hide everything that reminded her of me. Yes she had broken her promise to me she had done something reckless gone cliff diving. Now I was getting scared. Had she actually tried to kill her self? No, Bella wouldn't do that. But still the person I was talking with now only just looked like Bella. There was nothing I knew of Bella in her. She was just responding to whatever I asked her. I was in two minds about whether to stay or leave giving her time to recover when Bella suddenly made the decision for me.

"You should leave Edward."

_**Please review and let me know what you think :). This is my first fan fiction so your reviews will tell me whether I'm going in the right direction. Thanks. **_


	3. Chapter 3 Pain

**Chapter 3 Pain**

**Edward's POV**

I don't know how long I had lain there on the ground in the forest near Bella's house sobbing. The hole in my chest was wide open again. I hugged myself and rolled on the wet forest floor. This time it was unbearable. Last time I at least had the illusion that I could come back any time and have my love back with me and it was only a matter of coping with the separation anxiety. This time… oh my god… I felt myself sinking into a tearful mess when I realised that this is the type of heart wrenching agony that she must have felt when I uttered those heartless words. I thought I was doing her a favour by breaking all ties and leaving no hope. I could remember the agony in her face when she asked me _'You don't want me anymore?'_ I felt a piercing jolt of pain through my dead heart.

The sickening promise I had made her _'It will be as if I never existed'_ was something I could never keep. I couldn't just erase me from her mind and heart. The only thing that had been remotely good about my never ending existence up to this point had been her selfless love. Oh god, I had not only taken her love away from her and thrown it back at her, I had taken her family away as well.

I felt a small hand on my shoulder. I grabbed hold of her for dear life. I started sobbing cuddling her to me. My little pixie angel who was always there for me whenever I needed her, I felt myself inhaling her scent making sure she was there with me in reality, trying to calm myself.

She whispered in my ear. "I'm so sorry Edward. I didn't see it coming. She made the decision to ask you to leave then and there. There was no time to warn you."

"Alice…I… I'm so… sorry."

My voice was breaking. The image of little Alice crying her heart out on the floor begging me to not leave will be forever etched in my memory with my perfect recall. She lost her sister and her best friend that day. All her visions which had been so clear of them being together forever had suddenly disappeared and she was going insane with the pain. Jasper had been holding her to him trying to calm her down while suffering through his own guilt. I had put my family through hell.

Emmet wouldn't even look at me. His mind kept playing happy scenes with him and Bella and how much he loved her. She was the little sister he never had. Esme was beside herself with worry and concern for me hugging me to her. Her words a repetition of don't leave her Edward, don't leave us. Carlisle was soothing her while trying to reason with me. He kept coming up with different scenarios and excuses for staying.

It was only Rosalie who thought it best to just leave. She was not happy about leaving Forks, but she was happy that the human girl fiasco as she named it was over. She felt sorry for me but thought it best that is was a clean break. She didn't begin to understand what everyone else knew about how Bella and I loved each other.

As soon as I said those fateful words to Bella, I had just left without a second thought to the wreck I was leaving behind. I had ruined so many lives. The irony of it was that they were of the ones that loved me the most. I should end this shameful existence of this monster destroying the ones who dared to love him. I should go to the Volturi.

Just then Alice slapped me in my face with all her might. I was stunned. She got up and started screaming at me.

"Just once Edward, just once in your life think of the consequences before making a decision. Do you think I risked my life and Bella's leaving Jasper behind to save you so that you can walk right back in there? Are you insane? Do you want us to go crazy?" She circled me.

"Do you even understand the depth of the love I feel for you? I left Jasper Edward. Jasper my mate…." She sighed.

"I left him behind knowing that there was a big chance that I would never come back to him. By now you must know how much of a sacrifice that is." I looked at her stunned with dawning realisation.

"I did it for you, to save you Edward and you are thinking of taking your life again without even asking me? No Edward that decision is not up to you anymore."

"Did you even think for a minute about the sacrifice Bella made for you? She left Charlie and everyone she loved behind without a second thought for her life or her safety. I know she would make that sacrifice for her parents as she did for Renee. But she did it for you as well. Can't you see that she still cares for you, even though she may not understand it yet? I think she is confused and hurt. She is more of a walking robot than a human being these days."

She leaned down, and touched my shoulder.

"Edward, you have to give her time. Show her how much you love her. You have to undo the damage you have done. She's not dead, she's alive. You just have to give her life."

I just stared at her. She was right. I was such a fool. I felt I couldn't trust myself anymore. Every decision I seemed to make was wrong. I once told Bella that she doesn't know anything. I'm the one who doesn't know anything, not her. I should trust Alice. If I had just listened to her the first time around none of this would have happened.

A bright smile spread across the little pixie's face….She truly was my angel in disguise. I hugged her to me again.

"I love you Alice, thank you… thank you.. I promise to listen to what you say from now on." I barely got the words out before she hugged me fiercely sobbing and laughing at the same time.

"Love you too Edward." She beamed at me. I ruffled her hair holding her closer and kissing the top of her head.

For the first time since leaving Bella's room I felt myself hoping….. hoping for the best.


	4. Chapter 4 Consequences

**EPOV**

"Edward let's go we barely have time to get ready and go to school."

That got me out of my stupor. The others were home. They had flown in while Alice and I were on our way from Italy. We had already met them at the airport. It was only Alice and I who will be attending high school this time around because Emmett, Rosalie and Jasper had supposedly graduated while we were away since they were posing as seniors during our time here.

I felt a deep sense of coming back to where I belonged while driving into the parking lot at school. I have so many treasured memories of Bella in this school. I desperately hoped that I could rekindle the love Bella had for me those days. As soon as I entered the lot I searched in vain for her truck. My heart sank it was not there. I glanced at Alice. She was still smiling.

"Don't worry Edward she will be here. I have seen it."

Alice was thinking about taking Bella shopping. She was running through all the different collections. She had memorized them all.

"Come on Alice she won't go shopping. You know her dislike of shopping."

"Want to bet?"

"Ok. Fine. Try taking her."

"You can come too you know." She starting going through the men's collection. There were some nice t-shirts but I was shocked when she went through the underwear collection. They didn't cover anything much.

"May be you can model some for her."

What? She did not say that. I looked at Alice horrified. She was giving me one of her impish grins.

"Oh! Don't be such a prude Edward. You know she might like it."

No way was I going to model such indecent clothing in front of my Bella let alone wear any. All my underwear was very decent and covered everything that should be covered. I hoped Alice did not go ahead and purchase any of that stuff for me. I cringed at the thought of Esme finding any of that in my wardrobe. My birth father would have had a heart attack had he been faced with today's fashions.

"She's almost here let's go."

I felt a load lift from my heart. It was with a lighter heart that I got out of the car, only to be bombarded with a string of angry voices shouting at me. I glanced around me in bewilderment. I couldn't understand what was happening, so much of hatred all thrown at me. I had never been the focus of so much anger.

"_I will tear him limb for limb if he ever touches her again_." I turned in surprise to see the anger in Taylor Crawley's head. He was etching to come towards me but Lauren's hand held on to him.

_"How dare he show his face again, now he'll try to steal her all over again_", that was Mike Newton. "_He turned her into a zombie. He doesn't deserve her."_ I flinched as I grabbed hold of Alice for support as visions of Bella took over his head, Bella walking through the parking lot seemingly staring at the ground all the way to school. Bella sitting alone in the table at the cafeteria we shared together just staring at nothing and eating nothing. The attempts he made to try to talk to her. She didn't even seem to hear him. Then his thoughts turned to the last couple of months. Bella was working at his store. But still she was just like a robot doing everything he asked her to do. He felt hurt at her seeming unwillingness to go out with him. In actual fact it was more like she didn't even understand that he was making any advances. She seemed to be in an eternal state of being.

I was so focused on reading Mike's thoughts that I was surprised when someone jerked me from my grasp on Alice. I let go of her and turned toward the person near me. I got the shock of my life to see Angela standing in front of me pulling me away from Alice. Her hands were shaking and her normally calm and angelic face was red with fury.

"How could you treat her so badly, you… you… you.. jerk." I guessed she didn't even have words for the names she wanted to call me. She was such a calm and collected girl with only kind thoughts in her mind. I had always found my refuge in her thoughts. Now her thoughts were so violent, her body shook with the force of her anger. She dragged me away from Alice and pulled me to a corner in the parking lot out of sight of the other students. I was glad to get away from all the unfriendly attention directed my way.

"Get out of here now, before she comes. I don't ever want her to lay her eyes on you. She will not recover from it if she sees you. Please I'm begging you." Angela was now in tears.

"Leave before she comes. I can't watch her go through that again."

Her memories hit me with such a force that I fell to my knees in front of her. An almost lifeless Bella laying on the couch in her living room, in a sort of a catatonic state muttering 'he's gone' repeatedly with a vacant look on her face, Angela's desperate repeated attempts to try to revive her not making the slightest impact. Charlie Swan crying in a corner…. my god Charlie was crying. I started sobbing into my hands again. Dr. Gerandy was administering some kind of a drug to try to make her sleep. So many people were cramped up into Charlie's living room. Almost every important figure in the village was there. Some of the kids from the reservation were also there. They looked very angry while the others looked confused and relieved. Then Angela's next thought '_at least they found her before anything happened to her_' took me by surprise. That brought me out of my shock.

I finally found my voice while still on the ground looking up at her.

"Please Angela tell me what happened."

She didn't look angry anymore, she looked as if she was bemused.

"As if you don't know, she went looking for you in the forest after you left her. If it wasn't for that huge reservation guy I can't imagine what would have happened to her over night in that forest in the cold."

"Oh god… do you mean to tell me that she went after me?"

"What did you expect?"

"I didn't know. Angela I'm so sorry. I never imagined she would try to follow me. I .. I… thought she went straight home. In fact we were just near Bella's back garden when I left. Angela, I can't tell you how sorry I am for everything that happened. I'm so sorry."

"If you are sorry and that concerned for Bella's welfare you should leave before she sees you."

"She already knows I'm here. She came and got me."

I can tell that surprised Angela.

"She… she saved my life Angela. I heard that Bella was dead and I tried to take my life and Bella, she came and saved me." I decided that Angela deserved to know the truth, at least as much as I can tell her.

Now it was Angela's turn to be out of words. "You thought she was dead? Why?"

"Rosalie heard she jumped from a cliff and .. and thought she was dead. I misunderstood her and decided that I didn't want to live without my Bella."

"What? Why would you try to take your life when you don't even love her anymore?"

It was time for the truth.

"I still love her Angela. I have always loved her and I will continue to love her for the rest of my existence. She means everything to me."

"But how.. how could you leave her?"

"I thought when Carlisle got the job and we had to move that it was better if I broke up with Bella so that she can move on and lead a normal happy life."

"Normal life? Can you even begin to understand how much that girl loved you? I don't think it was just a teenage romance. I have always felt Bella is a very serious person, she would have never taken something like the relationship you had lightly. I also remember how much you seemed to love her. I can't imagine how you could bear to leave her."

"I couldn't Angela. Lying to her and leaving her was the most difficult thing I had ever done in my life. I didn't realize how deep her love for me was. I had just decided to come back to her when I found out about the cliff diving incident."

"Ok. I believe you. So you are back together with her again then?"

"Not exactly. She doesn't want me anymore. I don't know what's happened to her Angela. She saved me and she let me hold her, but she … she…" I faltered; I couldn't find the words to explain the way Bella was now behaving.

"Oh…she's still not out of it is she? I loath to admit this but may be you are the only one who might be able to bring her back…..since you are the one who made her her…."

With that she broke down. I patted her on the back afraid to hug her for fear that she might feel my cold skin. I felt like the worst kind of scoundrel to have made this kind hearted girl cry. Alice's voice broke through my thoughts. "Edward, she's here."

I let go of Angela looking around for Bella. She was getting down from Charlie's cruiser. She moved away from the car as if she was in some kind of a trance and started walking towards the school. Alice hopped and went right up to her to speak with her. I heard their conversation and couldn't believe what I was hearing. Alice was asking her whether she would go shopping with her. I couldn't help but smile at the response she's surely going to get from Bella. Guess I should never bet against Alice. Bella simply looked at Alice and answered her "yes". That was it; with that she continued walking towards what I presumed was her first class. She didn't take anymore notice of Alice or anyone else around her.

"Please I'm begging you…. Please don't leave her again…"

I heard Angela's voice beside me as if I was in a dream. I turned to her and made the promise that I hoped to never break for the whole of eternity.

"Angela, I promise you I will never ever leave her."

She stood there nodding her head as I started walking in a hurry to get to class and try to secure a seat near Bella. I ignored all the thoughts around me in my haste to get to my Bella. Alice was in a different class from us for English. She had made sure that I had most of my classes with Bella which was such a relief to me. I was so happy that Carlisle had called ahead and enrolled us in school again.

At the door to the class room I paused to admire my Bella, but I was greeted with a growing unease at her behaviour. Her face was pale and haggard like I noticed yesterday night but her bones were more pronounced in the daylight. She seemingly stared into space looking at nothing in particular. There was nothing happening behind her vacant eyes. It was as if… it was as if… I struggled with the words I didn't even want to think of in my mind… it was as if she was dead… there was no life in her. Nothing was left of the bright, beautiful girl who had stolen the heart of a vampire and countless others. She didn't even make the slightest acknowledgement of me when I quickly took my seat next to her. I couldn't believe my luck when I found that both the seats near her were vacant.

Then I heard the thoughts of Eric Yorkie.

"_I should have sat next to her even if she didn't talk to me. I should have tried more to get her attention. Now that Edward is back I won't ever have a chance with her again_." In his mind I saw Bella sitting in the same chair with the same expression a countless number of times. Oh god what had I done to her. I was more determined than ever to bring my Bella back to me.

"Good Morning Bella."

She didn't even turn to me, but she did say a very quiet "Morning."

At least she was speaking to me. I was glad I had got some kind of a response. Our English teacher walked in at that moment and started our lesson. We were doing a character analysis of Pride and Prejudice. Bella took very neat notes in her book. I noticed that her hand writing had improved. She did not have any doodles on the side of the pages as she usually did. Everything was very neat. She even arranged her pens and pencils in a straight line. I decided I would speak to Bella again.

"Bella can I have a pen? I forgot to bring mine." I was lying through my teeth but I wanted to see whether she would give one of hers to me. She didn't even check whether I had a pen on me, I covered the tip of my pen poking up through the pocket of my denim.

I saw her lift a pen from her desk and place it on my table. Ok fine. At least I had an object touched by Bella belonging to her with me. I slowly raised it to my nose and inhaled her scent on it. I hoped she wouldn't ask me for it when we finished classes. She still smelt of freesia and strawberry shampoo. I was thirsty but I no longer craved the tempting aroma of her blood. Instead I felt a heightened desire to touch her. I barely restrained myself from touching her. I will have to some how keep my desire under control. Bella would definitely detest me if she ever noticed how much I wanted her now that she didn't want me. She would think I am the worst possible masochist in existence.

Bella didn't speak another word in her next two classes with me. Alice had the fourth class with her. I sat next to Bella in all her classes. As luck would have it there was always a vacant chair next to her. When I thought about it, I realised it was not luck that the chair next to her was always vacant, but it was the fact that everyone just treated Bella like an inanimate non-responsive object now and they didn't even bother to sit next to her. Angela did sit next to her in the only class they had together but she didn't talk with her. Angela kept sending furtive glances my way in intervals hoping to catch my eye and when I finally looked at her, she smiled. Bella seemed to be totally unaware of the exchange and just stared at the teacher taking notes. She wrote everything down in all her classes as if her life depended on it.

I looked for Bella when we reached the cafeteria for lunch. She was sitting in a large table with Angela and the others. I was wondering how I could join them after I purchased my lunch, when Alice took the initiative and walked right up to the table and asked Bella whether we could sit with her for lunch to which she nodded yes. I could see the others were not happy about this except for Angela who again smiled with both of us making room for me to sit next to Bella with Alice on her other side.

As soon as we sat Alice started talking about her plan to shop with Bella and even invited Angela along. Alice and Angela dominated the conversation all through lunch while Bella just ate an apple and I stared at her. The others kept shooting daggers at me. I forgot to eat until Alice nudged me and screamed _'eat something you idiot'_. I took something that looked like a piece of fruit and ate it with distaste. I managed to steal Bella's soda bottle top again and hoped the others didn't notice it. I hoped to keep it as a keep sake with my other bottle top which I stole the first day I sat with Bella for lunch. I looked at the others and tapped into their thoughts to make sure I was safe. Mike, Taylor and Eric were all furious that I sat next to Bella. Lauren and Jessica were happy to see me back but they too didn't like the idea that I was sitting next to Bella. When I looked up Lauren stared at me and asked me,

"So Edward how long do you plan to stay this time?" In her thoughts she thought, _I bet I can make him stay longer than Bella did she must have not satisfied him in bed. A hunk like that needs a lot of attention_.

I answered "Indefinitely."

This made Jessica smile at me. "You should go out and enjoy yourself." _I could show you some really nice places._

I quickly got out of her head. I looked at Bella hoping she would look jealous like she usually did when these two tried to get my attention, but all I was greeted with was a very unresponsive Bella still eating her apple and staring at nothing. She didn't even seem to notice the conversation going on between Alice and Angela over her head with her name mentioned several times. It was as if she didn't hear them. She was in another world. For the first time since I got back I felt a shiver run down my back. Bella was sick. Something was seriously wrong with her mentally. I wondered why she was not taken for treatment. I made a mental note to ask Carlisle to get all her medical records. I was going to make her better no matter what it took. I was going to get my Bella back. What I couldn't understand is how she was managing to get through her studies. She must have got through the term tests to still be in class. I decided to get her school records as well. I would come tonight and check them out. I had nothing better to do now that Bella didn't let me spend the night with her anymore.

_**Please review and let me know what you think. It is your reviews that keep me going :) **_


	5. Chapter 5 Confrontation

**Edward's POV**

Gym was the only class that Bella had without Alice and me and it was the last class for today. We were now in the parking lot waiting for Bella to emerge from the girl's locker room. I had been following Bella in gym and as usual she was having trouble, but I was surprised to see that she didn't trip once. However, she failed to catch any of the balls that came her way so nothing much had changed in Bella's coordination.

But still she remained emotionless with a poker face during the whole period. I knew that she blushed frequently during gym because of her mishaps but that didn't happen anymore. No one seemed to pay much attention to her again. This worried me. I have to get hold of those school records soon. I sent a message to Carlisle to get all of Bella's medical records. Alice was waiting eagerly for Bella to appear to try to get her to go shopping after school. She was already sorting through the type of collections that would best suit Bella's new thinner frame.

Bella didn't have transport to go back home and she hadn't asked anyone else for a lift. I felt myself smile, this was my chance to offer her a ride home. It will just look like a friendly gesture and Alice would be with me. Surly she would have no reason to refuse. I could may be offer to take Alice and Bella shopping. Alice gave me a 1000mega watt smile.

"Have you changed your mind about modeling the underwear Edward?"

"No way Alice! Not on your life." Images of that offensive collection went through my mind. Most of them didn't even cover your bottom; just a few straps holding things together. I cringed. They were scandalous. Would Bella like to see me so intimately? What was I thinking! Of course she won't. I'm being a scoundrel to have such ungentlemanly thoughts.

"What about the t-shirts? I know you liked them."

_"Bella might like them on you. They would look good on you."_

Oh great! Alice's vivid pictures of me in the t-shirts with Bella admiring me made me feel hot all over. But will she even look at me? I remembered the way her eyes used to roam over me when she thought I wasn't looking. I would give anything to have her look at me like that again. I would endure any type of misery just to spend a few measly extra hours with Bella. I won't get to be by her side in the nights now so my time with her will be limited to our school times.

I was actually considering modeling the t-shirts for my Bella when my day dream was interrupted by the roar of a motor cycle. I turned to see Jacob Black the wolf drive in to the parking lot. What is he doing here? No one seemed to take much notice of him as if he was a regular figure here. I found it impossible to ignore him; the dog had grown at least another foot during our absence. I guess it was the werewolf gene contributing to the growth sprout. He turned his head and glared at me.

"_What are those blood suckers doing back in school? I hope he is not going to hurt Bella again."_

Alice looked confused as well. She couldn't see her shopping trip with Bella anymore. Just then I heard a shout.

"Hey Jake!"

Bella came running towards the dog and she was smiling. God! She looked beautiful when she smiled. This was the first time she smiled since I had seen her again. Wait….she was smiling at the dog, not at me! He was also returning her smile. When she reached him he hugged her to him.

"How have you been Bells?"

"Oh great!... I've got an assignment I like. I have to write my own interpretation of the characters in pride and prejudice. We can discuss all about it when we get home. What do you have for homework today?"

She was talking to him like she normally would have done those days with me. She spoke more words with the dog for that brief amount of time than she had spoken the entire time at school. She then grabbed the helmet in his hand and put it on and jumped into the back of the motor cycle. She didn't fumble once. If was as if she did this on a regular basis. I was shocked. She was going to ride on a motor cycle with a werewolf… a teenage werewolf known for their volatile nature. I couldn't let her risk her life like this. I started walking towards them in a hurry. Alice grabbed my hand.

"Stop Edward, it looks like she has been doing this for a long time now and from what I can see he has not hurt her. If you try to stop her now she will be angry with you. We can't interfere in her life anymore Edward we gave up that right when we left. If we try to change her life now she will never accept us again." She looked worried.

I dropped my head and took a deep breath as I heard them driving away out of the parking lot at break-neck speed. At least she wore a helmet and the wolves did have good coordination.

"I don't like it anymore than you do Edward. He just ruined my shopping trip. Come to think of it, he could be the reason why I don't see Bella that clearly anymore, like I didn't see him rescue her after the cliff diving incident. So this means that whenever her future is intermingled with the wolf's I don't see her anymore. It looks like he's a regular figure in her life now. Like I told you he was there with her the last time I came." She sighed.

"Yes. I remember. So this means you can't see any decisions she makes now?" I asked more worried than before.

"Yes. Oh! great! Now I won't be able to plan anything in advance." She looked completely dejected.

"I know." I sighed. If Alice was blind I wouldn't know how safe Bella was going to be. What if something happened to her? How will I ever protect her now?

"And then again, Bella seems very reluctant to make any decisions about anything. The only thing I see clearly is Bella attending one of the best universities in the country. I don't even know which one since she had not made a decision about it yet, as if that explains anything." She was talking non stop.

What? Bella gets into a premium college? Oh, I guess we will both be going there then. I will have to talk to Carlisle about negotiating with the board of which ever university she decides to attend. I guess they could do with a new library or something. I seriously doubted Bella getting any where with her grades the way she's behaving.

"Alice I think I should keep an eye on Bella, she's with a dog and I don't want anything to happen to her. I know she doesn't want me to interfere in her life but isn't it ok to just wait at a safe distance to make sure she is ok?"

"Yes Edward, that would be good. I don't like the idea of that dog all alone with Bella anymore than you do. He has been around a lot lately. Charlie told me that he was instrumental in Bella's recovery. He said that Bella seemed almost normal when she was with the dog. In fact he is hoping that she would get together with him. They had both been childhood friends during the summers she visited Charlie. As you know Charlie and Billy Black are good friends too, so he thinks that if Jacob marries Bella that would be the best thing that could happen to her. I didn't want to tell you about this earlier, but I guess you should know exactly what you are dealing with here Edward. You have to tread very carefully. We can't afford a war with the werewolves now and we can't make Bella resent us even more by antogonising him. After all he was there for her when we weren't."

She looked sad when she said that. I felt the hole in my heart just opening wider if that was even possible. Oh! god I had competition. Not a simple human boy but a werewolf, our worst enemy. Couldn't Bella choose someone less dangerous and if I had to admit less good looking? No. She had to go and latch on to the next available dangerous mythical creature around. I knew I was being unreasonable but I couldn't help it. She was really and truly a danger magnet! And I was jealous as hell.

I looked at Alice to let her know that I would be going to Bella's place now when I noticed the heartbroken look on her face. I just realized that she was taking this hard. Her best friend has found a replacement for her, and she was hurting deeply. Bella was the only best friend Alice had other than family since the start of her vampire life and she didn't have any memories from her human life. I felt so guilty again for putting her through all this. I had really been a selfish bastard. I put a hand around the tiny pixie and pulled her to me to comfort her.

"Come on Alice, she agreed to go shopping with you. When has Bella ever willingly agreed to go shopping with you? As I recall she will be going with you and Angela tomorrow after school right?"

Her face lit up with a smile at this and her head was full of the latest fashions in France again. I smiled at her. Trust Alice to forget all her worries just at the mention of the magical word 'shopping'.

"Alice I have got to go. Ok? See you later." I kissed her forehead and discreetly stepped into the woods behind our school and started running when I was away from the humans.

Running always made me feel free. I felt some of the tension lift from my body. I will be close to my Bella soon. At least I could listen to her heartbeat. It would always calm me. I was very agitated and lost. I didn't know how to handle the situation. I couldn't break up the dog and Bella if that is what Bella wanted I would watch from the sidelines. I felt myself breaking into sobs again as I ran. My vampire reflexes got me safely to the large tree on Bella's backyard and I broke down in my agony. A foul smell penetrated my thoughts and I jerked my head up to find Jacob staring at me through the kitchen window. I could hear the shower running upstairs. I guess Bella must be taking a wash. Jacob walked out the kitchen door into the back yard.

"I would like to talk with you leech." I slowly climbed down from the tree.

"What do you want to say?" I stood a safe distance away.

"What are you doing back all of a sudden? And where was Bella the past three days? Charlie was looking for her every where."

_"He shows up now when he didn't even bother to check up on her during the months he went missing. If he only knew how close we came to loosing Bella."_

With that his memories flew to the meadow and the image in his mind made me freeze in surprise and pain.

"_Oh the leech can read my mind, the legends were right. Well let me show him the whole scene."_

What I saw next in his mind make me shake with anger and fear. Laurent was with Bella in the meadow making an advance at her and Bella was begging for her life. That was when the wolves decided to attack. They took Laurent down. I was glad about that but the words he spoke before had my head spinning. So Victoria was going to hurt Bella to get back at me.

"The redhead has made several appearances in Forks after that. But we have been keeping an eye on Bella and she has not been able to get her hands on her. Bella told me that the redhead was after her to kill her because you killed her mate or something."

I stammered and started thanking Jacob for saving my Bella. I couldn't imagine my stupidity.

"Jacob, I never thought she would come to look for Bella in Forks. I had been tracking Victoria in South America all the while she had actually been in Forks and would have already taken her revenge if it wasn't for you. Thank you for keeping Bella alive when I failed to do so."

She would have had her revenge on me by taking my Bella if it hadn't been for a bunch of teenage werewolves. I shuddered at the thought.

"We will continue to protect her. But you have to let me come to Forks which falls under your land under the treaty in order to do that."

"I don't have anything against you visiting her but now that we are back we will try to protect Bella as well. When did you last see Victoria in Forks?"

"She came the day Bella went cliff diving. That was why I was not accompanying her as I would have."

"You mean to say she was close by the day Bella nearly drowned?"

"Yes. And that is the reason why it took so long for me to save her." He looked defensive now.

"I can't even begin to express my gratitude to you for saving Bella's life so many times."

"You can thank me by staying the hell out of her life." He looked angry.

"You know I can't do that Jacob. I love her. I never stopped loving her. I will do anything to win her back."

"I love her too and I am also going to do everything I can to keep her with me." A stubborn look came over his face.

"Her safety comes first though so I'm willing to make a compromise with you, let us put our differences aside and work together to catch Victoria. Please let us know if she comes to Forks again. We will do the same. I presume Bella has your number."

"Oh you can call me at ….." and he mentally gave out the number to his home.

I nodded at him and started climbing up the tree.

"Hey leech, I don't like you spying on me and Bella. I would appreciate it if you left now and came back after I leave. You can keep an eye on her after that. I will be leaving at around 9pm." He glared at me.

Guess he can ask me to leave just as Bella did. I was glad he didn't know that Bella had already asked me to leave. But I was happy that I will be able to come back again tonight to protect Bella even if it meant I was going to spend the night in a tree close to her house. I was not going to leave my Bella unprotected even for a minute. I will get a look at Bella's school records and medical records while I am away and go for a short hunt. I had not hunted for over one and a half months now. I felt very weak. This is the longest I had gone without hunting in my life.


	6. Chapter 6 Surprises

**Edward's POV**

I blinked once then twice to make sure that I was reading the documents I held in my hands correctly. Bella had straight A's in every subject! That is except for gym; even in that she had managed to get a C+. I couldn't begin to comprehend what I was reading. I knew Bella was a bright student. She had been in an advanced placement class at Phoenix. But this was incredible. She was having the highest grades in Forks high. She had even over taken us. We made sure that we made at least one or two mistakes in our answers to make it look more human in our examinations and assignments. At this rate she would get into any university she wanted on a full scholarship. She had no need for my help or the Cullen money to back her. I went on to read her teacher's comments. They were full of praise.

She didn't seem to have found a replacement lab partner for me in biology and she had continued to score good marks in that as well. Then I remembered something. Her obsessive note taking and focus in class. To admit the truth I had been a little hurt that she could sit next to me and ignore me for such a long time. I remembered how one look from me could make her heartbeat increase and make her blush. Her chocolate eyes would darken with desire. I would give anything to have her look at me like that again.

I made copies of everything and left the school.I rushed home to Carlisle. May be he would have a better explanation for Bella's strange behaviour and I also wanted to know what illness she had been recovering from.

I was dumb struck with the medical reports Carlisle had to offer me.

Dr. Gerandy had tried to persuade Charlie to send Bella for psychiatric treatment that first week after I left. However, he seemed to have changed his mind since Bella had gone back to school and started doing well. No mention was made of any type of illness. She hadn't even suffered from a flu during that time. However after the first four months there had been some emergency room visits with cuts and scrapes which Bella had said she got when she had fallen down from time to time. They made sense since she didn't have me or my family with super reflexes around anymore to catch her.

"Edward, I hate to say this to you, but she may not have been physically ill but her mental state could have contributed to her loss of weight."

I looked up in horror. It was my fault...

"Before you start blaming yourself again, I think it would be best if you tried to think positively and try to help her recover now. Alice said she smiled today, and seemed almost normal when that kid from the reservation came to visit her."

I nodded.

"She has the potential to make a full recovery, help her son." Carlisle gave me a pat on my back. He still had so much faith in me even after what I had done.

I nodded again.

I took a change of clothes with me in a back pack to Bella's. I did a check around the forest and house before I climbed on the tree in the back yard. I could see her cleaning up the dishes from dinner. Jacob had just got up to leave. He looked out into the back yard and gave me a small nod. I heard his thoughts '_Please let me know if you have any news of the red head.' _

I answered very softly knowing that he could hear. "Sure."

So life settled into a routine. I sat next to Bella in all the classes I had with her. She continued to focus on her lessons and I on her. I barely managed to get through each day. The dog came up to school almost every day to pick up Bella. Some days they went to Charlie's and on others Bella drove off to the reservation with him.I only hunted close to Forks and did not go on any long hunting trips. On the days that the dog didn't turn up Bella would clean the house. I noticed that not a speck of dust could be found anywhere. I barely recognized Bella's room. It was so neat. Even her hair brush and comb kept in a straight line just like she kept her pens and pencils at school.

Bella had started wearing the new clothes Alice had bought her from the day after the shopping trip. I was having a very difficult time coping with not only Bella's scent but her sexy looks as well. When she emerged from the truck that first day in a very tight outfit comprising of jeans and a red top I almost fell out of the Volvo. I could hardly recognize her. And I had a very prominent reaction which I couldn't hide from down below. I barely managed to keep my books in front of me to hide my arousal before Alice burst out laughing and quickly walked away. She had kept some baggy clothing out for me on my bed that day so I had put them on. I was very glad for the covering now since I was unable to hide my bulging reaction for the rest of the day. Had it not been for my cloths covering my embarrassment I would have had to leave school.

I caught Alice looking at me from time to time and quirked my eyebrows asking why. Her only reply was

"_I'm going to choose what you wear from now on. Trust me it is for the best."_

I started nodding my head in agreement but half way through realized that she must have seen my reaction to Bella's new clothes and decided to dress me in something that would hide my arousal from the others.

Oh dear god! My own sister had seen…, in one of her visions that… I her brother would …god no; I'm not going to even think it!

If I could drill a hole in the floor I would have gladly done it and hidden myself away for all of eternity. But she had saved me from certain embarrassment. Yes. I was going to trust her and just let her decide on my clothing. This was totally out of my hands and I had no experience on how to cope with it. I decided to ask her not to tell Emmett or the others about her visions.

I saw her smile and think "_No I wouldn't tell anyone, it will be our little secret_."

Life continued with me going through torture every day sitting next to a very sexy Bella, who was completely oblivious to my reaction and her looks; barely keeping my hands to myself. Incidentally I was not the only one who noticed her changed fashion sense. All the boys thought she looked very hot while some of the girls shot daggers at her.

Angela was the only girl happy with Bella's dress sense. The guy's attraction to her had a very negative side effect on me. They thought of so many unimaginable things and fantasies that they wanted to do with her. Although I tried to block them out I found myself replacing them in some of their fantasies and creating my own with me and Bella starring in them. They were more vulgar than my own creations.

Bella's body had filled out while I was away, specially her breasts and hips, although her whole frame was much thinner than before. I knew her shape almost to the exact inch. I had felt her breasts pressed to my chest on the nights she cuddles close to me. Her nipples used to pebble when they met my coldness. I had made sure her hips never met my lower body; with the excuse of keeping her from the cold I would wrap the comforter around her. The truth was that I had fought with a raging hard-on when she was so close to me. Now in my fantasies I would remove the comforter and pull her hips flush against me. Her womanly curves hugging me; she would moan out loud when she felt me.

I was acting very human for a vampire; a very horny teenage human at that. I think I have never been so much like a seventeen year old with raging hormones as I was for the past two weeks. My birth mother would have been so ashamed of me. I followed Bella every where and the guys assumed that she was wearing these clothes to attract me so luckily no one approached her directly. They didn't seem to notice that we hardly spoke. But then again Bella didn't really speak with anyone. We didn't get any visits from Victoria either so life settled into a sort of a routine.

That is until Alice's outburst in the middle of the living room two weeks after we got back.

"Edward you've got to stop borrowing stuff from Bella. I can't shop for her and keep replacing everything. I know you don't even need anything since you have your own stuff. Charlie's bound to notice Bella's missing stationery at this rate. I saw you borrow three pens, two pencils and six pages from her note book today! Not to mention her eraser and ruler again. At this rate in another two weeks you would have enough stuff to open your own stationery store."

That got my attention.

"What do you mean you had to shop for her?"

"Didn't you even realize that Bella won't be able to afford to replace all the stuff you've been borrowing? She barely seems to realize what she is giving you let alone miss them. But she has to do her work and needs her stuff. So I have been replacing everything you keep borrowing. Do you know that the black pencil you borrowed from her yesterday had gone out of production? It belonged to Charlie and it was the only pencil she could find in the house yesterday so she had brought it with her to school to replace the two you borrowed the day before. I can't buy a replacement for that and Charlie is sure to miss it since he uses it to keep his baseball scores."

I felt so embarrassed. I had not been trying to get Bella's stuff. But I couldn't resist talking to her in the guise of borrowing stuff since she would always stop doing what she had been doing at the moment and look at me as she gave me what ever I asked to borrow. I had to see her eyes looking at me. I was still trying to read her mind through her eyes.

Those days I was able to look into her soul using her eyes as my windows. But these days they were just blank pools of nothingness. There was no emotion or hidden depth in them anymore. But my need to keep looking for it was over whelming. Thus it had actually driven me to insanity! What was I thinking! I had a whole drawer full of stuff I borrowed from Bella during the past two weeks. I had even named it my Bella drawer. It calmed me when I looked at it and touched the items in it during the times I had to leave Bella's side. I now had two weeks worth of bottle tops in it as well. I had carefully put them inside a coin collection box with dividers. So that I remembered which one I got on which date and the memories that went with it. I realized that I was beginning to resemble some kind of a maniac celebrity fan or a stalker.

"Keep taking the bottle tops Edward I don't mind. Just stop borrowing stuff from her. Find another way to get her to talk to you. I may love to shop but I'm also getting tired of visiting the stationery store every day, and the people there today wanted to know whether I would like to place a bulk order. Be thankful that I didn't simply get the stuff from your precious collection and returned them to Bella. I know how much they mean to you so I didn't want to take from it. But please stop this. It's becoming ridiculous. And please return the black pencil when you get to Charlie's today. He's going to miss it when he watches the game tonight. Make sure you keep it on the pad next to the couch on the small side table."

I heard a booming laugh from Emmett who was upstairs with Rose. Alice had spoken in front of the family. How embarrassing. Esme and Carlisle just stood there in surprise staring at me. Esme came to me and sat next to me.

"Oh now I understand; I nearly threw away the bottle tops yesterday, when Alice barged in and rescued them from the garbage. I thought she was crazy. She warned me not to throw away anything I found in your room when I cleaned it and she wanted to sort through whatever stuff I decided that weren't worth keeping before I got rid of them. I thought she was crazy but agreed with her because I knew she always had her reasons. Would you like to sort through your garbage now without troubling her?"

She was stroking my hair as she asked this question. I was dumb struck. I heard another booming laugh from upstairs and Carlisle scolded Emmett and told him to mind his own business. I nodded a meek yes in response and cuddled closer to her so that I could lay my head on her lap. I was feeling embarrassed but I felt loved at the same time and I needed to know that people cared for me and loved me even if the person I loved the most didn't seem to love me back. I had always treasured moments like this when Esme held me. She reminded me so much of my own mother. She made me feel almost human.

_**Please review. A fun chapter will come next when Edward figures out how he's going to get Bella talking again.**_


	7. Chapter 7 A ride to remember

**Edward's POV**

When I got to school I decided to try out a different strategy. I remembered that every time someone asked Bella a question she would always answer it. I could keep asking her questions and she will have to look at me some times when she answered. I tried it out during English.

"So Bella who is your favourite character in pride and prejudice?"

She answered all at once. "Elizabeth Bennet."

From there onwards I kept asking her why she liked her and so on. I continued asking about different characters from the book and got her to talk to me throughout the day. She didn't seem to notice that we talked about the same book the whole day. The next day I started on Romeo and Juliet. Then on the day following I talked to her about Wuthering Heights. I wasn't sure whether I was making any progress or not but I was happy to simply hear her voice.

It was finally on Thursday when I started on Merchant of Venice that a groan from Alice broke my concentration.

"_Please Edward don't spoil the classics for me. I love those books but at the rate you are going I'm going to end up hating them. Find another topic of conversation. I heard Jacob Black mentioning something about motor bikes yesterday. I think Bella likes them. I don't particularly like bikes so it doesn't matter if you continue with the topic for some time_."

I didn't realize that I had been talking to Bella continuously about books. I was only concerned about thinking up the next question I was going to ask. I decided that Alice was right. It was getting monotonous with her answers always being very precise and mostly in monosyllables. I wasn't succeeding at drawing Bella out in a normal conversation.

I changed the topic abruptly. Bella didn't seem to notice.

"So do you like riding bikes?"

"Yes it's exhilarating, just like when you used to run"

She remembered it. She remembered me running with her on my back. But she used to close her eyes when I ran saying it made her dizzy.

"Did you like running?"

"I'm not sure."

She looked very confused by my question. I remembered she didn't like the speed at which I ran or drove the Volvo for that matter. But now she seemed to like it. This was new.

"But you like the speed of motor bikes?"

"Yes. I love it. When I ride my bike it's like I'm in a different world so free from everything."

There was a blissful look on her face. I was so engrossed with the emotion on her face that I almost didn't catch her words.

"Excuse me; did you just say you own a motor bike?"

"Yes. Oh, please don't tell Charlie. He doesn't know. I salvaged two bikes and Jake repaired them. It's hidden in Jake's garage in La Push. I ride it whenever I go visiting. I hear your voice when I ride. It's such an adrenaline rush."

I didn't have time to form an answer before the bell rang signaling the end of the period and Bella abruptly got up and went. She didn't seem to even notice that she had left in the middle of a conversation.

I was so shocked at her revelation that I didn't notice how long I sat there until Alice poked me in the ribs.

"Brother dearest it's time to go to the next class."

"Alice… Bella owns a motor bike.. I mean Bella drives a motor bike."

This was a nightmare. My clumsy Bella on a motor bike; I couldn't even imagine it. The horror of her falling at any minute and hurting herself, I was sure it must have happened so many times with her coordination. I remembered all the hospital records. They didn't at first seem that unusual but when I thought about it, all the wounds had been sustained by falling. At least the newest records showed she hadn't shown up at the emergency room for awhile, that means she must have got better at riding her bike. Wait…..what did she mean by 'I hear your voice when I ride?'

I was totally confused now. She sounded like some adrenaline junkie. I promised myself I would explore this further. For once when she spoke to me she had some kind of an emotion in her voice. I was grateful for that if not terrified about her next ride on the bike.

I rushed to the next class. This was one of the classes I didn't have with Bella. I waited impatiently till the end of the period. Then I walked as fast as my human charade would allow me to the next class I shared with her and sat down and waited for her.

She walked in and sat next to me in her usual seat.

"What do you mean you hear my voice when you ride?"

"Oh, it's just you warning me that I might fall. It's fun to provoke you. It was when I started hearing your voice that I decided to do things that made you warn me. You didn't keep your promise to me so I decided not to keep mine to you. It was such a rush; it's out of this world when I did those things like riding the bike."

Was she hallucinating? My medical training kicked it. Then it struck me she had started to do dangerous things that I had warned her not to do. I had broken that cruel promise I made to her 'It will be as if I never existed' which I had of course been unable to keep. So she had decided to break her promise to me as well and put herself in danger. Oh my poor Bella. She didn't even sound mentally coherent anymore. She sounded so nonchalant about it all while speaking to me. Didn't she realize she was admitting to hallucinating about me to me? It was as if she was talking of someone else.

The teacher walked in and once again Bella was lost in her own world. I decided then and there that I should try to some how get to the bottom of this. May be I could persuade her to take me with her on her next ride. Will she say yes? Well Alice was able to make her go shopping. That gave me hope.

As soon as the bell rang before she got up I managed to talk to her.

"Bella I would love to see your motor bike and ride with you. Will you take me on a ride?"

"Sure sure. Tomorrow I'm planning to go for a spin on my bike. You can come. Meet me at the border to the reservation at 10am."

Just like that I got invited to go on a motor bike ride with Bella. To say I was excited was an understatement. I will get to spend at least part of Saturday with her. I had come to hate the weekends since I was not able to see Bella on those days.

I was smiling from ear to ear when I left school. Alice smiled at me.

"You look like the cat that ate the cream."

"Yes you could say that. Bella is taking me on a ride on her bike tomorrow."

I could see Alice had already seen it. She smiled and muttered.

"The ride of your life."

And then began singing the national anthem in Arabic. I wondered what she was hiding but I was too excited to be concerned.

Finally it was Saturday. Alice had left me my clothes for the day. I was a bit surprised by her choice. She had left me three pairs of underwear a very tight fitting pair of jeans and a black t-shirt. This was a bit different from the baggy clothes I had been wearing the past couple of weeks. Oh! Well if she wanted me to wear these clothes I will just follow her advice. After all I was not going to bet against Alice on anything at this point. Besides I was too happy to be spending time with Bella in some place other than the class room.

I got to the boarder 10 minutes before and Bella pulled up shortly afterwards. She was smiling. This was the first time she smiled at me since I got back and I looked back at her in a daze. I don't know whether I smiled or not but I guess I did because her smile actually grew wider.

"Hop on."

She screamed over the noise of the motor bike and I gladly got on to the back and looked for something to hold on. But it was an old bike and didn't seem to have the handhold that should have been there. I debated on what to do.

"Hold on to me, I'm going to accelerate now."

Without a second thought I grabbed hold of Bella.

This was the first time I held Bella after getting back from Volterra. The wind was blowing Bella's hair in my face and I could smell her scent very strongly wrapping me up in ecstasy. The desire I had tried so desperately to control over took me. Edward junior stood at attention all at once. I didn't have space to pull back since the bike was small and I was pressed closely to Bella. Oh dear. I held on for dear life. I couldn't move I couldn't do anything. I just hoped Bella didn't notice it. Hopefully she would be too excited with her adrenaline rush and speed. I decided to talk to her to keep her mind focused on the bike ride.

"Be… Bella this is s..so great. I love r..riding with you like this." My voice shook and I was finding it increasingly difficult to talk. I was so aroused.

"Yes. It's fun isn't it?"

"Y…eees…..." and I moaned. God…that was an understatement.

"We'll go on a side road so that no one sees me on the bike."

Bella said this and suddenly turned into a bumpy dirt road off the main road.

Oh for the love of…..I didn't even bother to think the rest. The bumping made me rub against her back. Edward junior was having the time of his life. I felt the fiery warmth of her body rush up through every point of contact I had with her. I heard myself whimpering. I couldn't speak. I could feel myself throbbing against her and the tension in me was unbearable. I was impossibly hard. I was building up to something. I held onto Bella's hips tightly. A huge bump on the road sent me over the edge. I lost all reason and all coherent thought. The pleasure was unbearable I lost track of time and place and screamed with my release and felt myself flying through the air and finally landing on the forest floor. It took me a few moments to come back to reality. I felt moisture in my underwear and an incredible sense of peace and tranquility. Then realization struck. I had had my first orgasm and…..and….fallen off Bella's bike in my ecstasy. I was so embarrassed. I was sure Bella would have noticed. I covered my face with my hands.

I felt someone shake me and opened my eyes to see Bella's face staring at me in concern. I felt so vulnerable looking up into her eyes. I had just had the most mind blowing experience of my life and I had shared it with my Bella… I just wished I could tell her what happened to me and how much she meant to me. I loved her so much. In that one moment I saw something in her eyes and I think she saw through me too. It was as if we shared some deep understanding.

"Edward are you hurt? You fell off the bike. I know vampires are not that breakable but you look sort of weird."

She started running her hands all over me to check whether I was hurt. Oh no…..not again. Edward junior quickly picked up on what was happening and was ready for the second round. I tried to get up but I felt dizzy. I realized that I wasn't that steady to get up on my feet. I guess it was the after effects of the… ..the release. I was too ashamed to even admit it a second time. By now Bella was stroking my hair and hugged me to her. My face was nestled on her soft chest. Her warm breasts were pressed against my face and I could inhale her scent. I had lain countless amounts of times against Bella but not this closely to her soft breasts. So I never had the reaction that I had at that moment. Once again I was very aroused. I took a deep breath to try to calm myself but it had the opposite effect I felt the tension building up again and I lost complete control. I shook with my second release right in Bella's arms. I was moaning out aloud this time.

As I came down from my high I heard Bella's worried voice.

"Edward are you crying?"

Only if I could; I would cry with happiness and also shame. Bella didn't seem to notice the wetness in my underwear and I was glad for it. I quickly looked down to check whether a stain was visible. There was nothing visible except for the half aroused bulge caused by Edward junior. He didn't seem to be satisfied even after two mind blowing releases. I felt glad that no wet patch was visible and was about to heave a sigh of relief when it struck me. The moisture wasn't seeping out because I was wearing extra underwear; three pairs to be exact, which had been provided by my kind sister.

I froze in my mortification. Alice had seen me go over the edge. I'm sure she would have seen exactly how it happened too. I was never going to go back to that house again. I just couldn't face the little pixie. This was beyond embarrassing. I know she didn't do anything on purpose but only tried to protect my modesty by providing extra underwear but I couldn't even wrap my mind around the whole thing. My Victorian upbringing meant that we didn't talk about anything sexual openly specially with females. Definitely not sisters, I had always managed to skirt around the topic whenever it came up in our household.

Bella touched my face, which broke my concentration on my utter humiliation in the hands of my own sister. I stared at my Bella. If I could have blushed I would have blushed all over. I don't know what I looked like. I was embarrassed, filled with lust and also ecstatic all at the same time.

"Are you alright Edward? You look… hungry? Your eyes are black. Didn't you go hunting?"

If only you knew what I was hungry for right now. I thought to myself as I cuddled recklessly against my Bella. If I was going to hell I might as well do it in style I thought to myself.

"No Bella I'm not hungry. I'm just excited to have ridden with you."

I was as truthful as I could be in consideration of the promise I made to myself that I would try not to lie to Bella again.

"It was great wasn't it? Such a rush."

Well it's not my fault that she thought it was the motor bike ride… mmm and not the ride I meant….

"Yes sure it was the ride of my life."

It was then that I realized that the exact same words were spoken by a very scheming little pixie not so long ago. No wonder she sang in Arabic.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it that much, come on let's go again."

Let's go again….oh the magical words. I would my Bella… I would… if I could possibly get away with it and keep your innocence on the subject intact. Three pairs of underwear two mmm….. releases….. one more would surely mean disaster. Unless of course I got her to ride behind me… that was a good idea. I didn't want to abandon her when she looked so excited about riding with me again; if she only knew.

"Bella will you let me drive? I have not driven a motor bike in ages."

Well not since 1976 to be exact that is.

"Sure, sure." That was the second time she used the word twice. What was with her and the funny accent when she said 'sure, sure.'

So I got in front with Bella pressing against me. I didn't count on the sensation of her breasts against my back or her arms around my chest. Someone else took very pleasurable notice of it. Oh not again. Edward junior had me again. This is going to be a disaster. I drove very slowly. I didn't want to make any jerky movements. But all was in vain. I felt the pressure build up again and quickly braked and stopped when the pleasure hit me again. When I came back to earth I glanced down and noticed that just as my calculations had told me I was out of luck this time. There was a huge patch on the front of my jeans. I tried to hide it by leaning toward the front of the motor bike handles.

"Edward what's wrong? You stopped so abruptly. Hey, you are shaking again. I think something is seriously wrong with you."

She put her hands around my shoulders and pressed into me leaning into see my face. The movement made her hands slip down and brush against my nipples through my T-shirt at the same time her scent overwhelmed me with her nearness. That was my undoing I felt the pressure coiling yet again and I was off to heaven and hell again. Both of us shook with the force of my release this time.

"Edward… Edward…. I … I think you are sick… shall I call Alice?"

That made me finally find my voice.

"No..n.. no. Pl…Please don't please. J.. Just give me a minute I'm fine. Just wait."

I was still leaning on the handles, hiding my embarrassment with Bella holding on to my waist. How on earth was I going to get out of this mess? I should have listened to my senses and got out of here after the second round hit while I was still safe. I could wait till the whole thing dried to get off the bike. That could take until tomorrow. God! What am I going to do? Well I could always hope that Bella doesn't notice and get down and walk away. But she was very observant at times and I couldn't risk it. She even noticed the difference in my eyes. I hoped she didn't notice my eyes had turned golden again. I closed my eyes and decided to not look at her directly and conduct my conversations while looking at the ground.

"Edward…. Something is wrong…I can feel it. Is there anything I can do?"

"No… no… just hold on"

I needed more time to come up with a plan. Just then I noticed my savior; the lid of the petrol tank in the bike. That's it. I can pretend it got loose and I got some of the petrol on me. I had to distract Bella while I got the lid open and put some petrol on me so that it looked authentic.

"Bella could you get that stick over there for me please? I think something is stuck in the tank."

Bella got down and walked towards the stick I pointed. I quickly opened the tank and rubbed the lid against me. When she turned with the stick I pretended to curse to myself about spilling petrol and took the stick from her and jabbed it into the tank to show I did indeed need the stick to dislodge something. I only hoped that Bella was as ignorant about engines as before and that the dog hadn't taught her.

"Is it ok now Edward?"

"Yes I think so. But I think we should stop for today. We can go riding again some other day." This was happy news to someone I know resting below my belt. Well now 'awake' I might add.

"Ok. Thanks. I'll have Jake look at it"

I seriously hoped that the dog did not know the difference between the smell of normal vampire and the smell of ahem…. certain vampire secretions. I had rubbed the lid against me and it would surely hold the scent.

"Bella you drive, I'll run along side you until you get to the boarder. I think it's best not to put too much strain on the engine right now."

Bella nodded as she got on to the motor bike and started the engine.

There was no way in hell I was getting on that pleasure machine disguised as an innocent motor bike again. It was more potent than any of the toys they sell in so called shops to bring people pleasure. I was never going to take motor bikes lightly, ever again. May be I should get myself one. That's an idea, with an engine that roared and gave out vibration. What am I thinking? I'm turning into a sex crazed maniac. Was there a possibility that a vampire could go mad? I was thinking all this while I ran with Bella.

When I got to the boarder I waved and took off in the direction of our house. It was only then that I realized that everyone at home was going to smell me. I decided the only thing I can do at the moment was to try to wash it off. I first decided to bury my underwear. They were going to stink the most. I quickly took them off and jumped into the river. I washed my jeans and then buried the offending under garments. I then sniffed myself, I could still smell it on me but more faintly than before. Well this is the best I could do. I got out of the river and started walking towards the house following our usual path when I came across a backpack with a note on top that read.

"Edward, unforeseen circumstances have lead me to ….ah.. alter your wardrobe for the second time today, hence the new clothing. Put everything else into the sealable plastic bag I have provided so that you can wash them later. Make sure you get everything in the sealed bag…Emmett loves digging if he smells anything funny. Love, Alice."

I held the parcel to my chest. I was speechless. This was not happening. Oh dear…lord as if the first humiliation was not enough.

But I had no choice she was offering me a less embarrassing way out of this. At least hopefully it would only be between the two of us. The others I hoped would remain ignorant. I quickly dipped into the river again and washed myself. She had even included scented body wash in her care package. Great! I dried myself and put the new clothes on. I dug up the unmentionables, washed everything in the river water and sealed it along with the rest of my clothing. I put it in the back pack Alice provided and slowly made my way to the house. I quickly scanned everyone's minds and felt reassured when everything seemed normal. Alice was missing. I was glad. I quickly ran up to my room and hid my clothes. I would wash them later. Bella was supposed to spend the rest of the day at the reservation so I was officially off guard duty. I had just lain down on my bed to think through everything that happened to me when the little pixie barged into the room. She was giggling.

I did the only thing I could think of, I covered my face with my hands and hid under the covers. I had not done that since the day I was caught with my hand in the cookie jar when I was a little boy. I simply could not face her.

She didn't go away and she pulled at the covers laughing. Asking me questions in her mind.

_How was it? Did you enjoy it? I loved the part where you fell of the bike. _

She clapped her hands in her excitement. I'm never going to live this down.

_I'm so happy. Finally you know what you have been missing all this time. Jasper will be relieved. He had a very difficult time coping with all the pent up lust inside you. Don't get me wrong it's not that I didn't enjoy it but I wanted it to be born out of his need for me and not your need for Bella. Her thoughts went to the fun time she had relieving Jaspers need. Information I did not need. _

"Ah.. Alice stop. I don't want to know the details of you ah.. helping out Jasper."

_But this is so special you should tell the family. They will be so happy for you. _

If I have my way the family was never going to know about this incident ever. I decided then and there that I should try to persuade Alice to keep this a secret. I remembered that she loved the yellow Porsche she had stolen in Italy. I had already decided to get it for her for Christmas. I thought it best to give it to her now if she promised to never tell anyone about this. I knew she would see it when I made the decision and that I didn't need to say it out loud since everyone would hear me if I spoke.

She jumped up in joy and hugged me hard to her through the covers.

_Oh Edward thank you so much. Please get one in Canary Yellow like the one I stole. I loved the colour. I promise I will never ever tell anyone. _

I heaved a sigh of relief. But I still refused to come out of the covers. And after awhile Alice left the room when she found that I was not going to budge from my place for some time. She didn't want to anger me and she wanted to make sure I got her the present. But I knew I hadn't heard the last of it. Her curiosity about how I felt would not let her give this a rest until I told her. She wasn't a pervert she was just a very curious little pixie who wanted my happiness above everything. Well she also wanted to know the details on how I got to be so happy too. Oh god… This is a conversation that I will not have….no.. no way.

_Hey I will get it out of you. You wait and see…_I heard the little pixie's laughter all the way from the living room. I was doomed.

I thought about everything that happened to me today. How Edward junior had taken control as I lost all coherent thought. Wait… what did I just call my …oh no….. I've named it. I have named a body part. This is getting too embarrassing for words. I tried to analyse my feelings and rationalize my behaviour trying to make sense of the crazy person I was becoming. I thought back to the psychology course I had taken. I remembered reading some where that some people did this type of thing to distance themselves from things they did that they knew was wrong which they blamed on their own body parts. It was done by children in particular for example; it was my hand that hit Robert not me. I had got to the point of blaming Edward junior for everything, when in fact all of it was my doing. A hundred something old vampire and his junior buddy both partners in crime. I started laughing hysterically. This was not happening to me….

_**Please review and tell me what you think about this chapter? **_


	8. Chapter 8 Perception

_**Please read chapter 7 if you haven't read it already before you read this chapter. **_

_**Hope you enjoy. **_

**Bella's POV**

My pen was missing. Not again. What is happening to all my stuff? Then I remembered Edward Cullen had borrowed my pen. Was it today? Or was it yesterday? Well I did give him a pen today during English. Then he got some of my pencils as well if I can remember correctly. Come to think of it he has been borrowing a lot of stuff from me. But wait….I still have most of my stuff. Oh this is so confusing. May be he returned them to me. But I don't remember. I was too exhausted to keep worrying about it. I had better things to do. Where was I oh the stupid pen! I went into Charlie's room and got his pen. This would have to do until I can get a new one.

When I returned to my room I found all three pens I thought had gone missing on my table along with the pencils. This is strange. Well never mind. I went and returned Charlie's pen and got back to work. I had so much to do. I hadn't scrubbed the floor in the kitchen for two whole days. It was more than 24 hours since I vacuumed the living room. I should also cook something for dinner. Charlie would be here in another two hours. Keeping my self occupied was the key to survival. I was sorry that I couldn't go to the reservation today because of all the home work. But I was going to spend the whole day there on Saturday and Sunday.

There was no news of Victoria. Jake told me she had not returned since the day I went cliff diving.

Saturday was a glorious day but it was cloudy as usual. I was so happy to finally ride my bike again. The wind in my hair and the speed were all exhilarating. I loved every minute of it. I met Edward Cullen at the boarder. I was happy to take him on a ride. After all he was the one who made me a speed junkie. I knew something was wrong with Cullen the moment I turned into the dirt road. He was shaking throughout the ride. Then he stammered. I have never seen a vampire stammer. Well except for Emmett and his jokes. Was he afraid of the ride? I didn't think so. He loved speed and he knew for sure that there was no danger of an accident with him riding the bike with me. Then he fell off the bike! Edward Cullen actually lost his grip and fell off! He let out a scream like no other when he fell. It was a mix between exhilaration and something else I couldn't put my finger on. I couldn't believe it.

The shock in his face and the subsequent embarrassment was not faked as he buried his face in his hands. I knew him well enough to know that this emotion was real. Something in his eyes was also off. I was sure they were golden when he got on the bike. But when I looked at him after he fell down they were black smoldering orbs. I had never seen that depth of intensity in them and there was a hunger that I couldn't comprehend. He also looked lost and out of his element which was a first for Cullen. I felt some deep emotion within me as if some how we were connected.

For the first time since I've known him, Edward Cullen looked vulnerable. A feeling of protectiveness came over me. I automatically held him to me to provide him with comfort. He took a deep calming breath and then to my utter amazement started shaking again and started moaning. I have never heard him make that sound before. An electric jolt went through me when he jerked against me grabbing hold of me while he let out another one of those incredible sounds. It was some how unearthly. I shivered. He had never looked so beautiful..as at that moment. His eyes and face….his lips partly open moaning out my name I couldn't tell whether it was in pain or pleasure. It was some how unreal. It was like a helpless plea. I held him close worried about him.

His next actions were equally mysterious. I offered to call Alice but he refused with vigor. Although I was worried I was also scared at the intensity of his refusal. He was hiding something. Then after a while he got up and said he wanted to drive the bike. That I could understand; most guys loved to have actual control of the bike but I was sure this was not why Cullen wanted to drive.

I was sure he enjoyed riding in the back. He had actually moaned aloud! And I knew it was one of pleasure. My hunch was confirmed that it was not speed prompting him to drive when he started going very slowly. I had never seen him drive so slowly. In fact I had never driven that slowly after the first week of getting used to the bike. This was getting ridiculous. Then he suddenly stopped. I slammed into his back and he shook against me, letting out another one of those sounds. This was getting weird.

The final mystery was the huge stain on his trouser. I saw it when I bent to pick up the stick he wanted. I then knew that the whole stick thing was an attempt to keep me from noticing it. Had he peed in his pants? But vampires don't pee. Then to top it all he was insinuating that something was wrong with the engine! That was a really big lie. I have a fairly good understanding of engines thanks to Jake.

I have watched him repair our bikes and then his car during the countless number of hours I spent with him in the garage. I was more like his apprentice now and I helped him with the repairs. He built most of the stuff from scratch so my understanding of the workings inside was not superficial but very practical. I knew for sure the bike was in perfect working condition; I had checked it myself that morning. But I pretended to believe him. Whatever it was I was sure it was very important to Edward Cullen that I didn't notice that stain. Yes. Something was definitely wrong with him. I thought of talking to Alice about it but decided against it. He had flatly refused my first offer and after all it was none of my business. He had his whole family to take care of him if something was wrong. I only had Charlie and Renee and I have caused them so much distress over me already.

I was not going to let anything interfere with my goal of making them happy. My only focus now was to get a full scholarship to one of the best colleges in the states. I knew Charlie and Renee didn't have enough money to sponsor me, although Charlie had been insisting that I should use his retirement fund for my education. I will not do that to him. I will make sure I get the scholarship and take care of him when he no longer can. That was my plan and I was almost there.

I was making good progress with my grades and now I had a great wardrobe for college. Alice had made sure that my closet was colour coordinated so that I didn't need to bother matching stuff. This was a relief. I hate having to focus on superficial things like cloths when I had more important things to do like study. I would also need to look presentable when I go for interviews for admission and while attending college. I was aware that my fashion sense was not that winning. However, I made sure that I made the final decisions on what I got. She wanted me to buy several mini skirts and I refused them. They were not my style and I will never let anyone have the power to decide on my future again. That includes my wardrobe selections. As long as Alice stuck to the ones that I approved I was fine with her selections. But I didn't allow her to go overboard. I had paid for all my purchases. I had enough money saved from working at Newton's.

I have started to think with my head and locked away my emotions. They had brought me enough trouble in the past and almost destroyed me. So I was never again going to get emotionally involved in things. I could tell I had done a good job of it too. I was very good at blocking things out of my mind and locking away unhappy memories. I no longer felt anything much about what was happening around me. I completely ignored things that I knew might get an emotional response from me. I will never allow myself to be dependent on another person for my happiness ever again.


	9. Chapter 9 Embarrassment

**Please note that things written in italics are thoughts of others and they are not said aloud. It is through his mind reading skills that Edwards hears them.**

**Edward's POV**

It was sunny outside and I was trapped inside. It was Sunday. I had nothing much to do. I had gone hunting yesterday night and just got back. Bella was spending the day again at the reservation with the dog. Jealously struck me, but I was helpless to do anything about it. I just hoped yesterday meant something to Bella as well and she would open up more to me. I had shared a very intimate moment with her even if she didn't know about it. When she looked into my eyes when I first fell off the bike I felt she understood me at some deeper level. It was as if she read my very soul. Yes I had a soul. I had admitted it to myself when Bella hugged me in Volttera. Such an angel would have not loved a soulless demon of that I was sure.

I sat on the sofa in the living room thinking of all the lovely memories from yesterday. Alice had not brought it up again. So I was not in any trouble at the moment. I will have to come up with things to distract the little pixie when she brought it up again, other than that I had no worries. Emmett and Jasper were playing a video game and Carlisle was reading a medical journal. Rosalie was out shopping. Jasper had given me a strange look yesterday. Then asked me how I was so clam. I said the first thing that came to my mind. I told him I had started meditating. He looked very confused but left it at that. I was sure he could feel the difference in my emotions after the release. I was in fact feeling very peaceful and happy. The tension in my body that was my constant companion for the past 90 years or so was gone. Well I was calm until Alice screamed from upstairs.

"Esme no. Don't open it. Edward….."

"_I'm so sorry Edward she just decided to do laundry, opened your closet and took the bag out and opened it before I could get here. Why didn't you wash it yesterday? Do I have to do your laundry too?"_

When I arrived upstairs the little pixie was scolding me while running around the room spraying a very strong air freshener. "_You owe me big my brother; may be a nice dress to go with the car from Paris."_ I nodded my head at her. The air freshener was over powering the smell of … the clothes from yesterday in the plastic bag.

I quickly grabbed the plastic bag out of Esme's hands and just managed to seal it and throw it back into the wardrobe when Emmett and Jasper burst in to find out what all the commotion was about.

Esme looked surprised by my actions. Then a slow smile spread across her lips. She hugged me tightly to her and whispered.

"Oh! My son has finally grown up. I'm so happy for you." She hugged me to her.

Oh god no! This was not happening. She had figured it out. Of course she smelt it. I was an idiot for forgetting to wash it yesterday. It was my fault. I had been day dreaming about Bella the whole day. I was embarrassed beyond words. I hid my face in her hair. I couldn't face her.

"What? How had Edward grown up? He looks the same to me." Emmett asked.

Esme was about to explain when I managed stop her.

"Please mom, don't say anything more."

"Of course Edward; it's just I'm so proud. I've waited so long for this." "_You have to tell me how this happened. Did you and Bella…?"_ I nodded no still buried in her curls.

"_Then did you…. I mean by yourself?"_ I shook my head no for that also. This was getting humiliating. Boys of my era were not even supposed to touch ourselves there other than to wash. My birth father had told me that it was a sin and I could go to hell for it and I believed him. Even though the attitude towards this type of thing changed over the past 100 years I still believed that it was shameful to pleasure yourself. So I have never once given into any of my urges. She was confused now. "_You have to tell me how this happened." _

Oh no… I did not want to go there, not if I can help it; not with Esme my mom for crying out loud.

"_After all these years; Carlisle will be so happy. He had always worried he changed you too soon while you were still a child. We even worried whether you were gay and felt shy admitting it to us. You are not gay right?"_ WHAT?

"No mom definitely not." I was now horrified. _"I have to talk to Carlisle. Put his mind at rest at last. He has blamed himself for so long for your unhappiness."_

I groaned in resignation. She's sure to tell Carlisle. At least he won't make fun of me for it. I hoped not. The circumstances were very unusual and very, very humiliating.

"So long for what? To hug Edward? You do it all the time mom." Good. Emmett was still clueless.

I glanced at Jasper hoping he was still as ignorant as Emmett. He winked at me… .he winked? I was doomed he figured it out too! He was about to speak when I faintly nodded no at him. He understood but gave me a big grin. "_Now I know why you were so calm and peaceful Edward. Most of the sexual tension you were habouring has gone. Was it good? Hope you do it again soon. I can feel the tension building up again." _

Why did my family want to know so much about this? This was really and truly embarrassing. This household was crazy. I know there were no secrets in the family. But I had always respected and tried my best to give them some privacy when it came to this type of thing. Although I knew most of it thanks to my gift. I never talked about any of their sexual exploits openly with them. Not that one could actually talk about the bizarre things they did.

Carlisle walked in at that moment.

He looked at Esme who was beaming, Alice who was giggling and Jasper who was giving me a wicked smile. At least Emmett still looked bewildered and he was the one who teased me the most. That was a relief.

Carlisle looked at Esme for an explanation.

"It has happened. The moment we were waiting for so long. Remember what we talked about when Bella…"

Just then a huge smile of victory spread across Carlisle's face. It was uncanny how he knew exactly what Esme wanted to say. They had always been able to finish each others sentences. I was never so glad about that ability than at this moment. At least she didn't need to complete her sentence and give Emmet more clues. I have never seen him so relieved. He shook my hand and gave me a pat on my shoulder. I groaned. This definitely was not happening.

"Well done Edward. How did it happen?"

I gave him a desperate look.

He nodded in understanding. _"You have to tell me how you managed to do it. I thought it was almost impossible to make love to a human girl. But I won't be surprised if you did it, with your control you can do anything."_

I looked up at him in surprise. He thought I made love to Bella…oh no. I was about to shake my head and tell him no again when I decided it would be best if I gave him some kind of an explanation before he drew anymore conclusions.

I managed a meek "I'll explain later."

"Ok. Edward." _"I'll be looking forward to our discussion. I'm going back down. May be those legends were true."_ And with that thankfully one family member left.

"Explain what later?" Emmett was confused.

"Oh Edward went on a date with Bella." It was Alice to the rescue again.

Emmett smiled and gave me a big hug. But then he looked puzzled.

"But why was Esme waiting so long for it? And what is there to explain about the date? Carlisle never wanted to know about Edward's dates. In fact Edward went on so many dates with Bella. He was not interested in any of them."

"Edward is doing a psychiatric evaluation on how Bella is coping after facing the Volturi." Alice was getting really good at this covering up thing.

"Oh ok. Now I understand. Well good luck with the evaluation Edward."

Rosalie walked in just then. Not another one.

"What evaluation? Why is everyone standing around in your room Edward? What's going on? And why have you sprayed so much air freshener? I can hardly breathe."

"Oh, I'm just doing an experiment of my own trying to find out how many of you noticed the over powering smell." Alice responded without a pause. She really was good. May be she should go into undercover spying or something. I smiled at her. _"A new pair of shoes to go with the dress would be nice Edward."_ I nodded ok to Alice again.

This would have been a sufficient explanation if not for the fact that Esme and Jasper both burst out laughing. Alice and I couldn't help joining in. Even in my embarrassment I just realized how ridiculous this whole fiasco with the clothes bag was turning out to be.

It was Rosalie's turn to grimace. She turned to Emmett and asked.

"I don't buy this. What is really going on?"

"Oh it's just that Edward has gone on a date with Bella and he's doing some sort of an evaluation and Alice is helping with the air freshener." We all laughed harder. Emmett just unwittingly managed to link the two lies and make a more believable explanation. It was more believable because of my problems with Bella's scent. I read it in Rosalie's mind that she was thinking along the same lines.

"What evaluation? And what has that got to do with the air freshener? Oh! Never mind. I have better things to do than standing here. I have some dresses to show you are you coming Alice?"

That was the only invitation the pixie needed she went out as well. _"Don't forget the shoes". _I was glad the discussion was almost over. At this rate if I didn't have money to spare I would soon become bankrupt; a car, a dress and now new shoes. What else? But then again I owe her it was her predictions on the stock market that made my investments more profitable. I gave Jasper a pleading look.

"Emmett let's go play the rest of the game." Jasper grabbed Emmett who was just about to raise another confused question and walked out the door. _"You owe me Edward."_ Jasper threw at me in his mind before he left. Now it was just Esme and me. I was still in her arms. I hid my face in her curls again.

"_Edward, you should know how proud and happy I am. Don't be shy you can always talk to me or Carlisle about anything that puzzles you. Guess you don't really need our advice since you can read our minds. For a moment there I forgot about it. Well now you can put all the expertise you have gained on the subject from mind reading into practice. I'm still curious as to how this could have happened if you didn't sleep with Bella and you didn't pleasure yourself. I know human boys have wet dreams. But you can't sleep. You can tell me all about it later._"

I was horrified. I simply couldn't believe I was having this conversation with my mom. I was glad that at least she was not saying it out loud. She gave me a tight hug and released me.

Before I realized what was happening to my utter mortification she opened my closet and took out the parcel along with all the other laundry.

"_It's ok Edward. I think you should get rid of the smell as soon as you can before Rosalie or Emmett get a whiff of it. I'll wash it for you right now. Don't worry." _

With that she patted my cheek and walked out. In my shock I wasn't even able to grab the bag back from her. I just stood there dumbstruck. Did she just take my… unmentionables with the obvious scent of my pleasure in them to wash; my mother? I climbed under the covers of the bed again and decided to pretend that this was all a dream.

**Please please review. I'm only getting one or two reviews and I don't really know whether you like this story or not or whether I should continue with it. Please let me know what you think. **


	10. Chapter 10 The Argument

**Edward's POV**

Finally, it was Monday morning and I will be able to talk to my Bella again. I was excited and also very scared. I was hoping that now that we went on a sort of a date she would talk to me more. I looked at Alice for confirmation. But she looked confused. I realized she couldn't see Bella clearly again.

I had been very anxious yesterday afternoon. I had got the same feeling I got when my Bella went missing in Port Angeles. But I had been helpless. She had been at the reservation with the dog and I could not break the treaty by crossing the line to see how she was doing. Alice didn't see any danger from Victoria either. When I got to her house in the night it was in total darkness. The police cruiser wasn't there and neither was her truck. I had gone around the house and her scent had been very light as if she had not returned since morning.

I had waited till midnight but she had not come home. Charlie would have been working the night shift. I had thought of calling the dog to see whether she was still with him. Then I realized she could be spending the night with him. They seemed very close. The thought that she might be intimate with him had made the hole in my heart grow wider and I had felt a piercing pain in the middle of my chest. My Bella… belonging to another in that way.. I couldn't bear the thought. I knew she was a virgin when she was with me. She had told me that. I knew she had been hoping I would be intimate with her. I had not seen anyway to do that at the time so I had not pursued the topic again. I also had to admit that she might be in a stronger relationship with the dog than I thought after all he had openly admitted to me that he was in love with her. Was she in love with him too? I shoved the thought aside before I could break down and rushed home.

Emmett's teasing was better than the pain and he had been incessantly teasing me since Saturday. Although he was still in the dark about what actually happened he knew it had something to do with Bella. The fact that I went out with Bella was enough for him to make crude comments which of course found their mark since I had actually experienced some of it. Specially his comment on,

"Did little Eddie say hi to Bella?" got to me.

Alice had burst out laughing at that and I had thrown a pillow at her and punched Emmett on his face. He had looked bewildered at my reaction since I had not responded to any of his other even more worse comments. He had been right on target and his nick name had been so similar to the one that I had used on my…how disgusting.

Luckily Carlisle and Esme had gone hunting so I escaped further conversation on the topic with them. Jasper had continued to make snide comments encouraging Emmett while Rosalie just ignored the whole thing. I was so glad to be away from them in school today.

Alice and I waited in the parking lot for Bella for some time but went to our classes when the bell rang. I had my first lesson with my Bella so I waited eagerly for her to join me in the class room. It was in the middle of the session that I heard Alice outside in the corridor.

"_Edward she's in hospital she has had an accident."_

My worst nightmare was coming to life. I rushed out of the class to Alice.

"_I can see her with a bandage and some kind of contraption in her right wrist. The dog must have been with her all this time that was the reason I didn't see her. I'm so sorry."_

We rushed out of the school and I made a frantic call to Carlisle to check up on Bella and to make our excuses at school.

When we got to her room Bella was laying in her bed with her right arm in an adjustable cast. She looked pale. Her eyes were still empty and they looked at us in surprise when we entered.

**Bella's POV**

I was back in hospital. Oh well what's new? I was only worried about my hand. This time I had broken the wrist of my right hand and I wouldn't be able to write for some time with it. I was wondering how I would manage at school. I was so close to obtaining my goal of getting a full scholarship! Oh! I feel so mad at myself for being so careless. Stupid! It was so stupid! I should have thought twice about the whole cliff diving thing. The tide was low and the sea was very clam. The weather was really nice for a change. I never dreamed I would hit my hand on my way down from the cliff on a branch hanging out from the cliff face!

I had had a lovely time yesterday. Jake and I went riding in the morning and I had been able to persuade him to take me cliff diving in the afternoon. He wouldn't let me jump from the very top but he let me jump from the halfway point. It was so exciting. Such a rush! But I had noticed something was different. Edward's warning voice was not there. I didn't really miss it in all my excitement. Come to think of it I haven't heard his voice warning me off for some time. To be exact I hadn't heard it since his return. I wonder why? I remembered his face from Saturday, looking at me with smoldering black eyes. Something was definitely wrong with him too. Well anyway, no point worrying. I had better things to do. I had to figure out how I was going to get my school work done. Jake had just left. I was alone in the room. There was a slight knock on the door and when I called enter wondering who it could be since I wasn't expecting Charlie till his shift ended to my surprise the Cullen's walked in.

**Alice's POV**

I felt so useless. I should have been able to see Bella and prevent this from happening. We were in Bella's room and she was laying with her arm bandaged the same way my vision showed. I hugged her and started apologizing to her for not seeing this happen.

"Come on Alice you couldn't have helped me. My decision to jump off the cliff the fourth time was a split second one and you couldn't have caught me mid air could you?" And she smiled.

Edward and I stared at her in shock.

I heard myself shriek "Cliff diving?" before Edward burst out.

"What do you mean you went cliff diving? Are you crazy? Specially, after what happened the last time?"

"Jake was with me and we just jumped from the half way point he wouldn't hear of jumping from the top till I got a hang of things. Oh! You should have been there. The view was magnificent and the air ripping…"

Edward cut her off mid sentence.

"That dog should have never allowed you to go cliff jumping. This is all his fault! I would have never let you do anything so reckless. I'm going to tear him limb for limb."

At this Bella screamed at him. Her eyes were finally alive with fury. It was a shock to see so much emotion from someone who had had a blank stare for the past couple of weeks.

"Excuse me Cullen? What did you say?"

"I said I would never have allowed you to go cliff diving again." Edward said back with equal anger. This was interesting to watch.

"And who are you to allow me anything? I make my own decisions. The last time I trusted someone to make decisions for me it nearly destroyed me."

Edward flinched at that but continued.

"Bella, you have to see that this was a foolish thing to do. You are not going cliff diving again."

"Cullen, I will not have anyone decide what I do or don't do."

I giggled. I just couldn't help it. The look on Edward's face was priceless. Then Bella looked at me.

"That includes you Alice." That took the smile off my face for sure.

"If you want to remain friends with me you have to accept that I make my own decisions. No one, not even Charlie is going to interfere with them. If you are not happy with that you can get the hell out of here and I never want to see you again."

Edward just stood there staring at her in horror. I could see that he didn't expect this kind of a response from the sweet girl who had agreed with everything he said during their relationship.

I took hold of Bella's left hand to apologise to her.

"Bella, I am sorry if I tried to make any decisions for you. I promise you, I will not try to buy you anything you don't want from now on"

"Oh, Alice don't worry. I know you always mean well. And you are more understanding than the other Cullen over there. I left the stuff I didn't like and you didn't put up a fight remember?" She gave me a small smile.

I had to smile at the mention of 'the other Cullen'. This was so funny. She didn't even want to say his name! Just then I got a vision of Edward holding Bella's injured arm while she slept and decided to give them some privacy to sort through their disagreement.

"I'd better go and check up with Carlisle when you can go home." I nodded at Edward on my way out. I decided I had to tell him what I thought.

_"Edward,_ _I think you should stop trying to control her. If you become too overbearing she might decide to cut you off from even being friends with her. I don't know what sort of an emotional state she is in right now, but I know for sure she has a very strong will power. Her grades and her endurance after we left shows that. She had been very strong in the face of so much heart break and threats to her life from Victoria. You know how stubborn she is, don't you? And when she makes a decision she will stick with it no matter what. So just be careful. All your charm might not be enough to win her back."_

I just realized that Edward really was not that used to being in a romantic relationship. He knew all about family but this was his first real relationship with the opposite sex. He has always been controlling and overbearing with us but we were family and understood him. We had relied heavily on his judgment because of his mind reading ability. I think we had unknowingly let him make many decisions for us. He had always been correct in his assessments and made the decisions to move when things got too obvious and he felt our cover might blow. However, he could not read Bella's mind and he did not really understand that two people had to share in equally for a relationship to succeed.

I guess I will have to have an open discussion with him about this soon. Last time they were together Bella was willing to let him make all the decisions in their relationship. We also let him dictate what to do about Bella. We had decided to leave because he asked us to. I should never have let him make that decision for the whole family. We should have stayed back to support Bella and let him leave. I once again felt the heart wrenching pain I went through leaving my best friend. I vowed to myself that I will never leave Bella even if her relationship with Edward didn't work out. I also felt proud of her for standing up to him and for being assertive. This is how she should have handled their relationship from the beginning. Edward would never have been able to make such a drastic decision in the first place if she had more control over the decisions concerning their relationship.

_**Well what do you think will happen now? Will Bella and Edward sort their differences? Tell me what you think. Do keep reading the best chapters are next :) with a bit of smut. **_


	11. Chapter 11 Aftermath

**Bella's POV **

I felt something cold touch my injured hand. An electric shock ran down my arm at the same time the throbbing pain I had been feeling on my wrist lessened. Edward was holding my hand. He was holding one hand under my wrist and the other was stroking me on top. I didn't dare open my eyes. I pretended to still be asleep. I was thankful for my ability to regulate my heartbeat at will. I had learned to do that to make myself clam down whenever I had breakdowns during my worst days. He thought I was sleeping. I decided I will remain sleeping until sleep really overtook me or he left. For now I wasn't about to take my hand away from him when it really soothed the pain, after all why should I hurt myself when I had a perfectly good way of getting the pain lessened. I was not a masochist.

Edward had tried to apologise and talk with me when Alice left. I was not in a state of mind to talk to him. I was really mad at myself for loosing my temper. I had not lost it for a very long time. I didn't like it that I felt emotion so strongly. I regretted it. I didn't want to start feeling again. The only thing I didn't regret is what I said. I had made everyone aware of what I wanted and how I was going to go about it. No one was ever going to take control of my life again. I had nothing more to say on the subject and didn't want to have another emotional break down. I was happy the way things were and I didn't really want anything to change.

So I decided to simply pretend to fall asleep. I can tell that he bought it. I was becoming really good at acting. I was putting up a great show for Charlie's benefit at home. He knew something was amiss but he didn't find any fault so he didn't try to question me on it. I knew he didn't want me to go back to my misery so he accepted the way I was coping. But I could see that he still worried about me. I think he got a really good shock at the last parent teacher meeting when he saw my grades. I was about to smile at the memory when I remembered I was supposed to be sleeping! Oh shit.

Anyway, when Mr. Banner our class teacher handed out my report card to Charlie he took a good look at my grades and dropped it on the floor in his shock. 'Er… Mr. Banner…' he started to stammer I had a feeling he was about to ask whether they made some sort of a mistake. So I smiled the biggest brightest smile I could manage at him; he looked me in the eye and then did something very uncharacteristic of him. He stroked my hair and hugged me to him I could see tears simmering in his eyes. The feeling I got at that moment cannot be described in words. I felt so happy and proud. The subsequent meetings with the other teachers also went well. I felt that Charlie was a very happy man after a very long time. It was worth all the effort I had put into getting there. It was at that moment that I decided that I was going to do everything in my power to make him happy and get into a good university. I didn't think much of the future but I concentrated on what needed to be done at the moment to get through each day to reach my ultimate goal of taking care of him. That brought me to my present predicament my recklessness with the cliff diving was about to cost me and Charlie that future or at least delay it. I was feeling very sad about it.

Edward's cold hands were very soothing and I soon felt myself falling asleep. I didn't fight it. I would worry about my studies later. I must now concentrate on getting better.

**Edward's POV**

My Bella was asleep. She had fallen asleep in the middle of my apology. I couldn't believe it. As soon as Alice left she had closed her eyes. But I had continued with my speech thinking that she would respond. Soon after I heard the steady breathing that signaled sleep. How could she just fall asleep like that after the shouting match that ensued between us? I was flabbergasted. It was as if she just shut off like a light switch. She was magnificent in her anger. Her eyes fiery and her voice loud and clear; I longed to kiss those lips to make her stop shouting at me. The force of my need took me by surprise as well as her next words.

"_If you want to remain friends with me you have to accept that I make my own decisions. No one, not even Charlie is going to interfere with them. If you are not happy with that you can get the hell out of here and I never want to see you again." _

My sweet Bella had changed so much. Did I do this to her by my own selfishness? Yes. I had to admit it. All of my anger ebbed away at that thought and I had started on my apology, which was in vain since I seriously doubted whether she heard a word of it before falling asleep.

I slowly took her hand in mine I simply had to touch her. My need for her was too strong. I craved some kind of a physical contact. Her warm touch brought back memories of Saturday. She had felt so good pressed against me. Her sweet scent engulfing me…. How I longed to hug her tightly to my body every line of her body pressing against mine…. I would kiss her with all the passion I am capable of. Her soft breasts pressing against my chest, our bodies intimately connected. I felt my arousal at these thoughts. I lightly kissed my Bella's hand. I didn't dare kiss her on her lips as I longed to do. Would she kiss me back if I started kissing her very passionately? I remembered how urgently she responded to my advances those days. Her sweet lips….

I was pulled out of my day dream when Alice burst into the room and hurled one of Bella's pillows at me. I automatically caught it releasing Bella's hand to do so. Just then Charlie burst into the room.

"Young man, how dare you show your face in here? After all that you have done I don't want you hurting her again. She is barely putting her life back together and you barge in here as if you own her."

I was dumbstruck. I stood there frozen to the spot. Alice was looking scared. Charlie grabbed the pillow back from me purposefully.

"I suggest you leave now. I'm visiting with my daughter."

Charlie's voice had been very loud and I had heard a sudden change in Bella's breathing as if she was about to wake up but her heartbeat regulated again soon after.

Alice and I left quietly. I was surprised when Alice touched Charlie's arm and said,

"See you later Charlie."

"I'm sorry Edward. I didn't see him coming. He made a sudden decision to stop by the hospital while passing it to see her before he went home from his shift. I was in the other side of the hospital with Carlisle, and it took me time to get here at a human pace. I knew you had your phone on silent mode so as not to disturb Bella. At least I was in time to prevent him from seeing you holding her hand and the interesting development in your pants." She began to giggle at that.

Holy shit! She had seen it. Oh! Now I understood the pillow throwing. I had wondered why Alice would throw a pillow at me. I turned my head away from her, I couldn't look at her I was mortified.

"You should have seen your face when I threw the pillow at you when Charlie entered the room." She showed me her memory.

I couldn't help but burst out laughing. Alice joined me. I wasn't feeling that embarrassed anymore. In fact I was feeling more closer to the little pixie than I had ever felt before. I had known all of her deep intimate secrets of her escapades with Jasper for decades. I had thought nothing about how embarrassed she must have felt knowing her brother knew every detail. The last two weeks had seen a reversal of roles with her knowing as much about my intimate details as I knew about hers. She had always been more than a sister to me. In fact she was the best friend I had ever had. I never had any close male friends other than Carlisle and he was more like a father or an elder brother to me than a friend. My relationship with him had always been a very serious one. My brothers and I were very close but I was never able to open up to them about my inner feelings. I was scared they would make fun of me. As it was they already did at every opportunity they got.

But with Alice I had been able to be open about anything and everything except for the topic of male female intimacy. Not that I spoke with anyone about the topic. We knew almost everything about each other with our gifts it was impossible for us to keep secrets from the other. But we had always respected each others privacy. We had plotted and executed many devious plans against the family and other humans. Jasper and everyone else in the family knew how close we were. They also knew that although she was a girl and I a boy we never had any improper feelings for each other. The love I felt for the little pixie was very strong. I would give my life for her as she would for me. She had already demonstrated that when she came to save me from the Volturi. I think it was her love as well as my family's that kept me from understanding how much I missed the love of a mate.


	12. Chapter 12 The hard truth

**Edward's POV**

We were almost home when Alice asked me whether I would go hunting with her. Bella was supposed to stay in hospital till tomorrow. Carlisle had offered to work the night shift to keep an eye on Bella in case Victoria decided to make an appearance. I agreed and we started out almost immediately. We had hunted and were on our way back when Alice finally spoke to me.

"Edward I need to talk to you about something. I'm not sure you would be willing but I love you and want you to be happy. Will you let me openly discuss this with you?"

I couldn't imagine what she wanted to talk about but then I remembered about that bike ride. Oh no! not that. But she looked very serious and she was thinking about the argument with Bella rather than the bike ride.

"Sure Alice. You can talk to me about anything."

"Don't be angry Edward but I think the way you are trying to win Bella's love back is only pushing her away from you."

"What do you mean?"

"I think you should let Bella make her own decisions."

"But Alice she….. her decisions are so reckless! She goes on bike rides in that flimsy motor cycle! and now cliff diving! I can't imagine her doing that again after nearly loosing her life the last time! I don't know what else she had been doing. She should know better. She knows how uncoordinated she is."

"But it is not your place to show her this. She has to make her own mistakes and learn from it. Every human teenager goes through this…. The rebellious stage, where they experiment with stuff and they all learn from it. It's part of growing up. Even you went through it when you left Carlisle and Esme and went on your killing spree."

I flinched at her words but had to admit that she was speaking the truth.

"Edward your relationship with Bella has always been out of balance, first with you being a vampire and her being a human. But even if you were human your relationship would not have progressed that well."

I was surprised to hear this. Alice was a good judge of character and she knew how much Bella and I had both loved each other. I had always thought that if I was human I would have been able to lead a very happy family life with her.

"You had control over every aspect of your relationship. You decided what was good for her and the amount of intimacy you shared. She had no power to do anything. She was just a puppet rather than an equal participant. I'm sure she felt useless and worthless." The pixie was waving her hands to emphasize her point.

"But I have always treated Bella with so much respect and love. I never even touched her inappropriately." I was at a loss for words. How could I have ever made my Bella feel worthless?

"Did she want to be touched inappropriately Edward?" Alice was having her hands on her waist giving me that look.

Now this conversation was going some where I would rather it did not. But I wanted to know what Alice was getting at with all this. Although I felt awkward talking to my sister about this I remembered my earlier resolve, if she shared so much of herself with me I should be able to be comfortable sharing with her too. So I answered her truthfully.

"Yes. I think so."

"Think so? I think you knew. Even I could smell her arousal when you kissed or touched her."

Now this was embarrassing. No point hiding that she was right.

"Yes I knew."

"So what did you do about it?"

"I made sure things didn't progress to the extent that it got inappropriate or I lost control."

She was glaring at me now.

"And how did it work? The two of you were driving Jasper wild with your sexual frustration and I was the target Jasper used to release it. I did enjoy it but like I said before I would prefer it to be me who drove him there."

Now she had images of Jasper's frustration and how they released it in her head.

"Please Alice…." I couldn't look at her face I looked down scratching the back of my neck. This was mortifying for both of us. Usually she was better at controlling her thoughts around me but she must have forgotten with her agitation with me.

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to…." She understood immediately what I meant and focused on the hospital gown Bella was wearing. She thought that it could be made more fashionable. She was wondering whether to approach Carlisle about changing the hospital gowns.

"Oh come on Alice. They won't be practical if they become fashionable."

"But there has got to be a way. Bella's gown looked horrible."

I had to agree with her on that. It was a shapeless thing that hid her lovely figure.

"Well getting back to the topic, I think you were a very uncaring partner. You didn't satisfy your mate's needs and did not respect her wishes."

"WHAT? How can you say that Alice you know how easily I could loose control and kill her."

When I thought of it now I realized my feelings on the subject had changed a bit.

"But I guess given another opportunity I would.. I guess… like to be more close to her."

I admitted very shamefully. Alice's response took me by surprise.

She hugged me to her.

"Now you are getting it brother! You have to let your partner be an equal part in your relationship. You have to ask her what she wants before making decisions on your own about the two of you. I know you are older and more experienced than Bella but this is the first time you are in a relationship. Underneath everything you are also still a seventeen year old teenager with the needs of a seventeen year old. Bella's needs are similar. You have to be able to have the type of relationship that normal teenagers have."

I couldn't help remembering Mike Newton and Jessica. At least I knew the technicalities of pleasing a women better. Will I actually be able to please my Bella?... Oh this is so in appropriate. I glared at Alice for making me think these things about my Bella.

"Come on Edward! I know your love for her and her love for you those days went much deeper than normal teenagers but the physical needs remained the same. I think from now on you should try to listen to her and understand what she needs. Be there for her and show her how much you need her and love her. I have a feeling that one of the reasons Bella is pushing you away is because she thinks she will end up getting sexually rejected by you again. This must have been one of the reasons she believed you so easily when you said you didn't love or need her anymore."

Now that I think about it I remembered the hurt look on Bella's face every time I stopped her from kissing me deeper or getting more intimate. She was right!

"Oh Alice. How could I not have seen this?"

I sat on a nearby fallen tree and Alice sat next to me. I rested my head on her lap as I do with Esme and she stroked my hair. I closed my eyes and finally let myself relax. We had just hunted and I was not thirsty. It was comforting to be near her. I had messed up really badly with Bella and I didn't even know it. I was so glad I had my little pixie to help me through this.

"I want to share some memories with you Edward. If it gets uncomfortable for you please let me know. I want to show you how mates can share their love equally."

I nodded my head ok.

She showed me how she met Jasper again. I had seen this many times but she gave me a live commentary on what she thought and what they did the first few weeks. Jasper made sure to ask Alice whether she was ok with it when they did things. He could have easily known that Alice would see whatever he decided but he would still ask. Alice did the same with him. She had actually asked whether it was ok the first time she brought him cloths. He had requested from then on for her to purchase anything she thought he would like and told her he would immediately let her know if he didn't like anything. True to his word he had refused to wear an Elvis costume Alice had got him once. I remembered the incident and it brought a smile to my face. She had had the vision of him refusing but she had not been able to help herself. I could still remember the horrified look on Jasper's face!

The deepening of their intimacy was also done in stages when both of them felt comfortable with it. Alice had felt that Jasper wanted more from her and had asked him what he wanted even though she already knew. Jasper had been honest on where he wanted their relationship to progress but at the time Alice had not felt that confident to go all the way making love to him. She had made her wishes known to him and they had decided to take things in small steps. The love they had for each other and the need to mate was very evident in Alice's memories of her thoughts but they had both respected each others limits and had worked with them sharing uncertainties and pushing boundaries. I had always felt like an outsider when I came across them staring at each other in silent communication. I had never really thought much about it. But now I knew the importance of that communication.

"Have you ever shown Bella how much you want her?"

"Of course I have. I have told her so many times."

"I mean physically?"

"Sure." I couldn't believe she was even asking me this.

"So you told her that you were physically aroused when you were with her?"

That got me. Well I had sort of admitted it.

"Yes. I told her that I was a man and had the same feelings and wants that a human man had."

"Did she actually get confirmation of it?"

"What do you mean conformation?" I was puzzled.

"Physical evidence?"

"WHAT?" I jumped off the log as if she'd bitten me. She couldn't be serious? Could she?

"That would have been totally inappropriate. My mother would have turned in her grave." I couldn't believe this! This is preposterous!

"Edward, things have changed from the time you were born. The way people thought has changed. The world today is more open about things. How do you expect Bella to know you actually wanted her if she never really felt or saw the evidence like we did?"

Now she was teasing me! I was not having this conversation with my sister! I turned my back to her and ran towards the river. I felt myself flying through the air when the little pixie tackled me and we both landed in the river.

"Now you've done it Edward! This dress was supposed to be dry clean only." Alice tried to wring the water out of her dress.

"Well that's a poor choice to wear for a hunting trip then." I couldn't help laughing at her at the face she was making at me.

"I wasn't going to wear it again. Oh! Never mind where were we? Has she ever felt your physical need for her?"

I decided I was not going to get out of this conversation and I might as well get her advice on how to proceed from here anyway since I was getting no where with Bella.

"No. I don't think so."

"I thought as much. What about your bike ride? Did she feel it then? The way you were pressed against her I'm sure she would have felt you. Did she give any indication?"

"Actually no. I was really surprised that she didn't blush, even her heart rate didn't increase. She seemed totally oblivious. As long as we are being honest I actually felt disappointed." I know it was shameful to admit this but at this point I would do anything to have Bella notice me.

"When did you actually have your …I mean…..ahem release was it while on the bike or on the ground? I couldn't understand from the visions and I'm dying to know."

I dunked her under the water. The little devious pixie; I should have known what she was getting at from the start! The funny thing was I was actually excited about sharing my special moment and my feelings with someone. Bella didn't even know how much I had shared with her that day. I decided since Alice already knew almost everything I would go all the nine yards and tell her whatever she wanted to know.

"You are going to tell me?" She looked very excited. Ok this was going to be embarrassing.

"Well the first time was on the bike. I had no idea what was happening to me. But I'm sure Bella should have definitely felt me at the time because I was practically bouncing up and down while being pressed to her back when the bike went over bumps. When it hit me I fell off the bike."

We both started laughing. Ok it was funny! I finally had to admit it.

"Was it the only time it happened? I had a vision of her holding you very closely on the ground surely she would have understood then?"

"Well she didn't and I was pretty sure I looked at her with all the desire I had for her in my eyes. She only asked me whether I was hurt and why I had not gone hunting."

"Seriously? Oh! Poor you! Well how many times did you actually .. mm. you know….."

"Come on."

"Please… please tell me. I know it's more than twice because my extra precautions would have protected your modestly up until then. I didn't see a third one coming."

"Oh for the love of god! You are too inquisitive for your own good."

If I could have blushed I would have many times over. I was actually wondering whether something was wrong with me for releasing so many times. I seemed to have no control over it. I decided I might as well ask her. I wasn't about to go to Carlisle with this. He was the only other person I could ask. Well I could ask Emmett or Jasper but that would mean an eternity of more teasing. I decided I might as well trust Alice. She had already saved me a lot of embarrassment after all.

"But you are going to tell me right?"

"Yes. Ok it was four times. Is that normal?"

"Of course you idiot. It's even normal for some human teenage boys, but they need more recovery time, I'm sure you know about all this from your medical knowledge."

I nodded my head yes. "But for vampires?"

"We can go on and on, specially eternal teenage vampires. I thought you knew this with all your mind reading and stuff."

"No. Alice I never kept track of what happened in that way and as you know I've always tried to block out everything to do with the topic when it came to the family. I was never actually interested at all. I only studied the mechanics for my medical degrees."

"For the record I have no idea how many times a vampire can continue to release. So it could be any number of times at one stretch. And with this being new to you I don't honestly know how you will respond."

Oh no! What if I kept loosing control in class. This was going to be really embarrassing. I wasn't sure how to control it.

"Alice, I'm scared. Now that I have started having these .. .. and I didn't actually have any control over it at all. What if it happens in school? Everyone will know. Bella will know. I can't bear to face the humiliation." Oh god! "What if Emmett found out?"

"Calm down. It could happen. But I think you will need more entertainment than sitting in a class with a zombie-like Bella! Besides you have me."

As if that would save me from humiliation; But when I thought of Bella knowing…I actually wanted her to know. Was I becoming a pervert? This was so unlike me.

"Edward, don't think too much. Just remember from now on you have to let Bella decide how she wants your relationship to progress. Just be a good friend to her and show her that you would like to be more than that with her. Try to slowly win back her trust in your love for her. Ok?"

"Yes Alice. Thank you for your advice. Now I think I understand where I went wrong with her." She had given me a lot to think about.

"Thank you for talking to me so openly Edward. I know how difficult it was for you and it went against all your beliefs. But I think you know I'm more than a sister to you, I'm more like your best friend and I feel the same way about you. Bella is my female best friend and you are my male best friend as well as my favourite brother. I'm so lucky to have you. I love you. Just promise me that you will always come to me before you make any radical decisions?"

"I promise you. I'm very lucky to have you too Alice. I love you."

I hugged her to me. I made a vow to myself to follow her advice and win Bella's love back. I also vowed to never again hurt my little pixie. I had caused her too much pain in the past and I couldn't believe it that she still loved me. May be I too deserved to be loved. May be I am worthy of Bella's love too. This thought made me very happy.


	13. Chapter 13 Trouble with unmentionables

**Edward's POV**

I was thinking of skipping school and going to see Bella when Alice told me that the mutt was there with her since she had trouble seeing Bella again. So I decided to go to school. Bella would be missing school work while she got better and I decided it would be best if I took down notes for her. I remembered how meticulous she was about her notes and thought she would be happy to have me help her.

"_That's a good idea Edward. I'll do the notes for the classes she has with me. The only class we don't have with her is gym so she won't miss any of her notes."_

Alice thought to me from downstairs. I quickly put on the clothes she laid out for me. Only two pairs of underwear? No way. I put on three and put another five in my school bag just to be on the safe side. I started going downstairs and I was almost to the living room when I saw Alice talking to Carlisle.

"Where can I buy extra absorbent material Carlisle?"

"What would you want absorbent material for Alice?"

_Look what you make me do. Now I have to lie to Carlisle._ She was scolding me. What?

"What do I have to do with your shopping Alice?" I looked at her in surprise.

"Well it's for the project I'm doing for you Edward." What?

Just then Emmett walked in.

"She means the air freshener project she's doing to help Edward with Bella's psychological evaluation you asked him to do Carlisle."

Now it was Carlisle's turn to look at me in surprise.

"Yes. It's for the project I'm doing remember?" I gave Carlisle a desperate look.

"_You had better explain what is going on Edward. I'll go along with this just this once. I guess you are keeping something from Emmett right? And I'm guessing it has something to do with the date you went on with Bella." _

I nodded yes at him. I was in deep trouble.

"_What's that got to do with absorbent material?" _Carlisle thought at me.

I shook my shoulders to show I didn't know and looked at Alice for an explanation.

"_I'm trying to learn how to make your underwear more absorbent Edward. It is to protect your modesty. Do you think wearing three pairs of underwear will protect you? I have no idea how many times you might want to …you know relieve your self and the decision is made in an instant. So there may not be time to take precautionary measures before hand. There are special material that can be used to absorb a lot of moisture. So if I can get the material make some new underwear it should do the job. Remember the spring catalog? I thought the stuff there looked sexy. I don't like your plain boxers. I'm sure Bella would like to see something more sexy on you." _Alice thought at me.

WHAT? I was mortified. I hid my head in my hands and sat down on the stair way. I hope Carlisle doesn't figure it out. My hope was in vain. He kept looking at me and then Alice his mind working. He remembered the clothes from Saturday and how Esme told him what they smelt like and then he thought of how they would have got wet and how it could have been prevented had I been wearing something more absorbant. A slow smile spread across his face.

"_Now I know Edward. Believe me it's a good idea." _

Oh no! He didn't just say that. I was not going to wear anything from that catalog! They are simply too scandalous to even consider! But how can I enlighten Carlisle without getting Emmett suspicious? I put my school bag in front of me to cover more of me. I knew it didn't make much of a difference but I could have drilled a hole in the stairway just then to hide myself. To say I was humiliated is an understatement.

He looked at Alice.

"You can get them at .. ." Carlisle rattled off a long list of clothing manufacturers.

"Thanks Carlisle." _"You'll look cute in the sexy collection Edward"_ The little pixie gave me a wicked smile.

I glared at her.

This is not happening to me! Not again.

"What? What would absorbent material have to do with air fresheners and Bella's evaluation?" Emmett laughed at his own joke.

Let's see how she gets out of that one. Then I realized she was on my side and prayed that she could come up with a brilliant explanation.

"Well the special material would absorb moisture so we can use a liquid air freshener and make it last longer and Edward can carry it around in his bag to dispel the scent of blood when he is with Bella."

She really should join the secret service. She was really and truly highly skilled. But then again I realized you needed people like Emmett to believe her. He never did take the time to analyse things that closely or he would have realized that something fishy was going on. I was thankful that Rosalie was out with Esme.

"Oh ok. You let me know if you need any help from me bro to change the special stuff or something." And he slapped my back.

Carlisle burst out laughing and covered it off as a cough_. "I've got to hear what happened on Saturday Edward. You still owe me an explanation. I'll talk to you soon son."_

I nodded ok. There was nothing to it. There was no way of avoiding talking with Carlisle. Guess I would have to face it head on. I hoped it wouldn't go that badly.

"_You owe me more Edward, may be a nice little handbag to go with the dress."_

I nodded yes at Alice as I went towards the Volvo with her to go to school.

Once we got to school I decided to forget about the whole underwear thing and get on with the note taking. I was glad that I could at least do something Bella needed for her. I don't know whether she would accept my help but I was going to do it anyway. I got the notes I had missed from yesterday as well so I that had a complete set of notes for both days.

As soon as school finished we rushed over to the hospital. I drove by the police station to make sure Charlie would be at work before we made the visit since Alice still couldn't see Bella that well. Alice burst out laughing at this.

"Oh come on Alice. I don't want him to throw a temper tantrum at me again and I don't want that to happen in front of Bella, what if she agreed with him and asked me to leave?"

"Ok ok. I get it Edward you are scared stiff of the police chief; A human at that. I guess what I read about boys being scared of their girl friend's father is true. It's so fascinating that it applies to vampires as well."

When we walked in Bella was awake.

Alice ran to her and hugged her. "Hey, Bella we took notes for you. We even have the stuff you missed from yesterday!"

"Thanks Alice. That's great. I was so worried about how I was going to catch up. I will only be able to go back tomorrow. But I still wouldn't be able to write anything though."

"I'll write all your notes for you in the classes I have with you Bella." I smiled and told her.

"Thanks Edward". Wow she used my name and she even looked very pleased with me. I couldn't help smiling at her. She returned my smile.

"So how are you doing today?"

"I will be able to go home in the evening. I could have gone now but I have to wait for Charlie's shift to end."

I quickly volunteered to take her home. Bella agreed she was also happy to leave the hospital. Alice helped her take a wash once we got her home and we settled Bella on the living room coach.

"Can we go through the lessons we missed? Or do you have to leave now?" Bella asked us.

Alice shot a look at me and replied.

"I have to go to Jasper he's waiting for me to go hunting but Edward is free today. He can stay and help you." Alice is a life saver.

"Sure Bella I'll stay as long as you need my help."

"Thanks Edward."

I thanked my lucky stars that I took down the notes. We went through the work she missed for about two hours when Bella started grimacing. I noticed that she was holding her hand at an odd angle trying to find a comfortable position.

"Bella can I hold your hand and sort of apply a cold compress to relieve the pain?"

I could see she was in two minds about this but finally agreed.

Wow. I was going to hold her hand again!

I slowly sat next to her in the couch edge and took her hand in mine. I saw her shudder and I couldn't control the shiver that ran through my body. I looked at her to see her reaction and she was staring right back at me.

**Bella's POV**

I felt the pain lessen in my hand but at the same time I felt a sort of electricity running through me. Oh god no! I couldn't believe it. He still had the power to do things to my body. I couldn't help the shudder that ran through me. I pretended nothing happened and frantically tried to bring down my heart rate. I thought of the bathroom floor that needed scrubbing and anything else that I could think of. He was slowly leaning towards me. His eyes which were golden before turned smoldering dark black; while I watched. It was the same colour as Saturday when he looked at me after he fell off the bike. I recognized that look from long ago. This was dangerous. He wasn't hungry for blood. My instincts told me that and they also told me that I was in deep trouble. I can't let him hurt me again. I won't survive it. It will finish me.

For the first time in my life I was scared of Edward Cullen. I wasn't scared because he was a vampire. I was scared at the power Edward still seemed to have over me. I decided I should make some kind of a distraction to break the spell. I had to think of Charlie and Renee and the future I was going to create for them.

I summoned all my energy and thought of all the heart ache I suffered that day in the woods when he left me. This was the first time I had willingly remembered it. The bathroom floors were not helping me right now and I was desperate. I was also scared because I felt that my emotional flood gates were about to open. I will not let my self feel again. I will not let him hurt me ever again. I couldn't afford to do that. I had to remind that to my traitorous body. I felt the searing pain in my chest open up the wide gaping hole. I didn't care I let it take over me. I was still looking into those eyes and felt them turn golden then another odd colour. It reminded me of Edwards' eyes when Jane tortured him. I felt the blackness descend on me and everything felt numb. This was it I was inside my shell no one can touch me here.

**Edward's POV**

I was holding Bella's hand stroking it and felt my body responding to her proximity. I stared into her beautiful eyes. I saw need there. The same want I felt. I leaned into her, I was about to take her sweet lips in mine when I saw the fear in her eyes. Then it turned to terror. Next a depth of pain that shook me to the core. The pain I felt in my heart in response to her pain made my chest gape wide open. I froze. Her body convulsed and then she fainted.

I stared at my Bella in horror. Angela's memories of Bella the day I left her looked so similar. Oh! god what have I done.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.

"I'm coming. Don't do anything just wait. I can't see her. I called Carlisle." Alice's voice was frantic.

I heard the sound of a bike outside. The dog was here. I heard him call out.

"Bells, where are you."

I rushed and opened the door.

"Leech what are you doing here?"

"I gave Bella a lift from the hospital."

"Where is she?"

He saw her on the coach and froze. His memories also flew to the day I left and the way Bella was laying on the coach that day.

"What did you do to her you blood sucker!" He yelled at me while grabbing hold of her and shaking her.

"Bells wake up. I'm here love. You are safe. No one will ever hurt you again love. Wake up." He kissed her forehead.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. The most beautiful smile spread on her face.

"My sun."

What did she mean her sun? I felt my heart breaking all over again. He loved her. And she knew it and it looked like she loved him too.

Then she saw me and gave me the same smile. I felt my heart hoping again.

"What… what are you doing here Edward?"

I felt myself smile at her but now I was very confused.

"I brought you home from hospital and helped you with your school notes. Don't you remember?"

She furrowed her brow and then nodded yes.

"I remember us going through the notes now. Thank you for helping. Did I fall asleep? I didn't mean to I must have been very tired."

What? I was sure I didn't imagine what just happened with us. The dog was looking at me now. I decided if Bella didn't want him to know what happened I will go along with what she says.

"Yes. You fell asleep. You've had a tiring day." She smiled again.

I heard Alice burst in with Carlisle.

"Bella, Bella are you ok?" Alice hugged her. The mutt moved aside as if burnt.

_What did you do to her Edward? You idiot what did you do? _She was screaming in her mind at me.

I looked at Alice stunned. What did she mean what did I do to her?

"Sure, sure Alice. Why is everyone here?" Bella asked her.

"Oh we just came into check on you." Carlisle told her.

He checked Bella over and she smiled at him.

"_Edward, Alice thought something was very wrong with Bella because everything disappeared after she fainted. So she dragged me over. Bella seems to be ok. Sorry if I interrupted anything."_

I nodded slightly in acknowledgement.

"I brought you and Charlie some food. I knew you wouldn't be able to cook today." Jacob told Bella. Then he turned to me and said.

"You can leave now I'll be staying with Bella tonight. I had a good nap so that I can guard tonight."

"Thanks Jake. Alice have you seen anything from Victoria recently?" Bella asked Alice.

"No Bella."

"Then I guess I would be safe for now and Jake will be with me. You can go home. Thanks again for helping me. See you at school tomorrow."

I reluctantly said good night to Bella but decided to stay close by in the forest near Bella's house.

"_Come with us Edward. I need to talk to you and Bella needs to be by herself now. She needs space from you if you are planning on spending time with her tomorrow at school."_

Carlisle left us to go to the hospital again. We drove home in the Volvo.

As soon as we got home Alice grabbed my hand and pulled me to the tree trunk near the river where we usually sit to discuss things out of the hearing range of our family back at home.

"Edward, what were you thinking? You were going to kiss her weren't you Edward? I saw it."

"Yes. Alice I saw in her eyes how much she wanted me to. She even let me hold her hand."

"She wasn't ready! I told you to let her take the initiative! I told you to just be

friends with her! You should have just held her hand and soothed her wrist. She wasn't ready for anything more. She doesn't trust you anymore Edward. I don't think she even knows whether she has feelings for you. You have to let her come to you of her own free will. You have to let her make that decision. Please try to understand this Edward."

"I'm sorry Alice I just got carried away. I wanted her so much. Why did she act like she didn't remember fainting or what she felt before that? I saw the pain in her eyes. Oh god Alice! she was in so much pain. And I was helpless to help her."

"Of course you were. You were the one causing it or caused it in the first place."

She looked angry now.

I held my head in my hands I had just become friends with her again and I had tried to become her lover. How foolish and insensitive, I had not thought of her needs. Not asked her whether it was ok to kiss her. Be close to her. My behaviour was deplorable.

"Edward, listen to me. I feel she's pretending nothing happened because she doesn't want to deal with it right now. So I think we should go with that. We should continue to be her friends and help in her studies."

"Ok Alice. I trust you. I will try my best to be a good friend to her. No more unsolicited advances I promise."

"Oh you mean amorous advances?" with that the little pixie started running towards the house screaming.

"Edward is making amorous advances on Bella."

What! The little traitor; I ran after her trying to grab hold of her. But I was too late.

What do you think will happen next?


	14. Chapter 14 Coverup

**Edward's POV**

It was finally time to go to school. I had gone hunting again. I was not thirsty but I wanted to make sure my family didn't get the chance to talk with me. Specially Carlisle and Esme I knew I would have to face the music some time but that didn't keep me from putting it off as much as I possibly could.

I got home just in time to dress for school. Alice had kept a large collection of new underwear very similar to the ones that were in the spring catalogue on my bed with my clothes for the day if you could call them underwear! They looked scandalous! I don't know what special material she used for them but they seemed to be shrunken versions of my definition of underwear. I hid the more daring pieces without even properly looking at them. I decided to wear three pairs of my old normal underwear instead. I put some pairs of Alice's new underwear in my bag though just in case. I thought I could rush to the rest room and put one on if the need arose.

When I went downstairs Alice was shaking her head in disapproval.

"_Ok. But you'll be sorry."_ I glared at her.

We waited in the parking lot for Bella. Charlie dropped her off. She came towards us.

"Bella can I carry your bag for you?"

"Sure, sure"

"So how are you today Bella?" Alice asked her.

"My hand feels much better I think. But I won't be able to take down any notes for sometime. I hope the offer of notes still stands."

"Sure. We'll write everything you want." I told her.

Her first class was with Alice so I reluctantly left them and went my way. I rushed to Bella to help carry her books as soon as the bell rang. She was happy to let me do so. I had the next class with her so we sat together. I was feeling very happy. I had moved my chair a little closer to her but she didn't seem to notice. I felt her warmth radiating from her. I took in her scent breathing deeply from time to time. She looked so beautiful. She wore a lovely green top with a deep neck line. I could see the valley between her breasts. I caught myself pretending to lean over to take a pencil from her to get a better look. I was horrified. What was I doing? I was very aroused. It was very visible. Wearing three pairs of underwear had made it more pronounced. The jeans were getting extremely tight on me. I didn't know how I was going to get up after class. I decided I would hold my books in front of me. I anyway had an extra set of books thanks to Bella. Hopefully they would provide enough cover.

Just then Bella dropped the pen she was using as her book mark. She had been trying to turn the page. I leaned over her to catch it before it fell to the ground. I accidentally brushed my arm over Bella's breasts. I felt her nipples peak. That was all it took for me to explode in my pants. I shuddered. I felt the heat of Bella's blush. She was blushing! Her heart rate also increased then slowed down immediately. I gave her a sideways glance she was focused on the teacher. The blush was almost gone. I on the other hand was breathing heavily. God! Did she know what happened? I looked down to check the damage. Thank god for the extra underwear. I was still safe and the lump was also visibly reduced. I heaved a sigh of relief. I heard a chuckle from the other row. The little pixie was enjoying this.

"_I see you are having a nice time Edward." _

I sent daggers at her back. She turned and winked at me with a sly grin on her face. The obnoxious little pixie! Bella was smiling at her. She winked at Bella too. Bella blushed at this. Oh! That meant only one thing Bella knew something was up.

Our next class was Spanish and we all had it together again. I was again sitting next to Bella. She stumbled when she tried to sit down. I caught her before she fell. The only problem was I had her pressed against all of me after the rescue. She rubbed against you know who and that was it. He exploded yet again. Bella shook along with me and I barely managed to steady myself before we both fell. I immediately let Bella go. She was blushing. I felt the warmth envelop me. She very carefully sat on her chair and hurriedly got her book opened. I turned around grabbing my bag intending to go and put a pair of Alice's new underwear on. My quick check had showed me that I was safe for now but one more would spell disaster like I already knew from my biking experience. Just then the teacher walked in.

"Going some where Cullen? I suggest you go after class." There was nothing to it. I didn't want to make a scene so I just sat down. I decided I will concentrate on Spanish and not think of anything else for the whole hour. That was my only salvation. I could see Alice giggling none stop.

"_I told you! You should have listened to me."_ I felt myself giving up. I was doomed. Something else was going to happen. She was translating the declaration of independence into Chinese.

I looked at Bella. She was focused as ever on the teacher. I started taking notes. I wrote everything I heard including what the teacher was thinking so that my mind didn't wonder. That was a mistake! She was thinking about her date tonight. She was finally going to …oh for the love of god. Wasn't I going to get a break from this?

I focused back on Bella. If I was going to be doomed anyway, I might as well enjoy while doing it. Bella was grimacing again stroking her hand over her injured wrist.

I wrote in her note pad.

"Do you want me to hold your hand for you to cool it to reduce the pain? I can be a cold compress."

She smiled at me and offered her hand. I whispered in vampire speed to Alice to take down notes and held her hand with both of mine, lowering our joined hands to my lap so that the others wouldn't see it. I wasn't sure whether Bella wanted them to know she was holding hands with me or not. It was only when her hand rested on my lap that I realized my mistake. Edward junior was very very happy at the proximity. I was helpless to do anything. If I moved her hand it would still not do any good since I would have to keep our hands on Bella's lap which would be worse than the present situation or hold them mid air which would be look very awkward and might be uncomfortable for Bella.

I some how managed to sit through the period without aggravating the problem. But I was very aroused now. I was about to explode at any time. I sat frozen in place so that I didn't make any unnecessary movements which might trigger the release. I wasn't even breathing. The bell finally rang and I heaved a sigh of relief. Just then Bella quickly tried to take her hand back and in her hurry she brushed over the bulge in my jeans and that did it.

I shuddered and immediately exploded shaking uncontrollably. Bella looked at me and I at her. I felt so much love and desire for her. I was too far gone in my ecstasy to notice how humiliating the whole situation was. She blushed beet red and looked at her hand still held tightly in mine. I saw the moment she noticed the wet stain in my jeans. My embarrassment was acute. This was so inappropriate. I was so ashamed. I looked down at the floor. I had behaved like a cad in front of a lady. My birth mother would have had a heart attack if she knew. Bella slowly removed her hand from mine.

I heard a squeal of laughter and then a little pixie ran out of the class room in a big hurry.

"_I told you, I told you to wear the new underwear. You didn't listen. Let's see you get out of this one."_

I was really going to kill her this time. I couldn't get up and run after her. I could try to run past the humans. I was very fast. But still I might be seen. They might look for me. All of them knew I was in class thanks to the teacher's remark at the start of the class. I sat there helplessly. My only option was to try to hold the books in front of me. But it would be very risky. To make matters worse the little pixie had dressed me in very tight fitting clothes. My T-shirt was also short it wouldn't cover anything. I sat there lost in thought going through every escape plan I could think of when I heard Bella's voice.

"Edward…"

She was still sitting next to me. I couldn't believe she was still here.

I couldn't look up. I couldn't look into her eyes. I couldn't bear to see the shock and disgust that was sure to be in her face. I had behaved deplorably even if I had had no control over it. So ungentlemanly. I didn't deserve to be with polite company. I was so ashamed of myself.

I whispered. "Y..Yes Bella? My voice cracked.

"Edward can you take me home? I feel tired."

What? she wants me… me to take her home after all this? I slowly looked up but couldn't still meet her eyes.

"Ok."

I couldn't refuse my Bella anything she asked me to do for her. I sighed. This was an impossible situation. I was trying very hard to think of a way to get out of school without anyone noticing me.

"I feel a bit faint can you hold me against you in front of you while you walk me to the car?" Her voice was low but I heard her clearly.

It took a moment for me to understand what she was saying. Why would she want me to hold her against me? I mean why specify in front! Then it struck me...She was offering me a way to cover up the glaring stain!

I finally found the courage to look up at her. What I saw in her eyes took my breath away. She was blushing bright red but she also looked excited and proud? There was understanding in her eyes. I quickly looked down.

I tried to wrap my head around the totally unexpected conflicting expressions in her lovely face. Her face had been devoid of any emotion for so long. I could understand her embarrassment and excitement, but what was she proud of? Her heart rate was going through the roof. She was proud that I …wet my pants? She surely knows that vampires don't need to pee ….so she would know the only way I could have managed to do it would be through….my ..release and she was proud of it?

I gave her another side ways glance; she was smiling to herself. A very proud smile! Wait! Was she proud of me…. for ..for… releasing? I have read that giving a man pleasure makes a women proud. It was obvious from this situation that she was the reason for my little problem….so does it mean she's proud that she was able to …make me loose control? My sweet Bella was happy about something so… so.. The answer was obvious. Yes she was. I remembered the times she questioned me whether I really wanted her the way she wanted me. I had reassured her so many times that I did. I remembered what Alice said.

"_Did she actually get confirmation of it?" "Physical evidence?"_ No. Bella had never got any confirmation of physical evidence. She had never felt my arousal. I had made sure of it. Now she had all the proof she wanted. The extent of her power to arouse me was demonstrated beyond any doubt. As embarrassing as it was to me, I had to admit that to my Bella it was proof that I did in fact desire her the way a man wanted a women. I felt very shy. I was walking on a very fine line between being happy that she finally knew how much I wanted her and my utter mortification at the thought that she knew. Does it mean she still cared? Cared that I wanted her that way? Cared that I loved her so much that I didn't have any control when it came to her? I felt a slow smile spread across my face at this thought. I also felt shy and ashamed by my improper thoughts.

"Edward are you alright?" Bella sounded worried.

I realized that I had been sitting there for a while lost in my epiphany and forgotten that my Bella had wanted me to take her home.

I was still smiling like an idiot when I offered her my arm and helped her to stand up. I still couldn't look her in the eye. I gathered all our books. I lovingly put one arm around her waist and gently held her in front of me while holding the book bags as a cover on the other side. There was no space left between us and the stain was not visible to any onlookers. I focused all my energy on not crushing her to me and hurting her. My length was hard already and pressed against her because of our proximity.

Then I smelt it! The unmistakable scent of her arousal! The urge to make love to her then and there and make her mine was so overwhelming that I was shaking all over. Electricity was running through my veins. Bella leaned into me backwards. Her heart was beating at a rapid pace. I walked her very slowly to the Volvo and carefully helped her into the passenger seat and then quickly got into the driving seat. I don't know how I managed to get to the car without any further mishap. I guess it was my need to protect my Bella that gave me enough control to hold on to my uncontrollable libido.

"Thank you Bella." I didn't know what else to say.

I gave her another sideways glance under my lashes. She didn't raise her head. She was smiling while looking down at her hands. She was twisting her fingers. She looked very nervous and shy. A delightful blush was on her face. She must have also realized what we had just shared. Did she connect it to last Saturday? I had to admit to myself that I wanted her to know even though it had been a very embarrassing moment for me. I wanted her to know that she was responsible for that first amazing moment I shared with her. I vowed to myself that if she ever got back together again with me I would tell her about that special moment that would forever be etched in my heart.

We got to the house and I was debating on what to do next. I had to get rid of my underwear and then the smell on my jeans. I didn't have any soap with me. The pixie was not going to help. I was doomed. Even a jump in the river as I already knew would not be much help. I rested my head on the steering wheel, trying to work up the courage to go home.

"Edward, what's wrong?"

"I'm trying to work up the courage to go home to face my family like this. There is no way out of it."

"Will washing your clothes help?" Her voice sounded tentative.

"I.. I don't have any soap or deodorizers."

"Come inside with me and I'll wash your clothes for you."

Oh! Thank god. "Thank you Bella. It would mean so much to me. You are saving me from an eternity of humiliation…."

She was once again saving me from certain humiliation. I still couldn't work up the courage to look at her but I quickly got down from the car and helped her into the house.

She went upstairs and handed me a towel and a bed sheet. I looked at the bed sheet questioningly.

"I … I don't have anything that would fit you. And I don't think you should wear Charlie's stuff he's sure to notice your … s…smell. You can take a shower while I wash your clothes."

Oh! So she can smell me too….. I didn't know whether to feel mortified or exultant.

"Bella I'll put them in the wash. Just give me a moment to change in the laundry."

She blushed and walked away to the kitchen. I quickly changed into the bed sheet and put my jeans and underwear in the wash with a lot of laundry detergent and started the wash.

"Ahem… Bella I'm going to take that shower now."

I grabbed my bag and went upstairs and washed myself very thoroughly with soap and also Bella's body wash. Then I put on one of Alice's new underwear. I felt really embarrassed doing it but there was nothing to it I was not going to risk another catastrophe. My ego should be able to stand the scandal in the face of possibly more devastating results if I didn't take precautions.

I shyly walked back downstairs to face Bella wearing the bed sheet in sarong fashion. She was in the sitting room munching on something and reading our notes from today. She was laughing to herself. Ooops! I had had no time to rewrite the Spanish notes without the teacher's thoughts as I'd planned to do before giving them to Bella.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I was going to remove the teacher's thoughts before giving them to you. I didn't get to do it. I'll do it now."

"No I'm enjoying this. Just let me keep this set."

I took a seat on the far side of the living room. I wasn't risking sitting near Bella.

Bella didn't make anymore conversation with me and continued to read the notes while I stared at the floor. I felt very awkward. I didn't know what to talk about either so I was relieved. When the wash finished I transferred my clothes to the dryer and was waiting for the cycle to end when I heard Charlie's thoughts, he was on his way home.

"Bella, Charlie's about to come home." Then I remembered the Volvo parked outside. Oh shit! He'd see it. I have to move it.

"Hide in my closet. You can't go out in the bed sheet. I'll bring your clothes to you when they are finished."

"I'll first hide the Volvo and then get to your room."

I quickly went out and moved the car, it was difficult to run around in a bed sheet and I snagged it against the tree in the front lawn in my hurry when I jumped back inside through Bella's window. I barely made it when Charlie's cruiser pulled up in front of the house. I saw Charlie notice the flutter of white against all the greenery and look up and in his thoughts wonder what a bed sheet was doing up the tree. He was also surprised to see Bella home. She explained that her wrist had started hurting and that she had decided to come home. She told him that I had given her a lift for which Charlie just grunted. I could tell he was not very happy with this piece of information.

He then asked her the unavoidable question.

"Bella what is a bed sheet doing up in the tree in front?

Bella choked on her munchies. I saw her blush and splatter for a long moment through Charlie's eyes before she finally answered Charlie.

"I just hung it out to air."

Charlie thought it odd but didn't pursue the matter. He was too hungry. So he went straight to the kitchen to eat something.

I had the new underwear on protecting my modesty along with my jacket and t-shirt but felt very under dressed. I was now very glad I had put the underwear on. I hid deep in Bella's closet and took one of her Jackets and spread it across my lap.

I heard Bella's door close and lock. Then I heard her open the closet door. I held on tightly to the jacket.

She was looking away while blushing deeply. She quickly handed over my clothes and closed the closet door. Oh! shit, she must be thinking I'm half naked. I wanted to correct her but then realized it would mean that she would get to know about what exactly I was wearing. I decided 'naked' was better than explaining why I had extra underwear so I didn't say anything. I quickly put my clothes on. They smelt fresh, no unwanted substances affecting the smell. I heaved a sigh of relief. I came out of the closet.

"Bella, thanks for everything. I… I don't know what to say…"

"It's ok Edward. Let's pretend this didn't happen. You don't have to talk to me about it…."

I got down on my knees in front of her and took her hands in mine as she sat on the bed.

"I… I.. just wanted you to know how much I appreciate what you did for me today….you… you saved me from an eternity of disgrace. I am much ashamed of my very ungentlemanly conduct and beg your forgiveness if it offended your sensibilities in anyway. Please accept my humble apology. I assure you that what happened was unintentional and beyond my control. Please forgive me."

There I said it. I basically told her that I had no control over the whole shameful incident. I felt so vulnerable to expose myself like this to her but I wanted her to know the truth. I had promised myself that I would never lie to her again. I finally found the courage to look into her eyes.

They were glittering with tears….and so much emotion.. and care? Was it love….? I didn't dare to hope. She smiled through her tears and nodded her head in acceptance. I kissed her hand.

"I'll go home now, or… may be I should go back to school…I guess I'll go to school. Then I'll be able to take the rest of the notes for you. Do you want to come?"

"N..No.." Her voice was shaking.

I smiled at her with all the love in my heart. I hoped it would convey what I was helpless to utter….that I loved her….I was afraid to say the words aloud.. I was scared to spoil this precious moment.

"Take care Bella. Just call if you need anything."

It was with a very relieved heart and a lot of hope for the future that I jumped out of the window and ran to the Volvo.

_**Please please review. It means so much to me to know what you thought...**_


	15. Chapter 15 Awareness

**Bella's POV**

It was good to be back in school. My wrist was still hurting but I was not going to miss class because of a stupid injury. Guess I won't be able to ride my bike for some time either. It's on times like this that I wished that I was a vampire. I wouldn't be incapacitated by injuries like this if I was unbreakable. Well, going by my luck I am likely to be the only vampire to break bones had I ever been one. I chuckled at my own joke.

Talking of vampires I saw the Cullens' waiting for me. Well I guess I should be glad that they are able to take notes for me. I knew that Edward's hand writing was very clear and elegant. It was like reading a text book for heaven's sake! Alice's writing was not that perfect but she wouldn't miss anything in class either.

I focused on the day ahead. I will at least have an excuse from gym. Guess I should be thankful for small favours. I had my first class with Alice and she started apologizing to me again for failing to see me.

"I'm so sorry Bella that I didn't to see your accident. You see I am not able to see the wolves. I guess it's because of the changing nature of their form. I can see humans since I was one and I can see vampires even more clearly because I am one. But I have never been a wolf so that could also be a reason for not seeing their future. Whenever your future is intermingled with theirs I can't see you either."

"So does this mean that you can't see anything I decide to do with them involved?"

"Yes. I guess so."

"Don't worry Alice I'm always safe with Jake."

"But he's a young warewolf. Their nature is so volatile you could get hurt."

"Come on if he was to hurt me he would have done so a long time ago when he first started phasing. He never did. And I am sure he never will. He takes great care around me."

"Ok. If you say so."

I had to chuckle at that. She was never one to give up so easily. Guess Alice hasn't forgotten my threat and remembers that I now make my own decisions.

My next two classes were with both the Cullen's. The first was calculus. Edward offered to take any notes I needed since Alice had helped with the previous class. I hated calculus. But I tried my best to concentrate, reading from the book as well as listening to what the teacher had to say. I hated the fact that I couldn't write. I remembered things better when I could write down what I was hearing. I was playing with my pen when it fell.

Edward in a movement that caught me by surprise leaned in to catch it before it fell to the ground. His arm accidentally rubbed over my chest. An electric shock ran through me. Edward failed to catch the pen and in another rapid movement which I was unable to see was back in his seat. I hoped the class didn't catch the inhuman speed at which all this happened. Even I wouldn't have noticed it had it not been for that jolt of electricity that I experienced. What the hell? I decided to ignore it. I took a deep calming breath to regulate my heat beat. I had to make sure I got good marks in calculus. I had missed a test because of my trip to Italy. Stupid vampires and their suicide missions!

Alice picked up the pen for me and handed it over with a smile. I smiled back at her. She then winked at me! What? Why the wink? Did she notice what happened? Well I was not going to waste my time analyzing it.

I rushed to our next class and in my hurry to avoid sitting next to Edward I stumbled. He caught me to his body. Another electric shock ran through me and this time I felt tremors running down Edward's body while holding me tightly to him. Was it me or him shaking? I felt the heat of a huge blush spreading across my whole body. Oh! No. Of all the stupid stupid responses! My traitorous body had to betray me. I was very sure Edward would have noticed this. I very carefully sat down. He hurriedly picked up his bag and was about to leave class when the teacher stopped him. He of course sat next to me. In my hurry I'd forgotten all about going to the corner seat and making it impossible for him to sit next to me. So my escape plans had badly back fired on to me. He now knew I still responded to his proximity like a horny teenager. God! This was gross. I was sure he was about to leave class so that he didn't have to endure anymore of my pathetic human hormones when the teacher thwarted his attempt.

And to make matters worse Alice was giggling. So she knew my response to Edward. This was very embarrassing. If only I had the courage to get up and leave the class. But I knew that would not solve anything. I guess I would just have to endure it. I reminded myself I was doing all this for Charlie and Renee. I was not going to disappoint them. So I concentrated on the Spanish lesson as if my life depended on it. I saw Edward write down the notes for me. To top it all my hand was hurting. I had forgotten to take the pain killers in the morning. I was definitely having a really bad day.

Edward passed me a note. "Do you want me to hold your hand for you to cool it to reduce the pain like a cold compress?"

Ok this was good news. May be he didn't notice my earlier response. He might have had something urgent to attend to out of class. But I wasn't going to be stupid and refuse a gift horse. I smiled and offered him my hand. Acting as if nothing happened was the key.

What he did next surprised me. I thought he'd rest my hand on top of the desk. But he took it in both his hands and kept it on his thigh! The familiar electricity was back at work. Was he trying to prove a point? I couldn't just grab my hand back. I will just have to pretend this was an every day occurrence and wait till the bell rang. At least I managed to keep my heart beat at a normal range.

As soon as the bell rang I tried to grab my hand back. What happened next took me by complete surprise. Edward was shaking like a leaf and his grip on my hand tightened. Was he sick? This was similar to what happened to him in our bike ride.

I looked up at his face to check whether he was ok. What I saw there took my breath away. He looked at me with dark smoldering eyes, this time there was no mistaking the passion and desire in them. They were different from his hungry for blood eyes. This was an all consuming raging desire. He looked magnificent. His grip on my hand further tightened and little needles of pain shot through me breaking my concentration with his eyes.

I looked down at our hands. What was that? The dark patch staining his pants? It was in the exact same spot as the one he got when we went riding. He couldn't have peed….. then what does it mean? … we didn't have any water with us so he couldn't have spilled any. I was sure his pants were dry when he tried to leave class earlier. It could only mean… OH dear god…. Had he just….. come in his pants? Edward Cullen with his iron control? That was impossible. Did vampires even ejaculate? I wasn't sure. I never had that type of a conversation with him to know any details. But his eyes! They were of a man who had enjoyed the ultimate pleasure. And he had looked at me with them as if I was his object of desire.

Just then I heard laughter from Alice and she left the class room in a hurry. If I was in any doubt about what happened her reaction put it to rest. She was making fun of him. I slowly looked at Edward to check his reaction. He was looking down at the floor as if in defeat. His shoulders were hunched and he was breathing rapidly. I could guess that he was very embarrassed. I couldn't imagine what this type of a humiliation in public must be doing to his Victorian values. He had just suffered the ultimate indignity according to what little I know of his upbringing. From what I knew of Edward he was a virgin and I didn't think that status would have changed while he was away.

I knew he prided himself for his control when he managed to kiss me while he craved my blood so badly. That loss of control must mean a big let down to him. I was sure that if this happened to a normal seventeen year old he would have been mortified. Specially, in front of the girl he wanted and his sister had witnessed the whole thing. I couldn't even grasp the kind of embarrassment that Edward must be feeling at all this. To have it happen in front of me must have been…I had no words to express it. I looked at him again. He was hunched forward in an attempt to cover the stain with his elbows on his thighs and he had covered his face with his hands. He was frozen in place. He looked like a small boy attempting to cover his face in shame from the world… from me. He looked so vulnerable.

Then realization struck. Edward Cullen had just lost control by a mere touch from me! Holding my hand had brought him to orgasm. I couldn't believe it! Did I have that kind of power over him? I knew I didn't way back then when we were going out. Or was it his iron control? But what had happened to break through it? I realized the similarity between what happened to him during the bike ride and this situation. Did he have an orgasm while on the bike? Was it why he fell off? …

Holy shit! I knew it was funny but I didn't feel like laughing at his expense. No wonder he came up with that silly excuse about the engine to try to explain the stain on his jeans. He must know by now that I would have figured out that this stain and the stain on the bike looked very similar. He would also know that I would know the cause. I then remembered the hardness against my back while we rode. I had not thought much of it at the time. But now I realized it must have been …holy!…..no way!…oh my god!

Edward Cullen's ….erection! It had pressed against me…!

Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god...!

I tried to remember the feeling. It reminded me of a hard rounded stick something like a rolling pin pressing against me. I hope it's not as big as a rolling pin! What was I doing? What did it matter to me whether it looked like a rolling pin or not? Why did I have to come up with that example! Now I would have a hard time using the stupid kitchen utensil!

I must have sat there for a while with all these crazy thoughts in my mind when I realized that it was just the two of us left in class.

Edward was still frozen in place. I felt very sorry for him. I also felt very proud. I was the cause of all this. And finally after all this time I felt happy to know that what he had told me those days that he did want me as much as I wanted him must have been true to make him respond in this way to a simple touch. I had to help him. I knew Alice was not going to come to his rescue. I had a feeling she was really enjoying his discomfort. Poor Edward! I felt responsible. I knew it was not my fault this happened to him but I was the cause of all this. I might as well help him get out of this predicament with what was left of his pride intact. I couldn't bear the thought of our classmates humiliating Edward. He didn't deserve it. It was not his fault he was just a normal horny seventeen year old vampire… I had to smile at that description. I came up with an escape plan. My hand was hurting and I needed to take my painkillers. So my excuse was not a total lie.

"Edward?"

He didn't look up.

"Y..Yes Bella?"

His voice sounded different and he was stammering. Poor Edward! It must be difficult for him to even talk to me. At least he responded.

"Edward can you take me home? I feel tired."

"Ok." As he said this he looked even more defeated. I realized he had no idea that I was actually trying to help him not cause him more embarrassment. He must have thought about how he was going to walk out of here with me with that prominent stain in front. Guess I'd have to be more descriptive of our escape plan so that he understood that I wanted to help without actually putting it into words. I was sure if I was frank with Edward he would refuse my help thinking it was not proper for him to accept a girl's assistance to cover up this type of a mishap.

"I feel a bit faint can you hold me against you in front of you while you walk me to the car?"

There I said it; I gave him a very detailed escape plan. I just hoped I will survive it without betraying my own excitement. He finally looked up at me. I could see amazement there. As if he couldn't believe what he was hearing. I blushed. I couldn't help it. I felt very excited at the prospect of him holding me to him. He quickly looked down. His face betrayed his emotions, surprise, relief and something else. Understanding? As if he figured out the answer to a big puzzle. I saw him steal another glance at me. A shy smile of victory spread across his face.

"Edward are you alright?"

I had to ask him to make sure he was alright. His behaviour was confusing. At that he got up and helped me to my feet. Then he started walking very carefully holding me to his front and taking our bags in his other hand holding them at an odd angle to make sure they covered the rest of him. Then I felt it; the unmistakable hardness pressing against my back. I felt myself unconsciously leaning backwards. I felt him shiver. Or was it me? The live electricity was running down my body and I was barely able to walk. I was very aroused at the thought of being this close to Edward and his need. We had never pressed so intimately together while in this state of arousal. Edward had held me close to his body in numerous occasions but never when we were both so high. I was sure that we were both visibly shaking.

Since it was in the middle of the next school period almost all the students were in class so we didn't come across anyone on our way to the car park. I was sure if anyone saw us together they would have known for sure that something was very wrong with us. The awkward way we walked reminded me of a hostage held at gun point being walked in front of the gunman to face the police. I guess I was a hostage to Edward's and my passion. There was no denying it. I may not love him anymore but my body still wanted him.


	16. Chapter 16 The list

**Bella's POV**

"Edward, what's wrong?"

We were home and I was about to get out when I noticed the way Edward was hunched over the steering wheel. It felt as if he had given up on something…. He seemed very lost.. was he crying? We had not spoken at all during the ride home.

"I'm trying to work up the courage to go home to face my family like this. There is no way out of it." I barely heard the words uttered almost in a whisper. This was not the Edward Cullen I knew. This was a very desperate man admitting defeat. He looked so vulnerable.

"Will washing your clothes help?"

I don't know what made me say it. This new Edward was very confusing to me and at the same time I felt I needed to protect him. He had saved my life so many times. And if facing his family in this situation was going to hurt him so much I was going to do what I can to help him.

"I.. I don't have any soap or deodorizers."

"Come inside with me and I'll wash your clothes for you."

"Thank you Bella. It would mean so much to me. You are saving me from an eternity of humiliation…."

He didn't meet my eyes but I felt the overwhelming gratitude in his sincere words. When he said 'eternity' I know he really meant eternity. Poor Edward! Imagine getting teased for .. I couldn't even grasp how long it would mean.

I went upstairs and ran through my clothes. May be my baggy track bottoms would do…. But the thought of having Edward sans underwear wearing it… no… I was not gong to go there. I will have to throw the pants away to get rid of the memory. And right now I couldn't afford it. I had spent some of my savings on the clothes I bought when I went shopping with Alice. I had not let her pay for any of my stuff.

"I … I don't have anything that would fit you."

I wasn't about to give up my track bottoms! And technically they would be too short for him anyway…. But he would have looked good in them…they would have been very tight on him….what am I doing! I scolded myself. This line of thinking was way out.

"And I don't think you should wear Charlie's stuff he's sure to notice your … s…smell."

I saw the look of mortification in Edward's face at that. Oh, oh! Someone is embarrassed. Well serves him right for all the times he must have smelt me and joked about my clumsiness. I knew he had a really good sense of smell and he would have surly smelt my arousal on so many occasions. I felt really bad enjoying his discomfort. But this was so new to me. I couldn't help it. I was really having some fun at his expense for a change rather than the other way around where I was always the source of all the entertainment with my clumsiness.

"You can take a shower while I wash your clothes." Edward in my shower….. oh… he would look glorious.

"Bella I'll put them in the wash. Just give me a moment to change in the laundry."

I could help you with it…god Bella what's happening to you? I questioned myself. It was so unlike me to think such rude thoughts. I should not let Edward have this kind of power over me. I have no control over my physical response to him but I should not let it distract me and get me in more trouble with him. I knew he and Alice were both doing everything they can to try to get me back with Edward. I had to fight this attraction some how. Once he gets me back he might just decide to walk away again. And none of them had actually told me anything about changing me after we got back from Volterra. So I had to get a hold of my emotions. Right now they were going haywire and I didn't like it one bit. I focused once more on the pain that I had suffered. No I was not letting my teenage hormones get the better of me.

"Ahem… Bella I'm going to take that shower now."

Can I help Edward…..oh this has got to stop. Alice will have a field day if she knew. Oh my god! Did she know? What if she did? She might tell Edward and they might both use my over sexed human urges to get the better of me. I couldn't let that happen. I couldn't let Alice see this…. Wait….she can't see the wolves…..she can't see any decisions I make while with Jake… or ones involving Jake. I've got it. Ok let's see. How do I go about this? May be I'll just make a list that involves a lot of wolves in it along with Edward and make decisions based on the whole list! Well who is going to be in my list with Edward? Well Jake obviously ….. I have to think of more wolves…. ok got it! Jared is pretty cool too. Right so I'll just add Paul and Sam? Nope. Paul tried to hurt me when I first visited the wolf pack and Sam is already taken. Embry simply wasn't my type. I had to make sure this list is genuine and had wolves that I found attractive in it. Ok I guess two wolves and a vampire will have to do. I will have to make this real otherwise Alice might see through it. So now what decisions do I make?

Ok. I will not let any of the people in the list make me get close to them in a sexual way. I am going to concentrate on my studies and Charlie. No matter how attractive they are I will not let them take control of me. So there! I felt very happy. Let's just hope Alice doesn't see the list and I'll have to keep it a secret from Jake. I knew he had feelings for me and he would be more than happy to be in the list. Well, enough about the list I have to get on with my studies. I got some munchies from the kitchen and I took out the Spanish notes that Edward had written and started to read them.

What? I was half way through the notes when I read a really odd line in the middle.

"_What do I wear, the midnight blue dress or my black mini? Which one would be more sexy?"_

I was sure there was no mention of dresses during class and this part was written in English. I had read only a few more lines before another funny line popped up.

"_My underwear has to be special. May be the black lace would do. It would look good with the black high heels"._

This was definitely not part of the notes and Edward had written them for me not Alice. Unless Edward was now a cross dresser which I seriously doubted judging from his reaction to me today this part of the notes did not belong to either of them. Then who else?

Oh! Edward had written down what our Spanish teacher was thinking. Come to think of it she was a bit preoccupied today in class. I burst out laughing. It must be fun to be able to read people's minds at times. I knew Edward made sure not to share any private thoughts he hears with others but he must have been distracted in class today to have written down the thoughts he was hearing as well as the actual notes! And I can imagine what distracted him! Once again I felt happy. Having some kind of power over Edward was overwhelming. I had always felt very insignificant next to him. To know that I too had affected him at a deeper level made me feel more confident of myself. May be he did love me while we were together. He definitely wanted my body. No I'm not going there. My list! Yes. I will not let anyone in the list have that kind of power over me again.

I got back to reading more of the Spanish notes. They really were entertaining. I didn't know our teacher was such a seductress! May be I could learn a thing or two from her. There we go again. No I will not seduce anyone in my list.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I was going to remove the teacher's thoughts before giving them to you. I didn't get to do it. I'll do it now."

"No I'm enjoying this. Just let me keep this set." I really was enjoying it. I looked up at Edward.

Holy shit! I didn't realize a bed sheet could look so sexy on him! Correction a bed sheet on one of the people from the list. He had draped it sarong style. I saw Edward sit down on a chair across the room. That was good I was scared that he would join me in the sofa. I didn't want to have to deal with his proximity plus the fact that he was only wearing a bed sheet except for that tight t-shirt. Since when did he start wearing such sexy t-shirts? I remembered while he was with me he wore very baggy clothes. They often covered the most interesting parts of him. I thought it was his normal way of dressing. But lately he had started wearing tight fitting clothes molding his body. Was he trying to seduce me? Was today's incident a role play? No. I was sure it was not. Edward would not put him self in this situation. I don't think he would try to use such an underhand method. He was very quiet and I pretended to continue to read the Spanish notes since I didn't now what to say to him.

I heard him put his clothes in the dryer and then he was right beside me. There was a look of panic in his face.

"Bella, Charlie's about to come home."

Oh ok. I didn't think it was a good idea for Edward to be here specially in a bed sheet in the living room when Charlie came home. I couldn't help thinking what it would look like to Charlie! Oh god. He would surely shoot Edward!

"Hide in my closet. You can't go out in the bed sheet. I'll bring your clothes to you when they are finished."

"I'll first hide the Volvo and then get to your room."

I decided to continue with the notes eating my munchies. I heard Charlie coming into the house.

"Oh Bella, I thought you were at school."

"My wrist hurt dad and I decided to come home and rest."

"Guess you should have stayed home today and taken a good rest. How did you get home? You could have called me I would have come and got you."

"Oh, Edward dropped me." Charlie's face turned red.

Oops. He didn't sound too happy about it. Well, I really couldn't give the real reason so I let it drop.

"Bella what is a bed sheet doing up in the tree in front?

WHAT? Oh my god! I choked on my munchies. Did Edward manage to climb in through my window? I sincerely hoped so otherwise the neighbours were going to get a free show. I suddenly felt very protective of Edward's modesty. No one but me should be allowed to see him naked. WHAT? What did I just think! Oh god! oh god. Right I got it. I didn't want anyone else to see the people in my list naked. Ok that was much better.

"I just hung it out to air." I knew it was a very flimsy excuse. And how could I have managed to hang it wherever it was on the tree with one arm? This was so not good.

I had to distract Charlie.

"Dad there's some left over pizza from yesterday in the kitchen. I'm really sorry I'm not up to cooking any stuff and we have to rely on frozen food."

"It's ok Bells. You can cook for me when you get better."

I heard the dryer beep. I took a deep breath. Charlie was in the kitchen eating. I slowly took Edward's clothes out and put some new laundry on top to cover them and went upstairs. I walked into my room and locked the door. I didn't want Charlie to walk in. Edward was not outside in the room. Ok he's in the closet. I can do this… I can do this. I carefully averted my eyes and opened the closet door and handed him his clothes. While he took them I couldn't help looking down. I was disappointed that he had covered himself with my jacket. Get a hold of yourself Bella! Oh! I was becoming a pervert and I felt guilty for wanting to see him naked. I kept chanting in my head…..I will not be a pervert ….I will not want to see people in my list naked. I went to sit on my bed and I took a deep breath and willed my heart beat to slow.

"Bella, thanks for everything. I… I don't know what to say…"

He was dressed in his jeans. I think I liked him better in the bed sheet.

"It's ok Edward. Let's pretend this didn't happen. You don't have to talk to me about it…."

I really didn't want to talk to him about it. What he did next took me completely by surprise. He knelt in front of me and took my hands in his.

"I… I.. just wanted you to know how much I appreciate what you did for me today….you… you saved me from an eternity of disgrace. I am much ashamed of my very ungentlemanly conduct and beg your forgiveness if it offended your sensibilities in anyway. Please accept my humble apology. I assure you that what happened was unintentional and beyond my control. Please forgive me."

Oh! Edward! He sounded like a character from an old classic! Guess he is.. he was born during that period… I looked into his face and saw the shame and vulnerability. He was exposing himself to me. He was admitting to what happened unlike the day of the bike ride. I was so happy to have helped him. I liked this human side of Edward with all his failings much more than the arrogant know it all control freak I knew before. I felt like hugging him to me and comforting him. I smiled an encouraging smile at him. I wanted him to know that I understood him and he could trust me. He had to know that I would never hurt or humiliate him for his loss of control.

"I'll go home now, or… may be I should go back to school…I guess I'll go to school. Then I'll be able to take the rest of the notes for you. Do you want to come?"

I managed to respond. "N..No.."

I saw him returning my smile with his crooked smile which lit his face with so much love. I felt so torn. I wanted to believe him so much.

"Take care Bella. Just call if you need anything."

With that he disappeared. I sat there for a long time crying. I cried for all that we had lost; I cried for the pain I suffered; I cried for the trusting innocent girl I was when I fell in love with Edward; I was no longer that girl. I had become someone else. The reality of how the world operates had destroyed my trust and innocence forever. I didn't even know whether I will have it in me to ever get married. I don't think that I would ever trust anyone with my love ever again. I guess I'm like Charlie in that. Charlie and I had been hurt deeply by the people we loved and trusted. I don't think I could ever get over it. My hand was hurting and I just cried. The tears didn't seem to want to stop.

I heard Charlie come up the stairs and that took me out of my crying bout. Now I was very angry. Edward Cullen had made me cry! I resented it. No one should be able to make me cry. I was feeling emotional again and I had promised myself that I would not let that happen. No one in my list should have the power to make me cry. I knew I sounded childish but I made a vow to myself. I must some how protect myself and what I believed in. I should not let anyone into my heart again. No I will not let it happen. No one in the list will touch my heart. I was an emotional mess. I needed to give my mind a break. I thought of Jake. My sun; my saviour; I decided I needed to escape, to let go and have some fun. I'm sure he would come up with something to cheer me up.

"Dad, could you drive me over to Jake's? He should be home from school now."


	17. Chapter 17 Mud bath

**Edward's POV**

As I drove to the school I was thinking of all that happened with my Bella today. I couldn't help smiling to myself. I felt as if there was hope for me for a life with her. As I neared the school I remembered a certain pixie who abandoned her brother in his hour of need. Oh yes! She was going to pay for it!

I parked and went to my class. There were only two more periods to go and Alice didn't have either of them with me. She should thank her lucky stars. I tried reading her thoughts but she was singing an African tribe song in Swahili! Ok the little pixie was up to something. I was not going to let her get away with this.

When the final bell rang she walked into the car park just as I reached the Volvo. She put her bag in to the car and as she turned to get in, I saw the mud puddle right next to her door. I saw the horror in her face a split second before I pushed the little pixie into the mud! She just had time to grab me as she fell and we both ended up in the mud together. It had been raining and the mud was thick.

"YOU ! Are you crazy Edward this dress is made of a very expensive material and I ordered it from Paris you idiot."

She was splashing around trying to get up when I pulled her down again.

"What you did in the morning was not nice Alice."

"I did it for you Edward. You have to know that."

"What do you mean you did it for me? You left me Alice! You left me when I needed you the most." I was screaming now. I was so angry with her remembering my humiliation and the utter mortification when Bella found out about it.

"Oh come on Edward!"

She dared to defend her self after what she did. I pushed her head in the mud. She retaliated and did the same to me. By now we were rolling around in the mud. I didn't care. The pixie was going to be sorry for what she did to me in the morning. If not for Bella I would have been the laughing stock of the whole school by now! I was really mad. I could read in her thoughts that Alice was equally angry. She was thinking of how she would have to work to get the mud out of her hair and how the dress was totally ruined. She was screaming at me now.

"Look what you did? This was one of my favourite designs. It took me a whole week to get the material shipped. It's totally ruined now. This is the second dress you ruined in a week."

I was getting more angry when I heard her. She was worried about a silly dress and her hair when she should regret not helping her brother.

"Edward Cullen and Alice Cullen get up at once!"

Alice and I both stared in shock at Vice Principal Morgan. When did he get here? Oh! god! We were surrounded by the whole school. There were so many kids around us. Alice and I exchanged a glance. How could a mind reader and a psychic be surprised? I couldn't believe it!

"_I'm sorry Edward_ _I didn't see it. I was so angry I wasn't concentrating on anything else."_ I whispered "Me too."

I slowly got up and helped Alice up trying to wipe off some of the mud from her face. I was feeling terrible now. What had I done? Alice held on tightly to my hand trying to hide her face in my t-shirt. She was scared and feeling very embarrassed because she had never been less than perfect with her clothes when she came to school. Now thanks to me she looked like some thing the cat had dragged in.

"Follow me to the office." _These kids are crazy. Come to think of it I have never seen the Cullen kids get into any trouble before. Some thing must be very wrong. I will have to call Dr. Cullen. _

Oh! No. We were in deep trouble. I knew Carlisle would want to know what happened and he would be ashamed of me for behaving so badly and I had dragged Alice into it.

Angela rushed over and handed Alice some tissues. I took them from her and tried to help the pixie wipe off some of the mud.

"_Edward check whether the humans noticed anything out of order. I don't know whether we fought at vampire speed."_

I nodded at her and tried to read the thoughts around me. I hadn't even thought of that. I had been so engrossed in the fight that I had not even heard the thoughts of the kids who must have come to watch us. If I had seen or heard them we wouldn't be in this mess. I cursed myself.

Mike Newton thought

"_I never expected to see the day when the Cullen's got down and dirty. They sure are weird. They seem to go all out when it comes to fighting. I mean Alice didn't give up. Good for her for taking on Edward. I hope Bella is around to see this less than perfect Cullen"_ and he looked around to find her.

I focused on Tyler next. _"Oh man what a fight. What a hell cat. Jasper must be enjoying some….."_ I left his head.

Jessica approached me with a hanky.

"Here Edward, let me help you get the dirt off."

She tried to reach up and wipe my face with it but I quickly grabbed her hanky and handed it over to Alice.

"Thanks Jessica".

"_Oh! He looks so cute. Like a hunk who had just ridden in a rodeo and got trampled on!...how romantic. Sexy hair all messed up. I wouldn't mind making love to him in the mud. It would be so erotic. I would first…."_

I quickly turned to Eric.

He smiled at me.

"You are the man" and he gave me a five. I let my hand touch his but didn't understand what he meant.

"Dude you took her on."

Then he remembered all the times his sisters had played pranks on him. Ok I guess I understood. Alice was scowling at him. I couldn't help smiling. It did look a bit funny with the two of us caked in mud.

"_Who knew the Cullen's had it in them to let go and have some fun."_ Ben was thinking.

"_I hope it's nothing serious."_ Angela was still walking with me and Alice trying to help Alice.

"_Wow. A sex god covered in mud….what I wouldn't give to help him wash all that mud off of him…...I would run a hot bath ….."_

Lauren was practically trying to eat me alive with the hungry look she sent.

I quickly looked away and focused back on Alice's thoughts.

"_Oh! god he'll call Carlisle what are we going to do Edward?" _

She gave me a desperate look. She was thinking of the time that Carlisle had taken away her credit cards for a whole week when she and I pulled a prank on Emmett and Rosalie.

I put a hand around her shoulders and hugged her to me in reassurance.

"It's my fault Alice. Carlisle won't be mad at you. I'll tell him everything was my fault I promise."

I was feeling like hell. Poor Alice! Loosing her credit cards would mean so much to her. She loves to shop and the thought that she wouldn't be able to buy anything for some time was the ultimate punishment for her. And Carlisle knew it. He couldn't do that to me because I had my own fortune accumulated over the years. My parents had been well to do and they had left me everything they owned. I had substantially increased my wealth through the years with different investments and recently with the stock market predications that Alice made.

I never realized it but Alice must be feeling really insecure without her own money. She and Jasper and everyone else in the family including me had credit cards with unlimited spending which Carlisle had provided. He was in-charge of the family wealth which was invested around the world. Alice had helped in increasing that too. I decided it was time I did something for her. I could buy her all sorts of gifts but it was not like having your own money. I decided to open a savings account for Alice with some money so that she can do whatever she wanted with it. May be she would even like to invest in the stock market with me.

Alice quickly turned around and hugged me mud and all to the surprise of everyone around us. They were all gaping at us incredulously.

"Thank you thank you thank you Edward" and she kissed me on the cheek. I hugged her closely to me. I felt very happy that I had made her so happy when a moment ago I had done something so unforgivable. The little pixie was glowing with happiness.

I looked around me.

"What was that about? Tyler was asking Mike.

"As if I know; if you ask me they are a bunch of weirdoes."

"I thought they were fighting? This is ridiculous I wouldn't forgive anyone who dunked me in the mud like that." Jessica was telling Lauren. She was now mad at me for ignoring her help.

We were in the office now.

"You two wait here. Don't sit on any of the chairs wipe your feet before you enter the office. I'm going to call your parents."

With that Vice Principal Morgan left us in the outer office and went into his to take the call.

"Please Edward. Don't let Carlisle punish me ok? I was only trying to help you this morning. I left because I knew Bella would help you once she knew I wasn't around."

"What?"

"I saw it Edward. I saw that she would help you and take you home and wash your clothes for you."

"Oh. That was why you were doing the Chinese translation?"

"Yes you idiot. How could you for a moment think that I wouldn't help you? I didn't even let the family catch you. It was your fault entirely that some of them found out."

I had to admit that what she said was true. She had made sure no one would know of my motor bike riding mishap.

"Then why did you not warn me?"

"I did warn you to wear the new underwear from the spring collection." I cringed remembering the ones she had got me. They were so much more revealing than my normal ones.

"Well yes." She did warn me.

"But then I saw the vision of Bella helping you and decided that it was for the best if I went away."

"But you could have told me."

"Well would you have gone through with it if I had told you?"

"Of course not! I didn't know where to hide myself when Bella found out. I mean I was beyond mortified. It was not right of me as a gentleman to have behaved like a cad in front of her. Specially, someone like Bella who deserves to be treated with respect."

"Oh! Come on Edward! Do you think Bella minded? I bet she was very happy to know she affected you in that way."

"Well…" I was now speechless. I remembered the look on Bella's face. She was anything but offended.

I couldn't help the smile that spread over my face at the memory of Bella's blush.

"Ok yes. She was happy. But don't do that to me again Alice. She made me wear a bed sheet and it got tangled in a tree and and…" I couldn't continue. I burst out laughing when I saw Alice's vision of it in her head at that moment. We were both laughing hysterically when the Vice Principal walked in.

_I'm never going to understand these kids. I thought they were fighting. Now it looks like they are enjoying a joke. Well let's see what they have to say when their parents get here. I have always wanted to know how Dr. Cullen managed to keep five teenagers out of trouble. _

"I suggest that you think about your actions before laughing. I don't expect teenagers to behave like little kids."

_Playing in the mud in the parking lot, they both usually look so serious. Something must be wrong for them to behave this way. Well we'll find out soon enough. _

"I suggest you clean up in that sink over there before your parents get here. They are on the way. Mrs. Cope can you hand over some gym towels?

Mrs. Cope was staring at us like she had seen a ghost.

"_Whatever happened to Edward Cullen? And that sweet little Alice? Someone must have pushed them into the mud. I knew the other kids were jealous about them. But this is no way to treat them. They have always been very courteous to me."_

After she gave us the towels I wet one from the sink and started cleaning Alice. She took another and was wiping the mud from my face.

"_Oh! Look how sweet they look. I can see the love they share. This is how a brother and sister should be and they are not even related." _Mrs. Cope was giving us a loving look.

She called the vice principal in a whisper and showed us to him. They were now both staring at us. I could see it in my mind but they thought we couldn't see them since our back was turned to them.

"_I'll never understand these kids. Now they look as if they never had any fight. They do really care about each other. They are not related but guess it's not a love match. I've seen the girl with her boy friend Jasper. But they do look very close. I guess I can be a bit lenient on them. They have never got in to trouble before." _

Alice got a vision of us cleaning the school yard and then writing an essay on good behaviour. We both smiled. Ok we were not going to get detention. I had been worried about how we were going to take notes for Bella if we had got detention. But Carlisle was another matter. Alice also looked serious.

"Edward please, don't let Carlisle be angry with me ok?"

I nodded while stroking her head.

I heard the intercom buzz and then Carlisle and Esme walked in. They stood frozen at the door when they saw us.

"_What in the world happened to you two Edward? What ever you did how did you get caught? You are the last two people I would have expected to find in this situation what ever it is." _Carlisle asked me as Esme rushed over to me and Alice.

"Please come into the office Dr. Cullen, Mrs. Cullen; and the two of you Edward." Mr. Morgan was now at a loss on how to explain this to Carlisle. Carlisle's look of surprise and Esme's response had taken him by surprise. Most parents would have immediately been angry with the kids. But Carlisle looked very calm except for his surprise that he didn't disguise.

"Well Dr. Cullen, I got summoned to the parking lot right after school. Edward and Alice were fighting in a mud puddle in the parking lot. The other kids had seen them falling into the puddle. When I got there they were screaming at each other while rolling in the mud."

Carlisle nearly fell off his chair while Esme covered her mouth in surprise. They knew that Emmett, Jasper and I were very fond of fighting. In fact Alice and Rosalie had also fought. Come to think of it we all fought; But never Alice and me. I had always protected her and she had done the same for me. The whole family knew of the special connection we had with each other. We would joke and make fun at each other but never really fight. So to hear that we had been screaming at each other and behaving in this manner at a public place was beyond their comprehension.

Alice was holding tightly to me sobbing on to my t-shirt. She was really scared now. I held her closer.

"It's my fault dad. I pushed her into the mud."

"_Edward are you out of your mind" _Carlisle was so surprised he could barely talk. It was Esme who responded.

"That was not a nice thing to do to your sister Edward." She reprimanded me.

"I'm sorry mom. Please don't punish Alice dad. It was all my fault. It was a big misunderstanding."

The Vice Principal's mouth was now gaping open. _These kids are amazing. He's taking the blame for everything and she's seeking comfort from him. I think she's crying and I thought they were fighting just a short while ago. Was I mistaken? No I was sure they were screaming at each other._

Carlisle took charge. He looked at me and asked a silent question.

"_Does this have anything to do with Bella and what has been happening the past few days?"_

I meekly nodded a silent yes. I saw Carlisle suppress a smile.

"_This is getting very interesting. Both of you are not going any where until you explain everything to me and Esme as soon as we get home. I'll try to get you out of here now and get the vice principal to reduce your punishment."_

"You had better explain things to me when we get home. Both of you are grounded. Now you can leave the office so that I can talk to Mr. Morgan." He nodded at us. _Be thankful I know you two must have had a good reason for this behaviour._

I smiled at Carlisle when we turned so that Mr. Morgan didn't see it. Esme was now looking a bit surprised at me and Carlisle. One look from Carlisle brought Esme up to date and she covered her face with a hanky to suppress her giggles. I could see her shoulders shaking.

"_Edward what have you two been up to now? I know Bella is involved in this some how. I can't wait to get home. I know you have been avoiding us."_

I heard Carlisle talking to Mr. Morgan when we came out.

"I can't understand why Edward and Alice would have had a fight. It must have been a simple misunderstanding. I don't think he pushed her into the mud. They must have slipped and fallen. He must be covering up for Alice."

"But I heard them screaming at each other." Mr. Morgan remembered the shouting.

"What were they arguing about?" _I hope they were not talking about Bella. That would need some explaining. _Carlisle thought.

"I think it was something about a dress."

At this both Carlisle and Esme relaxed.

"Oh, Edward must have ruined Alice's dress. She loves to sew and design her clothing. I remember that she made the one she is wearing now." Esme told the vice principal.

"Yes. I think that must be why they were arguing. Alice is very fond of her dresses." Carlisle said in our defense.

"Do the two of them have fights at home?" asked Mr. Morgan.

"That is the thing. They never do. All the others have fights. You know how teenagers are. Specially, the boys get into all sorts of squabbles when they play base ball or other games. But this is the first time that I have ever seen Alice and Edward fighting. They are the youngest in the family and they are very close to each other."

"I guess you are right. I saw them in the outer office trying to clean each other off while we were waiting for you."

"Please don't be too hard on them. We will ground them when we get home." It was Esme who spoke up.

_This family sure loves each other. I guess Dr. Cullen and his wife have the right attitude when it comes to teenagers. I can see it in the two kid's faces that they regret their actions and now the whole family is trying to get them out of trouble. They look very close as a family. I wish all families were like them. _

"Ok. How about if I get them to clean up the front school yard and write an essay on discipline? I won't give them detention as I can see they both regret their actions. I feel it is highly unlikely that they would ever repeat such behavior. Both of them are very good students and have never got into trouble before so I can be lenient on them."

"Thank you Mr. Morgan."

The intercom buzzed. "Mrs. Cope, send the kids in."


	18. Chapter 18 Interrogation

**Edward's POV **

"Ok you two out with it." Carlisle had his I'm your parent you are in deep trouble look on his face. _And stop trying to read my mind Edward, you are not going to get out of this._

Alice and I looked at each other in desperation.

We were sitting in Carlisle's office.

Carlisle was sitting on the other side of the desk while Esme sat near me with Alice on my other side.

"May be you should explain Edward. I'll be right outside."

The little pixie was trying to make her escape. _"Edward I'm feeling very embarrassed. How can I discuss my brother's sex life with my parents?"_

Ok I got her point. When I couldn't discuss this how could Alice.

"Young lady you stay right here. I know you are involved in this as much as Edward. You two have been plotting something I feel it. And I want the truth. Start from the beginning."

At least Rosalie, Emmett and Jasper were out. Carlisle had sent them on a fools' errand to get some stuff for the garage. I think he knew we needed some privacy to discuss this. He knew what the subject matter might be and he was concerned for me. He didn't want to make things more difficult.

"I.. I think it's Edward's story. So he must tell you." Guess I owe it to the pixie to explain things. After all it was my fault we were here together.

**Carlisle's POV**

I can't help but enjoy this situation. I've always wanted to be a father and it is very rarely that I am needed to play the role with 100 year old kids. So I relish in such moments as these where they have to answer to me. In all honesty I do not want to embarrass the kids or hurt them in anyway. But something funny was going on and I cannot ignore it anymore. It is obvious that both my kids have lost the ability to handle it in a mature way. The humans were getting suspicious and I think it's time I intervened. I can see that Esme felt the same way. We can not delay the inevitable any longer. I wanted to give Edward time to come to me on his own terms when he felt more comfortable talking about this but I feel even he has lost control of the situation at the moment.

"Ok. Edward. I know this has something to do with Bella. I will help you out. I already know that she did not want to resume her relationship with you once we got back. I feel I can understand it to some extent. She must be feeling insecure about your love. I feel you will have to work at earning her trust again Edward. So I was happy that you were making progress when you went out on that date with her. I assumed you made some major progress that day but I feel I have come to the wrong conclusion. I think it is time that you enlightened me on what exactly happened and what has followed. Esme and I have some confusing ideas about what happened but we do not want to go on guessing as we feel it has reached a point where the co-conspirators are battling against each other. Am I right?"

"I'm sorry Carlisle. What happened today was entirely my fault and not Alice's. I pushed her in to the mud."

"Edward, I'm failing to understand a situation where you would do something like that to Alice. Well, once again why don't you start at the beginning?"

"I.. I went motor bike riding with Bella."

Edward shifted uncomfortably in the chair. I can feel that he was very embarrassed.

"Honestly Edward. We are just trying to help, we don't want any detailed descriptions of what happened."

Edward hunched forward in his chair, while Alice had a huge grin on her face. Guess it's time to get Alice to help out.

"Or would you rather explain it Alice?"

"Well, let's just say he had the ride of his life and then fell off the bike." Aha! We seem to be getting some where. Ok.

"What exactly do you mean Alice?"

"Well let's say he had the ultimate joy ride that made him forget to even hold on to the bike."

Edward covered his face with his hands. Ok. I think I understand and his soiled clothes provided the perfect explanation.

"It's ok no more explanations are necessary I think Esme and I have a good idea of what happened. So I guess Bella's psychological evaluation project, the air freshener project and the clothing project are all related to this?" I looked at Alice.

She was vigorously nodding yes.

"Ok. So we will continue to use those code names to keep Emmett and Rosalie in the dark. I guess there is no fooling Jasper is there?"

"None what so ever, he can read Edward's feelings very well." Alice was quick to respond.

"Now what has all this got to do with you two fighting in the mud today?"

"Alice didn't warn me today when she already knew what was going to happen." This time Edward spoke up.

"You mean you saw the fight Alice?" I asked her incredulously. I couldn't imagine Alice wanting to get all her clothes dirty if she already saw what was going to happen.

"No no Carlisle! I didn't tell him that Bella was going to see he had wet his pants in class."

Alice said loudly in defense and then covered her mouth in chagrin giving her brother a look of dismay. It was obvious she had spoken without thinking. Edward slammed his head against my table. Esme hugged him to her and he buried his face in her lap. Ok. He was beyond mortified now. I could get that. How was I going to handle this? I didn't want to put Edward through any more humiliation. I was actually happy that he was responding this way to a girl. Esme and I had both been afraid that I had turned him too young and he would never develop any sexual feelings for another being. The Victorian ideologies at the time had meant that the usual adolescent hormones were kept under tight control. I was sure that Edward had never even pleasured himself. I saw Edward shudder in Esme's lap and Esme gave me a warning glance. Oh! no! Had I just thought it? "_Sorry Edward."_ I knew Edward could read my mind so I decided I might as well have a private conversation with him, father to son.

"_I'm sorry Edward. I really am. I didn't mean to speculate about your private life. We were only concerned about you. And I want you to know that I do not believe much in the ideologies of the Victorian era. Repressing basic human needs is not the way to handle things. Procreation is very necessary for the continuity of human kind. Pleasure derived through it is also a way to ensure the survival of the species. There is no shame in it. You have to understand that. What you feel is very normal and your reactions are also normal. We as vampires are frozen into these bodies. Your reaction was the same as the reaction of a normal seventeen year old boy. With time and effort you will have better control of your urges. There is no need to be embarrassed about any of this."_

I saw Edward slightly nod yes. That's good. I should further reassure him.

"_Esme and I both understand it and I'm sure Alice and Jasper do too. They might tease you but it's just their nature as your siblings. If it gets too much for you to handle you can always come to me and I will warn them. But I'm sure Alice will not let anyone put you in a situation where you are offended. I know she cares too much about you to do that._

_Speaking of which…."_

"What exactly happened today?"

Edward finally looked up. This was good. He was getting over his initial embarrassment.

"Alice left the class room when I was in trouble and I had no way of escaping without any of the students seeing me."

"But the new clothing project would have seen to it that this type of an incident wouldn't happen right?" Now I was surprised. I remembered my conversation with Alice and the advice I'd given Edward.

"Well Carlisle the 'know it all over here' decided not to wear the new stuff! I warned him that he'll be sorry. But he just didn't listen. Did you Edward? None of this would have happened if he listened to me." Alice was now angry.

Edward hung his head. Now I understood. Poor Edward! Things were definitely working against him these days.

"So if Alice didn't help how did you get out of the situation?"

"Bella helped." Edward whispered looking at his hands. What? Esme and I were both surprised at that piece of information.

"I knew she would help that is why I ran out of the class room. It was an opportunity for them to bond together."

A small smile spread across Edward's face at this. He didn't look up from his hands and he looked very shy.

Oh! oh! things were going well for Edward.

"I take it Bella didn't find out anything on the motorbike ride but she found out today in class?"

"Yes." It was Alice who answered.

"That was really nice of her."

"Yes. Bella took him home after saying she was faint. She even got him to hold her in front of him to cover up hostage style and dressed him in a bed sheet which he snagged in the tree in front when Charlie came and washed his clothes." Alice talked non-stop at vampire speed.

Esme and I looked at each other in utter confusion at this bit of information. Edward once again had his head in his hands.

"What do you mean Charlie washed Edward's clothes? Does this mean I have to have a chat with the Chief of Police as well to calm matters down? Don't tell me you two did something to offend Charlie too."

"No no. Carlisle. Charlie only saw the bed sheet Edward was wearing on the tree in the front yard while Bella was washing his clothes when he jumped in through Bella's window."

Now this was getting more interesting and by now Edward was giving Alice a helpless glance as if to say he should have explained this.

"Ok. Edward. So let me get this straight. Bella got you to take her home covering up for you and then she washed your clothes for you? Am I right?"

"Yes."

"And she gave you a bed sheet to wear till they got dried."

"Yes."

"Now what happened to that bed sheet?"

"I.. I heard Charlie coming and went out to hide the Volvo then jumped into Bella's room in a hurry and and in the rush…. I …I …. snagged the bed sheet on the tree in the front lawn…."

With that he started laughing hysterically and Alice joined him. Both Esme and I were speechless. We froze in shock. How could Edward laugh at his own predicament? He must have had to go naked into Bella's room and had to cover up with something she had. Or had she caught him naked? And why would Edward find that a laughing matter?

"Carlisle …I… I….. was wearing …. underwear…."

Ok now it was Esme's and my turn to join them.

When we finally managed to stop laughing, I had to ask Edward this question.

"You.. mean to say Bella caught you in your underwear?" I couldn't believe that he would laugh at that. I would have been mortified if the girl I was trying to win caught me like that.

"No.. no. She thought I was naked. That's fine by me. I covered myself with one of her jackets while hiding in her clos..closet…. You should have seen her f…face…."

And he started laughing again. What? This time Esme, Alice and I all stared at each other. Since when was the Victorian ok with his girl friend thinking he was naked? He sure had changed a lot during the past few days.

Edward finally stopped laughing.

"Ok ok you guys. It was not funny at the time and I was beyond mortified. But when I saw her reaction I was elated. She was unresponsive to my advances all this time and this is the first time she had shown any interest in me. So I have decided to think of all this as a positive sign."

I patted Edward's back. He was beaming at me now. All the embarrassment gone, his eyes were gleaming and he had a hopeful smile on his face.

Esme hugged him and not to be out done Alice climbed on his back and hugged him from behind giving him a kiss on his cheek.

All was forgiven. I felt very happy and proud of my family. Esme held my hand while we watched Edward walk out of the room with Alice still clinging to his back plotting different ways to get Bella back. They were back together again. Bella had no hope what so ever of escaping these too when they put their minds together! I smiled. I hoped they succeed. My family will be complete if Bella joined us…. I couldn't ask for more.

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	19. Chapter 19 Cuddling in the rain

**Bella's POV**

School again. I have to get the rest of the notes. I had made sure to take all my pain killers and have a good meal before coming to school today. I had learned my lesson from yesterday. Getting the bed sheet down had been a problem when it started raining but I had managed to poke it with the broom through my window and get it in through the window. I could still feel myself blushing at the thought of Ed…I mean a person from the list naked in my closet. I'd had a peaceful day at Jake's garage he'd managed to get a new piece he wanted for the Rabbit and I watched him repair it. Charlie and I had dinner with Billy and Jake before driving back.

"Bella if you want I can tie a string in the back yard for you to hang clothes if you don't think the drier does a good job. It must be difficult to hang stuff on trees." Charlie had remembered yesterday's incident and offered to help me at breakfast.

"Yes dad. But I guess it's not necessary since it's raining here all the time and the sun very rarely comes out. We can maybe do it on days when it is sunny." He grunted at this and left for the station without further comment. I heaved a sigh of relief. Hopefully he forgets all about it after he gets to the station.

As I got down from the cruiser I searched for the Cullen's. The Volvo was there but they were not in their usual spot waiting for me. That was surprising. Mike saw me and came to me.

"Hey Bella, You missed all the action yesterday! You will never believe what happened, Alice and Edward fought in the mud right here in the car park and Vice Principal Morgan even called Dr. Cullen in."

"What? You are pulling my leg now right? They never fight. Sometimes the guys fight with each other and even Rosalie joins in but never Edward and Alice."

Mike's eyes grew huge at this piece of information.

"You mean the Cullen's also have fights like you know normal kids."

"Of course Mike. They are only human." I smiled to myself at my own little joke.

"Where are they Mike?"

"I think they are cleaning the front lawn."

"Ok. Thanks." He was going to say something more but I kept walking and saw Alice and Edward in the front yard.

They both came to me when I approached.

"What happened to you two?"

"It's his fault he pushed me into the mud." Alice was really upset. I could see she didn't really like getting dirty cleaning the front yard.

"What? How could you do that to your sister Edward?"

Edward looked ashamed. He kept his head down.

"Why did you do it?"

"She left me yesterday Bella if it wasn't for you…."

Oh! I got the picture. "But I knew you would help" Alice chirped up.

"Oh! Now did you?" I put my hands on my hip and turned to the shopaholic pixie.

She had the grace to look down. "I saw it.."

"And you thought it was ok to leave your brother…. like that knowing how easily he could get hurt?" Why was I defending Edward? He's the one who had pushed her into the mud and got them punished. Now it was my turn to get confused. Then I remembered something.

"Alice why did you want to get caught? Now you might even get detention."

"I … I didn't want to get caught. I was so angry with Edward I didn't even see Mr. Morgan make the decision to come to us."

"And what about you? You mean to say no one noticed you fighting until Mr. Morgan came?"

"Well no….. we were surrounded by the whole school." It was Edward who looked very sheepish now.

"What do you mean? Didn't hear their thoughts?"

"No Bella we were so engrossed in the fight that…."

I burst out laughing I just couldn't help it. I wish I'd been here to see their faces when they got caught.

"Bella we didn't mean to fight we are sorry. Now we won't be able to come for the first class with you." Edward looked upset.

"It's ok I'll get someone else to lend me the notes."

"Don't worry Bella we only got orders to clean up the front yard and then we have to write an essay on discipline. We've already written it. We are going to be in a class room near yours and we will write down everything we hear for you. You will just have to get the stuff she might decide to write on the board."

"I'll read her mind for that. Don't worry Bella we've got your notes covered."

"Ok you two. Get back to work then. I'll see you in the rest of the classes. You sure got off lightly. Why didn't you get detention?"

"Carlisle and Esme came and they sort of pleaded our case." Edward spoke up.

"Oh I see." I was just about to walk away when Alice's eyes glazed over. At the same time Edwards face became very worried. He was reading the vision she was having.

"What did you see Alice?"

"It's Victoria, Bella she's coming this weekend. You have to get out of here."

"Why should I do that? It would make sense for me to be the bait then it would be easier for you to catch her."

Alice shook her head. "Please change your decision to stay Bella it only ends in disaster as I can see. Try thinking of leaving I want to see what happens then."

"Where on earth would I go? And what about Charlie?"

"Bella you still have the two plane tickets Carlisle and Esme gave you for your last birthday." Edward reminded me and I cringed at this reminder.

"Ok let's say I took Charlie and went to Jacksonville will it change anything? I remember there were two tickets."

I could tell Edward was not that happy with this. Then I remembered that the open ticket was intended for Edward.

"Edward I have to take Charlie. My scent will surely lead her to my place and I can't leave him there."

"He can maybe go to La Push."

"No way I'm not leaving him and that's final. Ok. What do you see if I do get out of town?"

"Well I don't see what happens exactly but I see her running through the forest near the treaty line."

"Then we must warn the wolves. Can you tell Jacob Bella?" Edward asked me.

"Sure. Sure. I guess it will be nice to see mom after a long time and it's a good break for Charlie as well."

"Bella, can I come too? I don't want you and Charlie to be alone in Jacksonville. What if she comes there next? Or has some acquaintance who could follow you there? Please let me come."

I thought about this. He was right Charlie's gun was no match for vampire strength and it will be useful to have him along. I also didn't want Edward anywhere near Victoria.

"Fine. But I am not introducing you to my mother. She will eat you alive for what you did to me. And I don't think Charlie or Renee would really understand why you had to go to Jacksonville with me. It wouldn't make any sense to them."

"It's ok Bella. I'll hide outside. I won't be any where they can see."

"But then where will you…. Oh ok you don't sleep. Well I suppose it's ok. You can check into a hotel and change and stuff I guess."

Edward's face lit up. "So it's ok if I came."

"Ok sure. But I don't want Charlie or Renee to see you ok?"

"Ok Bella."

"I can see this working. It will be a bit cloudy in Jacksonville this weekend anyway and Edward can hide outside without shining."

"Alice why are you singing the national anthem in Mandarin? What are you hiding?" Edward was looking very puzzled at Alice.

Just then the bell rang.

"Ok you two. I'm off to class. Catch you in the next class. I'll have to talk to Charlie and some how get him to come with me. I know he has the weekend off this week. So it should work out."

We were all in Jacksonville. I had managed to get Charlie to come with me. I knew he also wanted to visit Renee for some time and it was not difficult to convince him because of the free tickets and the fact that they would expire soon. The thunder struck again. That stupid vampire! Couldn't he spend the night at his hotel or something? I couldn't bear the thought of Edward out there in the rain. Trust my luck that it would rain in Jacksonville just on the weekend that I decided to come here.

Well I'd better ask him to come in.

I locked my room door and slowly opened the window making sure not to make any sound.

"Edward…are you there?"

I was surprised when a face peered at me upside down from the top of the window. So he was on the roof.

"Yes Bella"

"Why don't you come in you are getting wet. Don't you have an umbrella or something? Didn't Alice foresee the rain?."

"Alice did see it cloudy so that was one of the reasons that made it ok for me to come."

"You are wet." I can see his hair dripping water.

"In case you didn't notice it's raining out here."

"Cut out the sarcasm Edward and get in here and dry your self."

"It's ok Bella, I'm not cold. I'm used to the elements. Besides I would wet your room."

"Shut up and come in." Annoying vampires!

He slowly slid in and closed the window. He was standing near the window dripping wet.

I pushed a small carpet under him and he stood on it.

"Get out of those clothes you are dripping all over the room. Here put your clothes in this." I handed him a plastic bag.

He looked at me in surprise. Then he looked down.

"Bella….I..I don't have anything to wear. I didn't bring anything because I was planning to just stay on the roof or the trees around the house. I just have a few items in my waterproof pouch."

Oh joy! There goes another bed sheet.

"Here put this on."

He still stood there.

"Now what?"

"Can.. can you turn around Bella?"

"Oh, sorry"

Now it was my turn to be embarrassed. Oh shit! Hope he didn't think I was going to try to get a free strip show from him not that I wouldn't have liked it. Oh! shut-up Bella! I admonished myself.

I heard the rustle of clothes and then Edward handed me the bag. I turned around and had the shock of my life. I had forgotten to give him a towel. Oh! shit! Parts of the bed sheet was now clinging to him. My mouth must have dropped open. Edward looked down at his body at my expression and quickly turned his back to me trying to wrap himself more tightly with the bed sheet.

"Here use this." I flung my towel at him and turned around to give him some privacy. I heard some more rustling.

"It's safe to turn now." I slowly turned to him. He was wearing the towel around his hips now and had the bed sheet also wrapped around him covering most of him. He looked like a wrapped up mummy for Christ's sake as if I would pounce on the Victorian. Looks like he was not going to take any risks. I had to smile at the look on his face. He was clearly embarrassed.

"Well now that you are dry I'll go back to bed."

I climbed on the bed and switched the light off leaving only the little bed side lamp on.

I must have drifted off to sleep.

I saw Victoria pouncing on me from above while Edward tried to put her away. I screamed as loudly as I can but felt a hand on my mouth. I struggled against it.

"Bella, Bella wake up. You are safe. I'm here with you. Victoria is not here love. Wake up."

Someone was whispering in my ear.

I slowly opened my eyes. I saw Edward leaning over me with his hand over my mouth.

I grabbed hold of him for dear life and he hugged myself tightly to his chest.

"Bella… it's ok I'm here love. No one is going to hurt you. I'm here love. Go back to sleep."

I closed my eyes willing the nightmare to go away. After a while I was feeling relaxed. Edward always had that effect on me. I was feeling safe and protected. I knew for sure he would not let anything happen to me. I must have slept some more but something must have woken me up. It was still raining but it was hot here. But I was not sweating. It was nice to have something cool next to me. I buried my head in the cold flurry …..what? Just in the nick of time I realized I had to stay calm I willed my heart beat to relax and then slowly focused on where I was. I didn't open my eyes but I was aware of everything that I felt.

My cheek was resting against something cold and flurry, Edward's chest… Edward's bare chest! Oh god! oh god! What do I do now? I was loath to move away. It was nice to have the cold pressed next to me. His arms were around me. I had slept with him this way for so long. Well not a bare chested Edward but guess it's the same and for once I was not cold I was too hot from the weather and his cold was very welcome. I regulated my breathing as if I was sleeping and started on taking the rest of the inventory of what was touching what.

Ok I had my hand on his forearm. That's fine. My leg was draped over his. What? Should I move it. No I guess not he might figure out I was awake. What was underneath? I can feel the material of the towel ok so he was still wearing the towel. So that means he's not trying to seduce me right? Ok what next…Holy…there was something hard pressed against my stomach through the towel. I decided I had better not try to analyse what that was. It was the rolling pin effect. So I could guess at the origin. Ok where's my feet. One foot touched something cold and hairy again. Guess it's Edward's leg. Ok. The other one was wrapped in the bed sheet. Fine. And I was fully clothed in my t-shirt and track bottoms. Not such a good choice for the Jacksonville weather but for once I was glad I brought them. I was also glad that I had not ended up sleeping in my panties and bra as I initially decided.

So now that I have all the facts what do I do now? Should I move? Or …. It felt really nice being held this closely and it was really cool and a good respite from the heat. I felt another kind of heat in my core but I decided I was going to ignore it. I had best get back to sleep. I willed myself to think of sheep. I felt tired and drained and finally I felt myself drift into nothingness.

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	20. Chapter 20 Are we decent?

**Edward's POV**

I've had a nice day in Jacksonville. I had trouble hiding from Charlie during our flight here. I forgot he was a cop and had extra senses. I heard him think that he saw me once. I quickly ducked into a gift shop and managed to evade him. I had to travel coach because Bella and Charlie were traveling first class with the tickets Carlisle and Esme had given. It was after a very long time that I had to sit cramped up with tightly packed humans. I had hunted right before boarding just to be on the safe side. I had trouble with a lady of about 40 years old trying to chat me up and I finally managed to pretend I was asleep to get away from her. She had some vulgar thoughts about how young men were better bed partners than older men. I tried to focus on Charlie's thoughts instead. They were clouded as usual but I could tell he was happy. He had ordered some liquor and was enjoying the first class treatment. I watched Bella through his thoughts and she was huddled in her seat catching up on some reading for class.

She never took a break from her studies if she can help it. Except for the time she spent with the dog. I resented him for the easy camaraderie they seem to have. I noticed that he always seemed to ask her if she wanted something and he was always upfront with her when it came to Victoria and other things that I would have never considered worrying her with. Bella seemed to appreciate this. I thought about this long and hard while on the flight. I realized I had been treating her more like an incompetent person who didn't know what was good for her who I needed to protect rather than and equal in our relationship. All the people in our family had very close relationships with their mates and they treated them as equal partners while I had not. I realized that I had always thought of Bella being a human as a mark of incompetency. I was ashamed of my beheviour.

When we arrived Charlie and Bella went home with Renee in her car while I took a cab. Alice warned me not to try to run any where in the city. I really missed the forests around Forks. It was cloudy till mid day when the sun had come out as Alice predicted. I had spent the day in the shade of a tree by the side of the house. Charlie, Bella and Renee had gone to the beach while it was sunny outside and Alice had assured me everything would be ok. I had had a few anxious hours waiting for them. I had no way of following them due to the sun. They had returned safely. They were all now in bed.

It had started raining in the evening. I didn't really mind the rain. I decided to stay on the roof since it was less slippery than the tree branch I was on earlier. I had not brought a bag with me except for a water proof pouch with my passport, money and some of the scandalous new underwear just as a precaution. Bella seemed to be awake. I could hear her moving around in the room. I listened to every move she made. She opened the window. Should I move to the tree opposite and try to take a look inside? No that's not nice. I'd be no better than a peeping Tom.

"Edward…are you there?"

I stopped breathing she was calling me. I looked into the window while still on the roof.

"Yes Bella"

"Why don't you come in you are getting wet. Don't you have an umbrella or something? Didn't Alice foresee the rain?"

What would I need an umbrella for?

"Alice did see it cloudy so that was one of the reasons that made it ok for me to come."

"You are wet."

"In case you didn't notice it's raining out here." I was a bit upset that she hadn't tried to speak to me once since we got here this morning. She knew I was here and could hear her.

"Cut out the sarcasm Edward and get in here and dry your self."

She's inviting me in! I couldn't believe my luck. I thanked the rain. But I guess I should make sure she really wants me to come in. I didn't want her to get in trouble with Renee for making the room wet.

"It's ok Bella, I'm not cold. I'm used to the elements. Besides I would wet your room."

"Shut up and come in."

What? Bella had never spoken to me in this manner. She sounded angry like she was scolding a small child. I sort of liked this dominant Bella. She was always so very obedient and used to do everything I asked of her.

I carefully went through the window and closed it and stood on the carpet Bella put beside me.

"Get out of those clothes you are dripping all over the room. Here put your clothes in this." She gave me a plastic bag.

She was joking right? Vampires don't get cold and I don't have a change of clothes with me. What now? Well better tell her the truth.

"Bella….I..I don't have anything to wear. I didn't bring anything because I was planning to just stay on the roof or the trees around the house."

"Here put this on."

Not another bed sheet! Well I guess I'd just have to do what she says. My clothes were really wet and if I wanted to stay in the room I guess I'd have to stay dry. I could put them on again when I leave the room. She was still staring at me. How do I go about this? If I move very fast will she be able to see me undress? She will still see a blur of movement…..and me without clothes…what if she catches a glance? I felt very embarrassed. What do I do now? If I ask her to turn around she might think I was a prude. But she's a lady and gentlemen don't strip in front of ladies. For that matter I have never in my whole life stripped in front of anyone. I don't think anyone has ever seen me naked since I was around 6. That was when I learned to wash and dress myself without my mother's help. I was feeling very self conscious. What do I do now?

"Now what?"

Oh dear she's angry with me. But I can't …I can't … let Bella see me naked.. guess I'd better ask her to turn around.

"Can.. can you turn around Bella?"

"Oh, sorry"

She blushed! Oh! She was embarrassed at the thought of me undressing. Had she wanted to see me naked? NO! My Bella would never want that. My deathly white skin must be very repulsive to her. I knew she liked me when I sparkled in the sun. She had told me I was looked beautiful. I quickly took off my clothes and put on new underwear and then wrapped the bed sheet around me to cover as much of me as I could. I handed Bella the bag with my clothes when she turned around.

The look in her eyes when she saw me was first one of shock then acute embarrassment. I quickly looked down. Holy…! The white bed sheet was partially transparent with the water and was now clinging to parts of my body. I was mortified. I have never been more thankful for the underwear! At least they covered the most indecent parts of me. I quickly turned around and tried to wrap the bed sheet in a less transparent manner. I was at a loss as to what to do. I couldn't just jump out the window… I wanted to stay with Bella but then again not like this. It was very impolite of me to even consider staying with this type of attire. I'd better get my clothes and then jump out.

"Here use this."

Bella threw me a towel and I saw her turn around again. I quickly took off the bed sheet and I wore the towel on my waist and wrapped the rest of me in the bed sheet. I'm sure I looked ridiculous but I didn't care. I was sure my Bella would never make fun of me in a situation like this. As long as Emmett didn't see me I was fine and I really wanted to stay in the room with Bella.

"It's safe to turn now." I called out to her. She looked at me thoroughly from my feet to my head examining me…. I felt very exposed and embarrassed as I stood before her although I was covered from head to toe in the bed sheet with the towel also covering more than half of me. I checked again nothing indecent was showing.

"Well now that you are dry I'll go back to bed."

Ha? After all this she was going to sleep. I was very disappointed. I had hoped she'd stay up a bit and talk with me… should I offer to sing her lullaby? I guess not. She must be hating it by now. I knew she didn't even listen to any music anymore.. It was all my fault. I had done this to her….. how I hated myself for the monster I was.

She didn't invite me to join her in bed… I didn't expect her to either not after what I'd done to her. She left her bed side lamp on. She quickly fell asleep. Her hair was spread across the pillow. She was glowing like an angel in the light of the lamp. How I longed to kiss her….. hold her in my arms… I remembered all the times I had watched her sleeping… I hope she talks in her sleep again….. like she used to. I haven't heard her talk in her sleep at all since I got back. I decided I should try to dry off the bed sheet. Renee might wonder how it got wet. So I draped it across two chairs. I also put my wet clothes to dry out in the clothes rack.

I must have watched her for some time when she turned restless. She was turning in the bed and was muttering.

"No Victoria.. no no…..no… don't hurt me…."

I went to the bed and stood near her debating whether to wake her and comfort her. Then I saw her open her mouth to scream and I quickly covered her mouth with my hand.

"Bella, Bella wake up. You are safe. I'm here with you. Victoria is not here love. Wake up." I anxiously whispered in her ear.

She opened her eyes and gave me a frantic look then suddenly pulled me to her. I almost fell on top of her when I landed on the bed with her. She wrapped her arms in panic around me and held on to me as if her life depended on it. So I cuddled her to me.

"Bella.. it's ok I'm here love. No one is going to hurt you. I'm here love. Go back to sleep."

She closed her eyes and went back to sleep. I listened to her heart beat slow down with her sleep. But she was still a bit restless and she buried her head in my chest. Her warm cheek against my coldness.. how I craved her warmth. I had never felt this much of warmth from her against my …chest…Oh god….I was topless…. I had left the bed sheet to dry and I was only wearing the hopelessly indecent underwear and the towel.

She was holding me very tightly to her. I had held her like this so many times…. But never wearing only a towel… I'd only ever removed my shoes and jacket when I got into bed with her. It was a totally different experience having her skin touch mine at places. I loved it. I was very aroused. Those days when I held her I had wanted her but I had known that it was impossible to have her. So it had only been a dream to me. But now knowing that I could have her like that it was much more difficult for me to control myself. Was it wrong for me to stay like this with her? I was very indecently dressed to be with a lady. For once I didn't care. I was feeling exposed and shy but I was with Bella and she was sleeping. So she didn't know of my state of undress and hopefully she wouldn't find out.

I planned to get dressed just before dawn. I considered putting my clothes on now it self but then I'd have to leave Bella's side since they would still be damp and might make her cold. I really didn't want to move away. It was so lovely to have her hold me like this. I simply couldn't work up the will power to let go off her embrace. Little Eddie was having the time of his life again. I had already had one release as soon as she hugged me to her. I only had the towel on so I felt so much of her against my bare skin it was too much for me to handle. I had shaken to my core with the force of my release but I had managed not to crush Bella and she had held on to me very tightly. I don't think she realized what happened to me because she was in such a state of panic and fear. I had comforted her and lulled her into sleep again.

Since then I had willed myself to stay calm. I had so far managed to avoid any further mishaps. Carlisle was right. I was beginning to get control over my desire. It was still hard and felt the desire for her more than anything. I hoped Bella would not wake up. My erection was pressed against her stomach and there was no way she would not notice it. I tried to pull away a bit to put some space between us so that she wouldn't feel it. She held me tighter to her body and flung her foot over mine. Now I was tightly pressed against her. I felt her nipples harden under her t-shirt when they came into contact with my bare chest. It was with the greatest difficultly that I controlled myself this time. I decided it was safer to stay still if I didn't want to wake her or make her hold me even more intimately. The other option of moving away from the bed was one I didn't want to even consider. I took a deep breath inhaling her scent…oh! It was so intoxicating. She was aroused.. Was she having a …wild dream? Or was it my proximity to her?

She didn't talk in her sleep at all. Oh how I wished she would talk so that I could know what type of a dream she was having….. Another thought struck me… was she aware of how intimately we were tangled up together in her subconscious? Was that why she was responding this way? I slowly placed a small kiss on her head. I dared not kiss her any where else. She trusted me to hold her and protect her when she got frightened. I would be a total cad to take advantage of her trust and enjoy myself in her embrace by kissing her while she slept. I would not do that to my Bella. I couldn't help my body's lustful response to her proximity… which she unintentionally created but I will not behave in a derogatory manner and demean her. I loved and respected her too much for that.

How I wished she would return my love… I would do anything for her…..be anything she wanted… I hoped and prayed that she would forgive me some day….Alice was going to help me with it….

At the memory of the little pixie I remembered how she had insisted I should not take any extra clothes. I was planning to pack two extra pairs of denims and t-shirts just in case my clothes got dirty. But the little pixie had insisted that I would do fine with only the clothes on my back since it was only to two days and a back pack would only make me more conspicuous. So I had only brought the little pouch with me. The conniving little pixie! No wonder she was singing in Mandarin! I shouldn't have listened to her and packed extra. I would have been able to change into one of those when Bella asked me to come in…. well….. on second thoughts… I felt myself smiling… you shouldn't bet against Alice.. at least this lack of clothing… had brought me closer to Bella… in indecent ways…. I was the worst possible monster! Was I actually rejoicing the lack of clothing? I couldn't believe myself! I was so messed up….. it was as if I just couldn't figure out the line between what was right and what was not….. I hope and pray that I would not act in anyway that offended my Bella.


	21. Chapter 21 Irresistable

**Bella's POV**

I was glad to be back in Forks. Victoria had managed to escape. She had run along the boundary line and the wolves and vampires had had a small altercation. Well specifically Emmett and Paul, and Victoria had used this opportunity to get away. Life sucked. With my luck I was thankful she didn't end up in Jacksonville during the weekend.

Thinking of the night we spent there brought back memories of the way Edward had held me.. I couldn't believe it… had it really happened? The Edward I had known would never have slept with me like that.. well this Edward had been missing from the room when I woke up. Only the bed sheet folded neatly on a chair and the towel in the rack were proof that he had actually been there. In typical Edward fashion he had disappeared when things got sticky.

Now I was angry at him for making me want him more and then pulling the disappearing act again. So I decided to ignore him and pretend that nothing happened. It seemed to work for the first two days after returning to school. I caught him staring at me on several occasions and every time I looked his way he would look down. He continued to sit with me and take notes for me. In other words everything was back to normal. Alice of course had this look in her eyes. One of speculation and I had no intention of asking her what it was all about. If she had seen her brother and me cuddling at least she had the good manners to not talk to me about it. I could tell she was dying with curiosity but I wasn't about to talk to her! If she wanted more information let her ask her stupid brother!

On the third day there was a marked change. I couldn't say it was for better or for worse.

The vampire kept staring at me even when I looked at him and then on the fourth day he had the audacity to smile….. that dazzling crooked smile….. I nearly chocked on my slice of pizza in the cafeteria and Angela had to give me a drink of water to stop the coughing.

"Bella are you alright?"

No one seemed to have noticed the cause of all the trouble but he had the nerve to grin at me and ask me whether I was alright! To actually give me that I know why you chocked grin! I've had it! He was flirting with me! And he was enjoying it at my expense. I knew it. I wasn't going to let it go. Well two can play the game. I knew his weakness. I formed a battle plan. As soon as I made this decision the little pixie gave me a huge smile. I quickly looked at Edward to see whether he picked up anything from Alice's mind but he seemed oblivious.

Alice and I had the next class together. I started writing on a piece of paper so that she can read it. I wasn't going to risk Edward hearing my little plan. I'd rather have kept Alice in the dark but I needed her help if this was to work.

"Alice you know what I have in mind don't you?"

"Yes! Yes Yes!... Shopping Yippie"

"Hey you have to keep this from him ok? I know you can keep him out if you want to and you have to help me out here."

"Sure Bella. Anyway it's time my brother learnt a lesson. You don't just sleep with a girl and leave her in the morning without a word."

WHAT? Ok. She had seen it. Never mind. Well he had slept with me.. well at least I had slept and he had been there. So it counts. He deserves what he is going to get!

"You have to make sure that he doesn't know about this. How are we going to evade him and go shopping?"

"I'll pretend to drag you with me for one of my shopping trips. And we can take Angela along. He would feel uncomfortable coming if I keep thinking of all the underwear we are going to help Angela buy!"

"You really are a genius Alice!"

"Let's go today I'll pick you up at your place after school with Angela she's going to agree to go with us. I've seen it. I'm glad I have my own transportation now."

So that's how I ended up with some really sexy stuff; some tight fitting skirts, jeans and tops. I don't know why I decided to buy new underwear but I just couldn't resist it when Angela actually went on to buy some for herself! Well we wouldn't be lying to Edward at least.

I carefully dressed the next morning. Edward and Alice were waiting for me when Charlie dropped me off. The look on Edward's face was priceless and the Cheshire cat smile on Alice's face confirmed that my little plan had succeeded. His jaw was literally hanging open. I wasn't wearing anything indecent but the skirt hugged my hips and the red blouse I wore showed my curves in a very sexy yet innocent manner. Alice had explained to me that it was not the amount of skin I showed that would count it was the way the clothes draped on me and the subtle hint of what was underneath that added to the mystery which was the key to making me look sexy. Specially, in Edward's case. In the early 1900's they even thought showing a woman's ankle was sexy for crying out loud! Anyway I was never going to play the sexy bomb shell and if I even tried, it would have only repulsed Edward. So I was going for subtle and mysterious. And it was working.

I could feel his eyes on me all day. When I chanced a look I saw they were black. Not the way they would look when he was hungry. This was the look he had given me when he had had his release in class. He was hungry for me not my blood. And I was really enjoying it! I chanced a glance down his groin and saw that he had his jacket draped in his hand and was also holding his books in front. Ok. He was having trouble. Great. I decided it was time to give him a hint. It was not fun playing without him knowing what I was up to.

I looked right up at him and stared at him; then I winked. He looked at me in shock. I saw first surprise…confusion and then understanding in his eyes. For a moment he looked embarrassed. But then slowly that dazzling smile spread across his face….good he knew. But the problem was now I found it difficult to look away from his eyes. Great! Way to go Bella. Thankfully Alice pulled my hand and got my attention at that time. The next day was Saturday. I was sorry it was the weekend. I would miss my little game. It was sunny so I decided to spend the day at La Push beach with Jake and try to get a tan. I would hopefully look more alluring with a tan.

**Edward's POV**

I was feeling awkward facing Bella that first day after getting back from Jacksonville. I had escaped from the room just as dawn broke. I felt ashamed of my behaviour the night before. I should never have continued to hold Bella like that to me. It was improper. She had been totally unaware of what was happening and I had taken advantage of it. I couldn't face her in the morning. I thought of waiting for her to wake up and apologizing but then realized that she wouldn't even know what actually happened. I didn't really know how I was going to explain it to her without sounding like the worst pervert in history. So I decided to take the easy way out and pretend nothing happened. It was easier said than done.

I couldn't keep my eyes off her the next few days in class. I looked away when she caught me looking but I noticed she blushed when she looked at me. So I decided to be bold and continue to hold her gaze after she caught me staring. I even worked up the courage to smile at her. She must know I was flirting. I had seen human boys do it and decided it was ok to do it with Bella. I loved her and I was serious about having a relationship with her. It was courting in modern times. I nearly laughed out loud when she chocked on her food when I smiled at her. Oh! I was affecting her. She even blushed bright red. I was happy at this new proof of her attraction.

The next day I had the shock of my life. Bella looked stunning in a figure hugging skirt and blouse. I couldn't tear my eyes off her. I knew Alice had gone shopping with her the day before. May be she got this during her trip. I didn't care I was too busy admiring her. Edward junior also made an appearance and I had to use my jacket as a cover. I wanted so much to hold her tightly to me. Images of the way we cuddled were on my mind the whole day with the warmth and her intoxicating smell as reminders. It was with great difficulty that I kept my hands to myself without touching her. I knew one touch was enough to send me over the edge and I might even end up making love to her on the class room floor. I was thankful that I had continued to wear the new underwear. I'd already had one mishap when I first saw her in the parking lot. So far that was the only instance and I was holding on to my control.

We were in the hall way when Bella stopped suddenly in front of me and turned and looked at me right in the eye. I realized she had caught me staring at her again. But what she did next puzzled me. She winked at me! It was so unlike Bella and I was astonished at first. Then confused; But the slow smile spreading across Bella's face finally made me understand. She was flirting with me and was purposefully making it uncomfortable for me! She knew I found her very attractive and now she was flaunting herself in front of me to entice me. I was mortified! Did she know what I was thinking? That I was fantasizing about making love to her?

Then I realized she knew! At least she knew of how attractive I found her. She might have even known that we had intimately held each other that night. Was she trying to punish me for not admitting it? Well although I felt embarrassed I was also happy. I was getting some where with Bella. She was opening up to me. Well she was actually trying to flirt! I couldn't help smiling.. She smiled back and we stared at each other for a long moment. I didn't talk and she didn't either. We both knew what we were up to. I guess that was what counted.

I cursed the weekend and the sun that Alice had predicted. So I couldn't even visit Bella with any pretext of helping with her home work. I decided to go hunting. I couldn't wait for the weekend to be over to see my Bella again on Monday.


	22. Chapter 22 Punishment

_**I would like to thank ECISLove2010, elaine67 and Jake's girl for their reviews. It is your reviews that make me want to continue with this story. **_

**Edward's POV**

She looked stunning; absolutely stunning: the way her hips rocked when she walked towards me. I wanted to put my hands on them and pull her to me and ravish her beautiful mouth. She was wearing a tight fitting pair of jeans today with an olive green top. The top had a deep cut neck but a little piece of lace covered it partially. I wanted to pull that piece of lace aside to get a better look…. I was acting like a pervert. I had to stop this.

"Hi Bella, How's your hand today?"

Alice was quick to start with her never ending chatter with Bella.

I took the opportunity to take her bag from her. I couldn't help my hand from lingering on her arm. The electric shock passed between us in that split second. I knew Bella felt it too since she looked up at me but I pretended nothing happened and concentrated on the conversation.

Just then Bella stumbled and I used this opportunity to hold her by her arm. I usually let go after she regains her footing but I decided to keep holding her hand. I simply couldn't bear the thought of letting go of her. She felt soft and warm against my icy palm. She gave me a questioning look again but I continued to ignore her. She didn't pull her hand back and I continued to hold it.

When we got to class I sat next to her again. I had to let go of her hand and I did so very reluctantly. But I couldn't bear the separation from her touch… I slowly edged my chair towards hers till my thigh slightly touched hers. She didn't show any response to this so I guess she didn't notice it. Good I had managed to get away with it. I was very happy. I did the same during the next couple of classes we had. And in between classes when we walked in the hall ways I kept a casual hand on her either on the small of her back or her shoulder as if to prevent her from falling. Bella didn't seem to notice. It was so nice to touch her this way. I wanted more… much more. I'd never been an exhibitionist but when I was going out with Bella we had held hands to class. Many of the students did much more than that. But I was not comfortable with showing my affection to Bella in that manner in public so all of our more passionate kisses had been when we were alone.

**Bella's POV**

Edward had been acting a bit weird lately. He had also started wearing very sexy tight fitting t-shirts. I had wanted to touch his chest many times and barely restrained myself. And I could have sworn that he was purposefully touching me. The first day it was just small accidental touches. Well he had held my hand all the way to class from the car park. Then his thigh touched me when he pulled his chair unusually close to mine. He repeated this behaviour in all the classes we had together. I didn't acknowledge it. The next day he put an arm around my waist when I stumbled and kept it there. I could feel his thumb lightly rubbing over my side. I felt electric prickles every time he moved his thumb.

On Wednesday he even boldly moved the hand on my waist and put it around my shoulders when he held the cafeteria door open for me. I could tell he was enjoying this. If anyone had any doubts about whether Edward and I were going out now they were put to rest. I could see a look of speculation in Mike's eyes and a look of happiness in Angela's. I was angry now. Edward was showing off. He was acting like he was my boy friend without my permission. I had said we can be friends. But I hadn't said I'd go out with him again. I know there is an undeniable physical attraction between us. We had both silently acknowledged that. Hell I had gone out of the way to provoke him. May be this was his way of getting back at me. Well I'll show him not to mess with me.

I had to have a plan of action. First I had to make sure Alice did not catch this. Ok. I had to think of my list again. I was going to teach a lesson to a person in my list. Alice looked up at me in surprise. Ok it was working. She must have seen part of my future actions disappearing. What I was thinking of doing is going to be way out of line. And I wasn't really sure how Alice or Edward would react to it. I knew that Alice was modern enough with her fashion sense but I wasn't sure about what she thought of public displays of affection. She and Jasper had never been overly demonstrative of their affection in public. They had had these intimate starting into each others eyes thing that seemed very private. But other than that they had only held hands at school. I've seen her kissing him at home but there was always a certain restraint in their demonstration of their love.

So I was not going to take a risk by letting her know of my plan. It was important to me that she didn't prevent me from carrying out my little stunt. I knew it was not my usual thing but what the hell I was not the girl I used to be. And Edward had been provoking me. First cuddling me so intimately in Jacksonville; then, pulling the 'disappearing act' when I would have loved to have talked things over with him in the morning; and then the staring competition; and now the 'I'm going to melt your bones competition'. Well I know how to play. Just you wait you .. you.. Victorian you ain't seen nothing of the modern age yet. I was brought back from my day dreams by Angela's voice.

"Are you ok Bella? You haven't eaten anything and you seemed to be lost in thought."

I saw the know it all give me a 'I know what you were thinking about smile'. Oh! he was going to get it. He totally deserved it. I gave him my most sexy smile. At this he looked a little surprised but returned my smile with one of his dazzling ones. Oh! how I hate vampires and their dazzling smiles. It was unfair to have so many weapons at their disposal. I was going to roast him alive. My blood was boiling with all the pent up emotion and lust I was barely holding on to.

Now it was Alice's turn to look puzzled at me. Oh! Great what had she seen?

"Are you alright Bella?"

She looked at Edward too and then he also seemed to be puzzled. The two telepathic creatures! How I hated their silent communication! These two should join the CIA or something and leave us poor humans alone. Their skills would come in handy much better there. I was boiling over now. I put on my poker face, I had become quite good at it. I knew that my face would look emotionless. I hoped my eyes didn't give me away. I was seething inside.

"Why Alice what's wrong?"

I gave her my sweetest most innocent smile.

"It's just that your future disappeared for the rest of the school day. You are ok right?"

She sounded concerned.

"Of course I'm fine Alice. I was just thinking of Jake it must be why you can't see me."

I managed to give her a genuine smile. I saw the know it all's face fall. Did I hit a nerve? Now I felt sorry for him. Oh for crying out loud. What was wrong with me? I wanted him to be jealous right? May be I shouldn't carry out my stupid plan. What if he was uncomfortable with it and got hurt? I was in two minds about it when we got up to go back to class.

Immediately Edward started helping me up from my chair and just put his arm around my shoulders again and leaned in to me giving me his dazzling smile. I saw Mike staring at us and the jealousy on Jessica's face. That did it! The little flirt was going to get it.

We went to our lockers to get out our books for the next class. I opened my locker and then selected the books. I left them inside and turned to look at Edward, he was getting his books. Ok he was distracted now was my chance to execute my plan. I grabbed hold of him and turned him around and pressed his back against his locker. He let me move him I think it was because I caught him by surprise. I looked directly at his eyes and pulled his head down to my lips and started kissing him with all the pent up frustration I had in me. I pressed my body against him wantonly not caring about anything else. I had never kissed him like this before.

His arms came around me. I pressed against him. Oh god! He was erect. I felt proud that I had been able to arouse him with just a kiss. I was more surprised when his hands pressed me against his chest. It was a moment later that I felt his hands moving down my body and he touched my butt pulling me against his erection. Oh my god! Was Edward really doing this? There was no mistake he was moving me against his now very prominent erection. He was grinding into me and I did the same. I ran my hands through his hair. How I loved his hair. I wanted him so much and I could feel that his desire for me was the same. I deepened the kiss and sucked on his bottom lip. I felt him shudder against me and I felt his erection twitching. Holy shit! Did he just release? He was panting against my lips. Now, I was feeling really elated. I thought his erection would go down with the release but nothing like that happened. And it still kept pressing against me. I could tell he was huge. Oh my! I pressed more tightly against him and rubbed my aching boobs against his chest. He moaned.

It was the unearthly sound of his moan that brought me back to earth. Goodness grief I was molesting Edward in the hallway at Folk's high in front of all the students. And he was letting me. I could tell he was equally lost in our passion. I quickly pulled away and got my books and made my escape. I couldn't even look at him. God! What had I done? I had executed my plan to perfection. I had set out to make him loose control and sort of get lost in my kiss but what had happened to us both was way beyond our control. I was scared now.

If Edward's moan had not broken through my passion filled mind I would have removed his clothes and mine and made love to him in front of the lockers with our little audience. I don't know how I managed to get to our next class. I had it alone with Edward. He wasn't there when I got to my seat. I took deep calming breaths and months of control over my emotions let me bring down my heart beat and regain some sort of normalcy. I will not go to analyse what happened right now. I was going to forget it ever happened and concentrate on class. We were half way through class when I saw Edward walk in and sit next to me. I didn't dare look at him and he didn't push his chair closer to mine as he had done these past couple of days. I saw him take notes other than that he didn't attempt to talk to me and I didn't either. I hoped I didn't scare him away. It must have been frightening to him. Oh god! I felt ashamed. I knew Edward was more than a hundred years old but this was all new to him. I hoped he didn't feel he was violated or something? What had I done?

**Edward's POV**

She had grabbed me and kissed me. Not just kissed. She had kissed me very passionately. At school. In front of everyone. And I had responded. Her hands had been pulling my hair and holding my head against her lips. She had given me an open mouthed kiss. Sucking at my lips and I had licked her lips. I was not able to resist doing it. Her soft breasts pressing against my chest. Her nipples were erect. I had felt them. She had pressed her self against my erection and I had grinded myself …. against her. I had smelt her arousal much more strongly than ever before. Her warmth radiating from her core. The feeling I had got at that…I couldn't find the words to explain the pleasure that had coursed through me. I had released then and there. I had had no control over it. I had never experienced such pleasure. It was better than all the times I had had my release before. This time I'm sure she had felt it. She had pressed even closer if that was even possible. I couldn't help thrusting against her when I came. Oh god oh god. Every line of her body had been pressed against mine. I had never imagined that holding a woman's body against mine would bring me so much pleasure. I had pressed her upper body against mine while pressing her bottom half against my…..oh what had I done? I must have been out of my mind.

But …but she had been the one to press against me like that first… but that was no excuse to take advantage of her like that. We had been playing with fire. Teasing each other with our clothes. I had deliberately worn t-shirts that could be called sexy. And the way I had been touching her… I should have realized that sooner or later one of us or both of us would loose control. I was glad Bella regained control and broke the kiss when she did. A moment longer and I would have ripped her clothes from her and made love to her then and there in the passage way in front of everybody….. oh god we had an audience. It was then that I began to hear all the shocked thoughts around me.

"_Oh my look at his erection. He looks huge… I always knew that such a mouth watering body had to come with a huge…. But this is massive…. I would go down on him and ….."_ I looked up in shock at Lauren and she licked her bottom lip. Yuk. I looked away and caught Jessica's eye.

"_He looks so sexy his eyes look dazed… and that sexy hair.. I would run my hands through it while I released his …. It looks big…it's straining against his zipper…" _

I quickly looked down and saw the cause of all this speculation. I turned around mortified. Oh dear lord! The whole school had seen my …thank god the zipper held! I grabbed my jacket from the locker, while holding it to cover the huge bulge in front I pretended to look for something in the locker. I tried focusing on other thoughts around me hoping that we hadn't been that obvious. I knew Lauren and Jessica almost always had this type of thoughts when they looked at me so I focused on safer thoughts. Angela's were the most kind so I focused on her.

"_Wow what a kiss. I wish Ben would kiss me like that." _

Angela was thinking. Sweet little Angela had a naughty side to her after all. Who knew! She didn't think anything bad about the kiss. Well that means we hadn't acted like sex crazed lunatics. That was something.

"_Oh man, he has a package to go with that body of his. I don't have any hope of winning Bella now. But what a lot of passion! My god! I would never have imagined she had it in her. She would be an amazing lover….. I would…" _

I felt like wringing Tylor Crawley's neck but decided against it at the last minute.

"_So Bella is back with him. And from the looks of it they are sleeping with each other. Oh well. I guess I will have to make a graceful exit from the scene. If they could kiss so passionately in public.. he must be satisfying her very well in bed. He looks like he is also totally taken in by her from the way he looked and the very obvious reactions he showed. I wish I had that kind of power over Jessica." _

Just this once I felt sorry for Mike Newton. He was remembering his failed attempts at getting a good response from Jessica when he made love to her. So they were sleeping together? I guess I shouldn't be surprised. In this day and era it was normal for teenagers to have that type of physical relationships.

But Bella was special. I had just tarnished her reputation by kissing her in public like that. I had to apologise to her. I would go to her tonight and talk with her and beg for her forgiveness for my reprehensible behaviour.

_**Please review and let me know what you think…. It is your reviews that keep me going. **_


	23. Chapter 23 Did that just happen?

_**I would like to thank ECISLove2010, shannoninn369, elaine67, nicolleio and Rbeccap for their reviews. Hoping to hear from you on what you think of this one**_

**BPOV**

I'd spent a restless afternoon. Jake and Charlie had both thought something was really wrong with me. I had told them that my hand was hurting and had come to bed early. I couldn't believe what I had done! And I can just imagine Edward's response to all this. I remembered all the times that we had kissed and he would pull back whenever I went too far. Too far then would have only meant that I had pulled on his hair too much or put my arm around him too tightly! What I did today would I guess earn a total break-up or something!

Will he leave again now? He might….. I got a sinking feeling in my chest at that… but Alice had promised me that she would never ever leave me again and I trusted her. Even if he left I would still have Alice…. I felt tears stinging my eyes. I am sure he would think this was really bad behaviour and try to distance himself from me. But but…he was the one who wanted to be friends with me…. but I went way over the friendship line…. I practically raped him in front of everyone. A shy Victorian with out dated morals! He must have felt humiliated and that is something I never intended to do. I had only just wanted to get a ruse out of him for all the touchy feely things he'd been doing all day. That was some kiss though! I never thought Edward would be so passionate. Making love with him would be….

I was brought out of my day dream by a musical voice coming through the window.

"Bella, are you there? Can I talk to you?"

Oh god! oh god! he's here. Has he come to say good bye again? …..

"Edward can you give me a minute?"

I had started locking my window and pulling the curtain closed at night since Victoria had decided to come to Forks. The wolves had been guarding around at night and now the Cullen's were on guard duty along with them. I didn't want anyone to catch any unnecessary glimpses of me while I was sleeping. I wanted some privacy. So I had put heavy drapes and started locking the window. I'd even got Jake to get my room sound proof so that they wouldn't hear me sleep talking. I am not sure how well it worked with their sensitive hearing but I couldn't hear Charlie snoring at night now. Jake had assured me that he has never heard me talking in my sleep. So I guess I'd stopped that habit. If Jake wanted to talk to me he had always done it during the day. I just hope no one had x-ray vision! With these crazy mythical creatures you never know. But anyway they had all respected my privacy so far.

I looked down at my clothes. I was wearing one of the beautiful nightgowns that Alice and I had picked out. They had had them on sale three for the price of two and I had grabbed three in different designs. They had lace in them and looked very girly. In fact Alice said I looked very pretty in them. I'd never worn night dresses to bed. I'd always worn my comfy pants. But with my wardrobe change I'd gone all out and decided what the hell if I'm doing this I'll do the whole works. What should I do now? Will Edward think I'm provoking him further if I keep this on? I wasn't wearing anything underneath it. I didn't want to change. Well, I guess I could put on some underwear and my over coat. I grabbed some panties and a bra and climbed into my wardrobe and quickly put them on. I didn't want to have to rush to the bathroom to change it would take too much time. After pulling on the matching over coat I opened the lock and quickly climbed into the bed and covered myself with the bed cover.

"You can come in now. I'm sorry you caught me by surprise."

I felt a rush of cold air and then I saw Edward standing on the further most corner in the room from the bed. I was glad Charlie was doing the night shift today. If we had to talk from that far I was sure he would have heard us even with the sound proofing. I looked at Edward. He was looking at the floor. So not good! He's definitely regretting the kiss and it looked like he was upset. Was he waiting for me to talk? What do I say?

"Did you hunt?" Shit! That's a wrong thing to ask! Now he'll think I'm scared of him if he had not hunted.

"Yes during the weekend. Since it was sunny I spent the time in the forest."

Ok thank god for that. He didn't sound offended. I tucked the bed cover more closely to my body. He still didn't look up at me. So now what? Things were getting very awkward. Edward had spent so many nights in this room alone with me but I had never felt uncomfortable like I did now. We'd never had such a distance separating us before. It was as if he was trying to put as much distance as he could between us. Well I wasn't going to start another topic of conversation he can talk he's the one who came for a visit. I couldn't just ask whether he wanted to talk about the kiss now could I? He'd completely flip over! Well he might offer to give you another sample a small voice inside me was murmuring….may be he came to get another one…. Yeah right! He wouldn't even look at me let alone ask for a kiss!

It must have been nearly five minutes since I last asked the question about hunting when he finally spoke. Stupid vampires and immortality! Time doesn't seem to mean much to them. Guess they could go without talking for days on end.

"Bella, You must be wondering why I invaded your privacy and came uninvited to your bedroom. I'm very sorry if I made you uncomfortable by this. I just wanted to talk to you in private and didn't want to do it at school."

Ok. He didn't want Alice to hear. I get it.

"It's ok Edward."

"Please accept my sincere apologies for my conduct this afternoon in school. My behaviour was reprehensible I should never have behaved that way with you. I tarnished your reputation. I don't know what I can do to remedy the situation. I'm so sorry Bella. It was inexcusable of me. Please please.. forgive me I'm..…"

I couldn't stand it anymore. He thought he was to blame for the fiasco when it was all my fault. I should have realized he would take the blame. He was always so good at doing that.

"Edward please stop. It was all my fault. I'm the one who behaved inappropriately. I'm the one who kissed you. I'm so sorry. I was just trying to get back at you for flirting with me. Honestly I didn't expect it to get so… so… out of hand."

Now I was the one blushing and apologizing.

"No Bella, at least you had the good sense to walk away when things got too.. too.. you know what I mean. But I was totally lost. I lost control Bella. I'm so sorry. I will understand if you find me very repulsive from now on. I can't even begin to explain to you how much I regret my behaviour. I even….. god….. I'm so sorry Bella. I was a total Cad… I .. I…"

Guess it's time to be honest.

"Edward you are not the only one who got carried away. I was also completely lost."

I must be blushing beet red by now. I didn't care. I just wanted him to know what really went on.

"Then how did you walk away when you did?"

Oh here is comes. Well I was going for honesty. I just hoped vampires don't faint or go into shock.

"I aha.. I heard you moan…..and…and…."

Edward covered his face with his hands and gracefully sank down on to the floor near the window.

Shit! Is he crying? But he wanted to know the truth. What do I do now?

"Edward are you alright?" No response. He was stock still like a statue.

Now what? I guess I should give him some time to recover. I waited while looking at the bed side clock. I watched the time go. Ten minutes. No change. I was getting impatient. Should I call Alice? I realized she would have already called Edward on his phone or me if something was seriously wrong or dropped in through the window. Another five minutes passed. Nothing doing. Well I'd had enough of the dramatics.

I got up from the bed and went to him. He didn't even acknowledge that I was near him. I touched his shoulder. No response. Now I was getting really worried. Was he breathing? No he wasn't. I was just about to go into panic when I realized that he didn't actually need to breathe. He had said it was out of habit that they breathed. So he'd forgotten to even breathe. Great! just great! He looked very vulnerable huddled in the corner. It was like he was hiding from the world. He's embarrassed! And I'd thought I was the one who should be embarrassed. How do I make him see that it was ok and I hadn't really thought anything bad about it? In fact I thought his moan was the most beautiful sound in the world….

I stroked his hair.

"Edward, please talk to me. I'm not upset honest."

I sat down on the floor near him.

"Please Edward you have to understand. I didn't find anything we did offensive. In fact…"

Oh what the hell. I'd go for broke.

"It was the most wonderful kiss you'd ever given me."

He suddenly looked straight up at me as soon as I said this. I almost fell back because his movement was so sudden.

"Don't lie to me Bella. I mauled you. I forced my attentions on you."

Now I was getting mad. This stupid idiot didn't realize how amazing that kiss was. I had been day dreaming about it moments before he barged into my room.

"Edward Anthony Mason Cullen, I will not have you spoil my memory of that kiss. It was the best kiss I'd ever had and I found it very pleasurable. Nothing you say will ever change that. So there."

"How could you enjoy something like that the way I was forcing myself on to you?"

He looked bewildered.

"Well did you enjoy it?"

"Yes. Well …"

"I enjoyed it the same way. I only wished we didn't have an audience and we could have continued with it."

"Bella you don't mean that." He looked at his feet. Now he looked embarrassed again. Swell!

"Yes I mean it and I was hoping some time we can have a repeat performance of it. Minus the audience of course."

This got his attention. He looked uncomfortable. He hugged his legs to himself, his arms tight around his knees. What had gotten in to me? I was making passes as Edward Cullen!

"Edward I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…." I was mortified. I'd just asked him for another kiss!

I saw a small smile creeping into his lips.

"I'd like that very much Bella….."

His voice was husky and low. I felt shivers run down my spine. Oh god oh god. He's turning on the charm!

It was my turn to wrap my arms around my knees and hide my face in my lap. What had I said! Shit! He must think I was trying to seduce him or something.

I felt a cold hand around my shoulders. Cool lips on my hair…..

"Bella…." The sound of his voice came from near my ear. "Can I ….hold you?" It was velvety soft. How can I refuse?

I automatically moved towards him. He took hold of me and pulled me on to his lap holding me tightly to him. I rested my head in his chest. He was stroking my hair. I don't know how long we sat like that. After a very long time I felt contented and relaxed.

"Edward I'm sleepy."

I started to move away to get up.

"Bella can I kiss you good night?"

I slowly looked up at him and looked at his beautiful face. He was smiling. I looked at his lips. He moved down and planted a gentle kiss on my lips. Oh no you don't! That wasn't even a proper kiss. I leaned up towards him and took his lips in mine. He didn't pull back he deepned the kiss. Oh god this was heaven. I pulled his hair to get a better grip, holding him tightly to me. He was crushing me to his body and hungrily devouring my mouth. I felt something nudge me. OH! He was aroused. Wow! And he didn't pull back but kept kissing me very passionately.

"Bella…..Bella I love you so much….."

It was like a bucket of cold water spilling on to me. Oh dear. Was I leading him on?

"Edward we should stop." He immediately pulled away.

I attempted to get up and he started to help me up and then stopped and looked at me.

"Bella I want to ask you something."

"Yes?"

"Will you….will you go out with me?"

"Ha?" Brilliant answer Bella.

"I mean like will you be more than my friend….. what I'm asking is… can I have permission to court you?"

"What?"

"I would like to take you out…. on dates….and and be your boyfriend… I think what we share now is more than what friends would share…. so .."

Did I want that? Yes I did… but that would mean I should love him right? I was feeling confused. I did care about him a lot. And I wanted him…. God knows how I wanted him…. But I don't think I love him…

"I would like that Edward. But…"

"Yes Bella?"

"I don't know what my feelings are towards you. I want to be honest with you. I really care about you a lot…. But I don't think I love you the same way you love me. I know that I… I want you. I'm sure about that. You already know how much…. But you have to understand that I really don't know what I feel for you…. I don't want to lead you on and then disappoint you…."

His face fell at this. But I didn't want to lie to him. He has to know what I was feeling if we were going to try to have a relationship. He held me to him a little more tightly and was stroking my hair. With his other hand I saw him touch the bridge of his nose. He was lost in deep thought. I knew that look. So I waited. After some time he turned to me and planted another soft kiss on my forehead.

"It's ok Bella. We'll take things as they come. Thank you for agreeing to go out with me…..it means a lot to me. I love you Bella, that will never change. Whatever happens I will always love you for an eternity. I'm willing to be with you in whatever way you want me. I just can't live without you in my life…"

I felt sad for all that we had lost. I knew I was not capable of trusting him the way I trusted him before. As for love I knew for sure that I didn't feel what I used to feel for him.

"Can I sleep with you Bella?"

I quickly looked at him. I couldn't help it I gave him 'the man wants to get in my pants right after he asked me out' look in my surprise.

He looked mortified at my look.

"No no. Bella I meant I .. I just… can I hold you in bed like I used to …"

I had to smile at this. Of course I knew what he meant but just for a split second my instincts had kicked in and I had given him that look.

"Oh it's ok if you did want to you know.. but I think we should wait for that don't you think?"

He gulped at this. Ok I was having a bit of fun at his expense. This new Edward was very entertaining and I knew just how to twist things to make it more interesting.

"I think I should sleep now Edward. And I think it's time you left."

I was actually very tired. I had been hyperventilating all afternoon after that kiss thing and I was totally drained.

Edward's face was anguished. I could tell that he had hoped that he would now get to spend the night with me again in my room like before. But I truly didn't want him to stay with me. I wasn't ready for things to go back to what they were. I wasn't comfortable with having him in my bedroom in my bed when I really didn't know what I was feeling for him other than this undeniable desire.

"Edward I agreed to try to be more than a friend to you but I can't promise you anything. And things can't just go back to what they were. I'm not comfortable with you holding me in the night anymore."

He looked sad and heart broken.

"Edward you have to understand that I need time."

"It's ok Bella. I understand."

He and I both got up from the floor.

"Good night Bella."

He placed a chaste kiss on my lips and I smiled back at him. He turned just before going out the window.

"By the way Bella I love your night dress. It looks very sexy on you."

Then he gave me his crooked dazzling smile and left. I stood there gaping at his back. I had forgotten all about my night dress. I looked down to check whether it was transparent. It wasn't thank god.

I knew the Cullen's were the ones on guard duty today so I assumed Edward would be spending the night at my place. I closed the window and locked it. Pulling the drapes closed. I took deep calming breathes to calm myself before going to sleep. I hoped and prayed that I wouldn't start sleep talking again now that I had opened up to Edward. I will have to check with the werewolf who'd be on duty tomorrow on that. I know the sound proofing would make it almost impossible for even a werewolf to hear me according to Jake but I didn't want to take the risk. I wanted my privacy and I wanted to make sure no one could hear me.

I didn't want Edward listening to my inner most thoughts. I really wasn't sure what I would say. I was glad he hadn't thought badly of me for my demonstration in the school hall way. On top of everything I felt guilty for not returning his feelings. I didn't want to hurt him any further. He had gone through enough today as it was with my little plan! But for once I was not sorry that I had gone through with it.

_**So what did you think ? Waiting to hear from you! **_


	24. Chapter 24 Making out

_**ECISLove2010, stephneanne, shannoninn369, elaine6, Rbeccap and Jake's girl thank you very much for your reviews! They have really helped me in my story line. Hope you like this chapter! **_

**BPOV**

I was looking forward to seeing Edward again today. To be honest I missed having him with me through the night. But I knew I was not ready for that. As I got down from the cruiser I searched the parking lot for them in their usual place. I was surprised and delighted to see Jasper. I had wanted to talk to him and let him know that I never blamed him for what happened at the party. I knew he must be feeling very guilty about it. I walked eagerly towards them.

"Good morning Bella." Alice ran forward and gave me her usual hug. "Look who came to see you today."

I turned to Edward. I wanted to see that crooked smile he gave me last night.

"Good morning Bella."

He touched my shoulder a little awkwardly and pressed a kiss on my forehead. What? No kisses on the lips? I was feeling very disappointed. I had hoped he would give me one of those passionate kisses at least a kiss on my lips. He smiled at me but it was not the sexy smile I loved. This one was more reserved. Something was up. I knew it. And why was Jasper here? I could only think of one reason. My blood was boiling I was so angry. Stupid vampires and their gifts! I knew Edward would manipulate the situation to his advantage. The two timing…. wait till I get my hands on him.

"Hello Bella, it's really nice to see you again."

I turned to Jasper. He looked very guilty. I really didn't want to take out my anger on him. Jasper held his hands behind his back and gave a small bow. I had to smile at his antics. He's playing the role of a proper Southern gentleman I guess. I couldn't help loving the Cullen's for their little quirks. They try very hard to blend into the modern day and age but their mannerisms sometimes gave them away. I guess it was not that apparent to an outside observer but for me it had always been fun watching their human charade which sometimes was more suited to the late 1800's or the early 1900's.

"It's great to see you too Jasper. So what brings you here today?"

I could see sadness in his eyes. He looked very ashamed. I realized why. I was feeling more and more angry at Edward for putting poor Jasper through all this.

"Bella I came to apologise to you for my behaviour on your previous birthday. I never got to say how sorry I am for all the trouble I caused… I am deeply …."

"Please Jasper. You don't have to say anymore. I never really had any grudge against you I think I forgave you right then and there itself. I know you couldn't help it at that time. I'm sure it will never happen again. So are we cool?"

I knew he could feel what I was feeling and thought about how much I care for him and how much he was like a brother to me.

A huge smile spread across his face. I could feel a lot of relief. I knew it was his feelings getting projected to me.

"Yes Bella we are cool."

"Can I give you a hug Jasper?"

I first looked at Alice and she nodded yes and then at Edward. I could see he looked a bit apprehensive but didn't try to stop me. Jasper was still smiling and he held out his hands. I slowly approached him and gave him a huge hug and a kiss on his cheek.

"That was long over due! Did you know that you are the only Cullen who I didn't get a hug from?"

"Yes I knew Bella."

"Well we have to make up for a lot of hugs then. Well I guess I'd better get to class it's getting late. Shall we?" I looked at Alice and Edward.

Alice bounced forward but Edward hesitated.

"I will just be a minute. I have to talk to Jasper about something. See you in class."

And he waved at me. He seemed distracted. So he wanted to know the feed back of his little research. I was seething inside now. I turned to Alice. She seemed to be in high spirits.

"Alice is something wrong?"

"No Bella something is right. You are going out with him again aren't you? I'm so happy we can be sisters again."

She hugged me and nearly lifted me off the floor in her enthusiasm. I saw several people look our way.

"Alice people are watching. Put me down. You can't lift a heavy person like me."

"Oh sorry I forgot. Anyway I'm so happy and now we ….."

"Alice give me sec. I need to talk to you. And this is very important."

She looked at the serious look on my face and nodded solemnly.

"Are you my friend?"

"Yes of course Bella."

"Will you always tell me the truth?"

"Yes Bella I promise."

"Ok then did you have another vision of Victoria?"

"No I didn't Bella. That's the thing I have these little glimpses of something going on in Seattle. You must have read about the killings there right?"

"Yes I have."

"But there is nothing solid. I would tell you as soon as I get a good vision. Trust me on this Bella. I have learnt my lesson. I will not hide anything from you ever again and I promise to be the best friend and sister you ever had. I will not let Edward get in the way of our friendship again."

"It's good to hear that Alice because I am going to ask you to do something for me."

"Whatever you want Bella."

"I want you to promise that you will not interfere in my relationship with Edward and that you will never ever lie to me."

"Of course I won't Bella. I love it that you are back together again."

"I mean Alice I don't want you to tell him of future visions you have of the two of us together; the way our relationship will progress ok?"

"Oh you mean you want me to keep him in the dark about what is going to happen between you two?"

"Yes Alice. I don't want his decisions to be based on your visions. For example let's say he wanted to take me out to dinner and wanted to see which restaurant I would prefer. I don't want you to help him if he asked you to scan visions of how I would react to each one so that he can select the best. I want his decisions to be based on what he knows of me and what he thinks I would like. Not everyone has psychic sisters to guide them and I want our relationship to be a normal one as much as possible."

"I understand Bella. No more psychic help! He's going to hate it but what the hell he should learn to make his own mistakes."

"I'm glad you agree. But I do want you to still keep a look out on security issues. If you have a vision of us getting into trouble you have to interfere and stop it ok? I mean not only in the case of Victoria but other trouble like your mud bath."

"Ok. Sure I'll help."

"And I want you to get the same promise from Jasper."

"Why would you say that?"

"Alice I know why Jasper came here today. He didn't come here to apologise to me. He came because Edward wanted to know what I feel for him. Am I right? Don't start lying to me now Alice, remember your promise?"

Her face fell. I could tell I was right. That two timing…..idiotic vampire. I was furious. She gave me a small nod to say yes.

"I'm sorry Bella. I promise you this is the last time any of us will interfere in things."

"Ok I believe you Alice. Now I need some security help. Which broom closet is the safest today after lunch?"

I saw a small smile spread across her face.

"I know you know Alice. And I know you've made use of them. I may be human but I do notice things like you and Jasper pulling off disappearing acts now and then."

"The one near the ladies room should be ok right after lunch. And Mr. Banner will be late today for his class. You should have at least 10 minutes of free time between lunch and the start of the class."

She was grinning like an idiot.

"Remember your promise Alice no warnings. And please do let Edward know if there are any…. I mean security breeches you foresee during the course of the … mission. But anything before that you can inform me, got it?"

"Sure Bella." She was beaming and looked really excited. I really hoped she wouldn't get any visions!

"And don't look at any visions you see ok? I know you can't help getting them but Edward told me once that you can sort of ignore the ones you didn't really want to see."

"Sure Bella. I will give you privacy. I'm not a voyeur and I really do not want to see my brother in action again! I saw enough yesterday." She gave me a sly grin.

The little pixie! I felt myself blush a deep hue of red.

**Edward's POV**

I had been surprised by what happened yesterday night and happy too. Bella had agreed to let me court her. She had looked so beautiful in that night dress. I could just make out her figure in the loose fitting garment. I had itched to pull at the little belt at her waist holding her overcoat together. I wondered what she wore underneath. I had seen a bit of lace peeking out of her neck line. How I loved the scent in her neck….. so soft.

I had been mortified when she told me that it was the sound of me moaning that broke through her consciousness and made her stop the kiss. I hoped none of the other students had heard it. They had not thought about it at least so hopefully they didn't hear anything. She had actually told me that she would like me to kiss her again without the audience. Someone had immediately stood at attention upon hearing that invitation. I had quickly shifted my legs and hugged them to me covering my erection from her. I felt ashamed at my immediate reaction to her words. Then she had apologized for it. It was so sweet. I knew my Bella would feel embarrassed at her slip of tongue and I had admitted my feelings to her in an attempt at easing the awkwardness.

I had finally got to hold her to me again. I couldn't believe it when she let me kiss her good night. The feeling of kissing Bella again was amazing. I had been unable to stop myself from declaring my love for her and she had immediately pulled back. I was so scared that she would retreat to her shell again but she had listened to what I wanted. I think this is the first time we really communicated out feelings for each other in an open manner since my return. I couldn't believe it when she said that she didn't love me anymore. I was sure that it was a lie. She was just punishing me for all that I put her through. I decided the best way to know for sure was to have Jasper read her emotions. I was angry at myself for not thinking of this before. I should have brought him on to the scene right after we returned. It would have saved me a lot of anxiety for Bella's wellbeing.

Bella looked happy to see me at school. I could tell she was surprised to see Jasper. I knew Bella would forgive him but I was stunned and scared when she decided to hug him. But Jasper assured me he was in control so I let her hug him. She had just gone off to class. Jasper's mind was a jumble of emotions so I really couldn't get what he was feeling from Bella so I decided to stay behind and ask him what she felt. He gave me a sly grin.

"Impatient aren't we? Well, she definitely felt desire. It was obvious she lusted after you."

"What about her feelings? Did she feel the same love she used to feel for me when she was around me those days?"

"She cares about you. She really loves and cares about Alice I could tell it when she hugged her. She was also very happy to see me. I think she loves me a little too. She was scared that I would feel guilty and she had feelings of forgiveness and sisterly love in her mind towards me."

"But what about love for me?"

"I don't know how to tell you this…. But I guess I should be honest with you. Her love for you would be about the same she felt for Alice. She felt protective towards both of you and cared about you. She was also feeling a lot more lust for you than she had before. The way she looked at you when she got here confirms it. But as for love….. no Edward. The over whelming love she felt for you those days was definitely not there."

I felt myself crumpling….. the hole in my heart opening up…I held on to my chest. I felt a hand around my shoulders and calm and brotherly love surrounded me.

"I'm sorry Edward….. I didn't want to lie to you. Her feelings for you might still be there…. Buried deep but I can't recognize them unless she shows them. She still cares about you and is friends with you. That should count for a lot right? You can win back her love Edward. You both fell in love at first sight last time so you never went through the slow build up of love did you? May be this time you can take your time to court her and win her hand. You have another advantage she definitely wants you. And from what I read of your feelings and the things that have been happening to you, you also want her in ways you have never wanted her before. Don't give up Edward."

"I'll try" I heard myself promising.

"I'm sorry Edward. All this is my fault if I hadn't…" I stopped him there. I knew how deeply he regretted his loss of control. He had apologized to me so many times for it.

"It was my fault Jasper. What happened was a natural reaction for our kind. But I shouldn't have used that as an excuse and broken up with her. I should have valued and treasured and trusted in her love. Not thrown it back at her. She's my mate Jasper and I am going to do everything I can to make her mine again.

When I got to class Bella ignored me. I looked at Alice.

"_Edward she knows why you brought Jasper to school. She figured it out. And don't ask me anymore questions. I have made a promise to her not tell you of any visions I have of your relationship and I plan to keep that promise. So you are on your own."_

Holy shit! What am I going to do now? She really looks angry. Should I apologise? That will only make her more angry. Guess I should try to act normal. I slowly put my hand under the desk and touched her hand. She didn't pull it away but kept her eyes on the teacher. Her heart rate also didn't increase. This is really puzzling. Well I will just have to play it by ear. I felt really helpless. I held her hand when we walked to our next three classes. She still didn't speak with me. At lunch she completely ignored me. I still had my hand around her shoulders and she didn't remove it but didn't acknowledge it either. I guess it's time to apologise.

"Bella I'm sorry about bringing Jasper to school. I just had to know."

"Fine. Just don't do things like that again. So did you learn anything new?" She looked angry.

"Actually no. He just confirmed what you said last night. I'm so sorry Bella."

"It's ok. If you want this to work you have to learn to trust me. I have been truthful about my feelings for you. And I expect the same courtesy from you. I'm having a hard time trying to learn to trust you again Edward. You are making it more and more difficult with your little schemes. Please don't do that to me."

"I won't Bella. I promise."

"Ok fine." We were now walking past the girls rest rooms.

"Wait here." She rushed into it to have a human moment. I waited for her near the door.

She came running out a moment later. "I need your help Edward. It's an emergency. I need some cleaning liquid from the cleaning closet over there. Can you help me get it?"

"Sure Bella." Her heart rate was up. She looked really agitated.

"Can you hear anyone? I don't want anyone to see us going in there." We had just turned into the adjoining hallway leading to the broom closet.

"No Bella no one's here." I quickly opened the closet and switched the light on so that Bella could see.

Just then I heard the door close behind us and Bella grabbed hold of me and pushed me against the wall. And started to kiss me!

Good god. She got me in here for this… I couldn't believe it. My first instinct was to rush out. What if someone caught us? I didn't want another visit with Mr. Morgan the Vice Principal.

Bella was now pressing against me. Her softness against my hardness. I felt myself hardening immediately. I couldn't resist her. I kissed her back ardently. Her soft lips felt heavenly. I stroked her silky hair…. She felt so soft. She was sucking at my bottom lip. I took deep breathes while holding her tightly to me. I felt intoxicated by the smell of her arousal. Her hands were roaming on my chest. She was feeling me. It felt so nice to have her warm hands on me. The heat radiating through her body to mine warmed me all over. I rubbed my check against her hair giving her a moment to breath. Then I felt it; a tiny shock running through my right nipple. I looked down. She was squeezing my nipple. Oh good lord. Was it ok? Was it improper? She bit my other nipple through the t-shirt. I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips at the pleasure coursing through me. I couldn't think anymore. I could only feel. I could feel wetness from her mouth creeping through the t-shirt. I was going to loose control if she continued with this torture. I pulled her head back up and ravaged her lips. I touched her derriere and squeezed it pulling her closer to my need. I couldn't help it. I knew it was improper to do that to a lady but I had wanted to do that to Bella for so long. She had a very enticing firm behind and I had only ever lightly caressed it.

My nipples were now aching for her touch. I could feel hers very erect against my t-shirt. Would it be ok if I touched Bella's breast? I was debating whether to do this or not while running my hands against her back when I heard Alice yelling at me in my head.

"Edward, Edward…. Jessica and Mike are heading for the closet"

For a moment I was distracted. Then I realized what she meant. I had been so engrossed with Bella I hadn't heard their thoughts. Should we move? I really didn't want to. What would they think if they caught us like this? I realized that I really did want them to see that Bella and I were together. I wanted Mike Newton to know that Bella was mine and I wanted Jessica to stop having her offensive thoughts about me. We were decent. We had not removed any clothes and the wet stains on my chest could not be seen that well since I wore black today. I decided to stay where we were and enjoy some more of Bella's kisses. I lightly traced the line of her bra on her back. I knew she always wore one. In fact she wore one to bed. Was that normal? I knew other women didn't from the thoughts I'd heard. Hers closed in the back….. would I ever dare to unclasp it? May be some day…..

"Oh sorry! We didn't know it was occupied. Sorry if we interrupted anything." It was Jessica. She was looking wide eyed at both Bella and me.

I felt Bella blush deeply beside me. She looked questioningly at me. I shrugged. She must be wondering why I didn't hear them approaching.

"_My god they are doing it for sure. They both look as if they have just finished having sex. Her lips are swollen. She looks flushed and very sexy. Wish I could do that to her." _

Mike was thinking.

"_He's really going at it with her. Wonder whether I can catch another glance at his… Lauren said it was huge." _

Jessica really had a vulgar mind. I quickly pulled Bella in front of me before she could look down. I knew what she would find there and I didn't want her to see me like that. I wanted to share that part of me only with my Bella and I didn't want anyone else to have any speculations.

"Ahem.. we just finished you can have the closet. See you in class."

Bella quickly pulled me and started walking towards class. I didn't really want to leave the sanctuary of the closet. I didn't want our little interlude to end…. But I followed Bella to class. There are always other closets and other places that I could take my Bella to… my mind was going through all the possibilities.


	25. Chapter 25 Unleashed

_**Thank you Rbeccap, elaine67, ECISLove2010 and tracybuie for your reviews! I loved hearing from you! Hope you like this chapter... I tried to think from Bella's POV **_

**BPOV **

I was so mad as I pulled him towards the closet with me. I could feel the adrenaline rush through my body.

"Can you hear anyone? I don't want anyone to see us going in there."

It was very exciting to sneak behind the back of everyone. I'd never done something like this before and I've managed to get Edward to come with me. I'm surprised that he didn't question why I wanted to get cleaning supplies. Guess he doesn't have any idea about human toilets and how they are supposed to be cleaned.

"No Bella no one's here." I followed Edward into the closet and closed the door. I took a deep breath. It's now or never, without any further thought I grabbed hold of him and started kissing him against the wall. I could feel his surprise at first but after a moments' hesitation he gave in and started kissing me back very passionately. His cool lips felt like velvet against my lips. I sucked on to them. I rubbed my body against him but it was not enough I wanted to touch him. I knew exactly where I wanted to touch but I knew it would scare Edward if I attempted anything too outrageous so I decided I would try to just feel his upper body.

He had never really let me explore his chest before. I'd seen his bare chest once the day that he showed me how he sparkled in the sun but he had never gone shirtless again. I needed to remedy that situation soon. I felt a bit shy touching his skin straightaway so I ran my hands over his chest through his t-shirt. He was wearing a very tight sexy black t-shirt today. I could feel the hard corded muscles on his chest. I think he has a six pack. I slowly moved my hands upwards. I felt his nipple. Oh god it was erect! Do male nipples get erect like females when they are excited or was it just Edwards marble form making it feel like this?

I will have to google it. They looked very prominent through his t-shirt and I didn't notice them today in the morning when we were in the car park. May be they were erect. This was interesting. Will he be sensitive as I am on his nipples? I slowly squeezed the one in my hand. He shuddered. I couldn't help biting on the other nipple just to see his reaction. He moaned. Oh! he found it arousing. His erection also grew. I could feel it more and he was pushing into me. I was elated that he didn't immediately pull away. This means he is totally lost in his passion. Wow….. and I got him to do that. I knew for sure with his morals he would have found me biting on his nipple offensive. I really hoped he doesn't scold me about it when he is back to his normal self.

He started kissing me again hungrily. Did he just squeeze my butt…..I felt a slight…..oh yes he squeezed my butt! He just did it again and this time more tightly. The little cheek! I didn't know he had it in him. Oh so he liked stuff like that, well that means that he surely wouldn't say anything to me for the nipple biting. He pressed more deliberately against me. I felt the pleasure coursing through my core at the feel of his hardness against me. I wanted to rub myself properly against him but I was not tall enough. He pressed against my stomach and was grinding into me.

I was debating whether to climb onto something to get a better friction on the place I wanted it most when I felt his hands on my bra through my blouse. He was tracing it….. was he going to remove it? I couldn't believe it! All of a sudden I felt very embarrassed. Would he want to touch my naked breasts? Oh my god…. I hope he wouldn't be disappointed. He had never really felt them. I remembered the exquisite beauty of Rosalie. I could never compete with her. To think she was meant for him and he didn't want her. I was not that well built I was just average. I know I had nothing to be ashamed of. But I felt inadequate. He was now playing with the clasp. Oh dear he was going to open it. Should I ask him to stop? I wasn't ready for this. Will he feel upset if I refuse? Just then I heard the door open. Oh thank god saved by the bell! Better not rejoice too soon. I slowly turn around. It was Jessica and Mike. I'm sure I blushed like a tomato. The looks on their faces were priceless.

I was really surprised that we got caught like this. It should have been almost impossible. I had a mind reader with me for goodness sake and I had also put a psychic in-charge of overall security there was no way this mission could have been compromised. I was sure Alice would have warned him even if he failed to hear them in his passion. I knew how sensitive and attuned to Alice he is. I remembered the mud bath where they were both too preoccupied. No. Alice was not doing anything distracting. So … unless. I looked at Edward. The little cheek had a sly smile on his lips.

He knew they were coming! He had wanted to get caught! The show off! I was sure all this was for the benefit of Mike Newton. I could see his face. He looked very disheartened. Well that's fine by me. I really was getting annoyed with the revival of his golden retriever role after I had started talking to everyone again. I looked at Jessica. Aha. She looked jealous. That's good. I was actually getting annoyed with Jessica's and Lauren's continued cryptic comments to Edward even after he openly tried to show that he was with me. Suddenly Edward pulled me in front of him just as Jessica looked down. Was she….trying to get a look at his …..erection? Oh my god! She really was a …. I suddenly felt very protective of Edward. I had to get him out of here. It was my fault he was in this predicament in the first place and I knew that he was still aroused. I could now feel him against my back. He was holding me closely to him.

"Ahem.. we just finished you can have the closet. See you in class."

I dragged Edward and walked as fast as I could to our next class. He never asked me anything about the cleaning liquid. Guess he forgot about it. I hope he doesn't get upset with me for the little stunt I pulled.

**EPOV**

The rest of the day passed without incident. Bella wouldn't meet my eyes at first and I felt awkward looking at her too. So I also avoided looking up. We shared our lab project and spoke when it was necessary. Should I apologise for not warning her about Jessica's and Mike's approach? During the next class I pulled my chair next to hers and let my thigh touch hers again. I couldn't help it I wanted to feel her. She finally met my eyes. She was blushing. I saw a shy smile touch her lips. How I wanted to kiss her again. We were in the back row so I took a chance and gave her a quick peck on her lips at vampire speed. I checked to see whether the class had noticed it. No one seemed to have noticed anything. Bella looked stunned. I winked at her. She mock punched me on my shoulder. I knew she had felt the kiss. I wanted so much to kiss her again. I wasn't sure how I was going to control myself.

**BPOV**

My last class for the day was gym. I really hated it. Edward and Alice didn't have it with me so I left them in the hall way outside and went in to class. After a horrible class where I managed to knock a ball onto the coach's head I quickly made my way to the girl's locker room before the others got there. I didn't want anyone to crack anymore jokes about the incident. I had just opened my locker to change my clothes when I was pushed against it by the force of a .. a cold wind. No it was Edward. He was grinding into me and kissing me. I felt his hands on my hair, face, shoulders, ….. my hips then he was gone as suddenly as he appeared. I was sure he grazed the side of my breast on his way down. I still felt a tingling there. I sank to the floor. Oh god oh god what had just happened?

"Hey Bella, are you alright?" I could hear Angela's worried voice talking to me.

I nodded yes to her.

"Do you want a drink of water?"

She helped me up. I quickly sat on one of the benches and drank the water Angela offered. I was still in a daze. Did he come? Had he really come into the girl's locker room and kissed me? Touched me intimately… well … it was so unlike him to accidentally graze the side of my breasts. He had so far made sure not to touch me there. It had all lasted just a fraction of a second…..or may be more but I felt like my head was dizzy with how fast everything just happened. I hadn't seen him come or leave. It was only the cold woosh of air that even warned me that he was actually there. I remembered how he had sat close to me in class making sure his thigh touched mine. He had even taken the risk of kissing me in class while the lesson was going on. He had been really fast with that kiss too. So I knew for sure that Edward had just come in and kissed me. What had I done? It was so unlike Edward to act like this. Have I unleashed a sexual monster? I knew very little about teenage vampire behaviour. I knew all about the human teenagers and their hormones. I was after all experiencing it. But what about a vampire with such urges? His must be multiplied a hundred times more than mine if I take their enhanced abilities as a measuring stick. And he had suppressed all these sexual urges for nearly 90 years. If all that emotion and sexual desire gets released all at once…..oh dear lord!

For the first time in my life I was scared of Edward Cullen. I was scared of what he might want from me. I knew that I was the one who had unleashed all these buried desires. I also knew that he only wanted me. I was the object of all his passion. How was I ever going to satisfy him? I was so fragile and breakable next to his strength. If he lost control even for a moment that would be the end of me. I was still not sure how he was handling the bloodlust. If sexual desire was also added to the equation…. I was a fool to ever play games of this nature with him. I was no match for him. I was from a different species. Was I even compatible with him? I don't think I would ever be able to even have all of him inside me. He was so huge from what little I had felt of him. I knew he was larger than a normal human male. I'd studied human anatomy. I remembered that I had thought of a rolling pin as an example when I felt him. I hadn't actually touched him to really get a good idea about his shape or size but from what I've felt so far…. If he ever tries to make love to me…. I covered my face with my hands.

In my ignorance I had never thought about this side of things. Even when I was going out with him earlier intimacy was not something we had really considered except for the few kisses we'd shared. I'd never really thought beyond that. Of course I had fantazised about making love with him but I had never really thought of the practical side of things. Well I had never felt him in the first place to know that there was anything to worry about. Was it the real reason he kept pulling back and not the bloodlust? Did he know even then that we could never be intimate and have a normal sexual relationship? I felt embarrassed to think that this could be the reason why he didn't want to take our relationship any further those days…. Because I was sexually incapable of ever accommodating him.

But ….. the way he is behaving now? If he knew all this.. why would he try to deepen that aspect of our relationship? He was not hiding his need now. In fact he was flaunting it. Even after his release that day against the lockers his need for me had still been enough for him to maintain his erection. I knew vampires never got tired. Does that mean that if we by some miracle manage to fit together he could go on making love to me non stop? I knew my human body could not survive that. What am I going to do? I felt tears gather in my eyes. I had stupidly awoken his desires and needs and now I was going to have to deny them because I was incapable of satisfying him. He wouldn't want to have anything to do with me after this fiasco. I know he said he loves me….but will that love be enough to deny his physical needs? He would have to seek satisfaction else where from a vampire female. What about me changing? We haven't discussed that…. It was a solution… but still my vampire form would only be slightly different from my human form….I'd still not be able to accommodate him. He must have been well endowed as a human too. God what am I going to do…..

"Bella…" I felt Alice's cold hand on my shoulder.

"Bella everyone's gone….. what are you still doing here? Angela got a call that one of her brothers had got hurt and had to rush home but she saw me and told me that you were upset about something and for me to check on you. I also got a vision of you crying."

"Oh.. Alice."

"What's wrong Bella? You know you can talk to me about anything. Edward looked very upset when I left him. He told me to apologise for what he did just now. He said he didn't know what came over him and he just had to come and see you. He is very sorry for invading your privacy. He knew you'd just come to the locker room so you wouldn't be in any state of undress and you were alone in the room so he had decided to come to you. Did he upset you in anyway?"

"No no Alice nothing like that."

"He's not listening to my mind right now Bella. He said he's going to the car park and will be listening to a CD. You can talk to me freely he wouldn't over hear."

"It's just that…oh Alice what am I going to do?"

"Are you embarrassed about Jessica and Mike finding you in the closet? I warned Edward. He's sorry about that too. He just wanted to show off. That idiot! I had no time to get there to prevent you from getting discovered. I sent the warning to him well in advance."

"Oh that was ok. I was a little embarrassed at first but it was fine. After all they were also going to do the same as us in the closet. Even if they tell anyone everyone knows that Edward and I are going out. It's a normal thing that teenagers do."

"Then why are you crying? I know something is upsetting you."

"Alice…..I really don't know how to talk to you about this….. it's just that …I'm scared Alice."

"Are you scared that things are moving too fast? You can tell Edward and he will understand."

"No Alice. I'm ok with how things are going…it's just that I'm worried. We are so different Alice….he's a vampire and I'm human….for the first time in my life…I'm …I'm scared of him."

"Why? Has he been too aggressive with you? I'm sorry he really doesn't have any experience with this type of thing. Did he hurt you? I know he wouldn't ever intentionally do that. He said his bloodlust was completely under control and I have not seen any visions where he bites you ever since we came back."

"No it's not that either."

"Then what Bella tell me? I'm your friend even though I'm Edward's sister. I won't tell him anything private you wish to share with me. I promise."

I believed her. She was the only one I can talk to about this anyway. I couldn't talk with Renee.. and Angela really wouldn't know how to advice me. She might even be shocked that I even thought about all this. Alice was the only one who could help me if there was any hope at all. I honestly couldn't talk to Edward about this.

"He's…he's …..so big Alice.." Oh shit! Did I really say that? Alice's eyes grew huge and she leaned back. Her mouth even dropped open.

"Are you saying what I think you are saying?" I covered my face with my hands again. Oh no! I might as well go the whole way…..I nodded my head…

"Well I…oh god Bella…..I never thought ….. give me a minute I'm trying to think of a way to …..but Bella I've never really seen him…..I wouldn't know…..OH! I saw him that day when you kissed him in the hall way…..I can't believe I'm talking to you about my brother this way….. it can't be helped…I have to help you with this…let me think. I've only ever been with Jasper Bella. I would guess that Jasper and Edward would be around the same size from what I saw. But keep in mind that Edward had his clothes on that day in the hallway. I've seen some of Emmett's naughty videos but the people in them were much larger than Jasper….. and the human actresses still managed to you know…. so I don't think it has anything to do with the differences between a vampire and a human. I'm even smaller than you but I still manage to be with Jasper. If there is a problem because you are a human then of course once you change that will also be sorted. You are still going to become one of us right Bella?"

"Yes Alice. I haven't really thought much about it. But I guess I'll think more on it after graduation. My whole focus right now is to get a scholarship to a good university."

"I understand.. well … have I at least helped you a little with your problem Bella?"

"Yes sure Alice. I never thought of things that way. I guess it would all work out….. I don't think Edward would even consider being with me until I change so this is not something that we will need to think about immediately. But it's just today… I felt so scared that I will not be enough for him Alice…He's so different from what he was….he's …..he's .. you know … behaving like a normal human teenager…. Well except for the speed thing. Honestly Alice….. I almost thought I'd just dreamed up the whole thing in the gym just now. He was so fast."

At this Alice burst out laughing.

"I was also surprised to hear about it. I'm not looking into your relationship anymore so I didn't see it. I couldn't believe he'd done that and taken such a risk bursting in here just because he couldn't wait to kiss you till you came out."

I had to smile at that. Edward sure has changed a lot. I hoped it was for the best…. And that everything would work out for us….. a part of me still felt scared though…..

_**I look forward to reading your reviews! :)**_


	26. Chapter 26 Analysis

_**ECISLove2010, elaine6, Rbeccap, traceybuie and shannoninn369 thank you very much for your reviews. I'm worried that this story is becoming too long but I have so much to say on the dating game that Bella and Edward are going to play! So I've been working on a follow-up story to this one continuing with the same story line but more focused on their dates. It's going to be fun with these two and with a lot more lemons. So my next chapter would hopefully be the last in this story. I will immediately put out the sequel so no worries. But I need some feedback on what you would expect so that I get a rough idea on whether I'm on the correct path. So please do review this story if you haven't already so that I can get a feel on what you like most. If you can name the chapters you liked best in this story it would be really helpful. **_

**EPOV**

What had I done? Bella was crying her heart out. I had made her cry. My sweet Bella… I had let the loathsome monster in me take over and give into my desire to kiss her. Had I hurt her? She was so fragile. In my hurry to kiss her I was not sure whether I had had full control of my strength. I was more focused on making my escape and the pleasure of kissing Bella that I had thought of very little else. Angela's thought's only showed Bella sitting on the bench seemingly in a daze she didn't look physically hurt. But I was sure that Bella would never disclose to anyone about any bruises if they had been caused by me. She would definitely down play them.

I was feeling so ashamed of my conduct. I had invaded my Bella's privacy. She must have thought I was the worst type of pervert in existence. I'd barged in unannounced to a girl's locker room….no less. God! Although I had known no one else was in there with Bella, she had not known that. Did she think I made a habit of doing that? With my speed it would have been possible for me to do that without anyone knowing. No Bella wouldn't think that badly of me….not my Bella. I'm sure she knows that I only wanted her. That brings me to the present situation. I had just barged in there. Although I'd timed it exactly to make sure she didn't have time to start undressing she might think I wanted to see her in some state of undress. She was sobbing uncontrollably. I had violated her trust in me….. Oh god what must she think of me? I rested my head on my hands on the steering wheel.

I'd also given into my urge and slightly brushed over the side of her breast. I had done this without her permission. We were dating but we had not discussed our boundaries. Come to think of it I had not even taken my Bella on a single date yet! And I'd launched myself onto her like some depraved monster seeking pleasure from her without even making a proper emotional connection with her first. She was not even sure she loved me. Then why did she drag me in to the broom closet? …. She must have wanted to punish me for using Jasper. I'd gone too far with that too. I was revolted at my memory of how I had pushed myself into her to get more closer to her….. I had even made sure we got caught.

Had Jessica made fun of her for that? I had not been consciously listening to Jessica's thoughts so she may have done something during gym. I had only got to the gymnasium after my class finished. I had only listened into the very last part of the session. I already knew people were teasing Bella about something. I had only heard part of Tayler's comment of Bella hitting so hard on the coach? Was it a comment aimed at my Bella implying that she was hitting on everyone she could get her hands on? But she had not shown any interest in anyone but me. Had my Bella become the school loose girl just for her indiscretion with me? I knew all about how high school kids relentlessly bulling students they didn't like. To the best of my knowledge only Jessica and Lauren had tried to insult Bella in some manner but the boys had always been more interested in winning her affections. Was the discovery that she had supposedly been intimate with me bring about a round of jealously which made them behave so unpleasantly towards Bella?

She must have been already upset with all the teasing and then I took advantage of her while she was so vulnerable ….. it must have been unbearable for her. I hope Alice will be able to talk to her and at least get Bella to talk to me before she decides she doesn't want anything to do with me. I will have to find the courage to let her go if she doesn't want me anymore. I felt my heart break into a million pieces at the thought. I.. I will have to some how win my Bella back. I am not going to let a bunch of high school kids bully my Bella. If they think that just because Jasper and Emmett are not there they can have an upper hand against me they can think again. I think in a situation like this Alice would definitely help me. I knew I should try to read the minds of the kids storming through the car park but I had promised Bella her privacy and I was going to grant her that. If I open my mind now I was sure to find Alice since I am so attuned to her. I was too much of a wreck to have much control over my ability to isolate some thoughts from others like I usually do. So I have just blocked off everyone from my mind.

**BPOV**

I felt like a fool for my crying bout. But my emotions were all over the place. I had not let myself feel for such a long time that it seems like a whole dam had broken and the water was just rushing out uncontrollably. I was feeling relieved that I spoke with Alice since she had a very rational and practical answer to my fears. But I knew at some point in our relationship I will have to bring up this concern with Edward. But now was not the time. I knew that for sure. I would simply frighten Edward even more. These past few days had enabled me to see a side of Edward that he had kept hidden from me for a long time. Although it frightened me I was also glad that he opened up so much to me. I knew the slightest indication of unwillingness on my part would halt any progress we made. Something like the stupid concerns I had would add a new worry to Edward's endless list of worries. He had been down playing the blood lust but I knew it was still there. He had told me many times that his strength was a big concern as well. He might just decide to leave me again….. I won't survive another rejection. I knew that I had used up all the strength I had in me to survive these past couple of months. Edward had now broken through some of my barriers and I knew I was not strong enough to live through another rejection.

I had to talk to him. Provide him with a believable explanation without giving exact details so that he doesn't worry.

"Alice I need to talk to Edward."

"Yes, Bella that would be for the best. I know you wanted advice from me as your friend but this is something you and Edward should work out together. I promise you that none of the things you talked to me about will ever reach my brother's ears through me."

"Can you tell him to meet me just outside Charlie's near the path to the forest when I get home?"

"Ok. I'll tell him. We can give you a lift you know."

"It's ok. Charlie's coming to pick me."

I was not going to have him in my room again tonight to discuss this. Somehow the atmosphere there seemed too intimate. I remembered all the times I spent with him in my room and I had never felt this way. I guess it was because of the change in our relationship. Those days I had known for sure there was no possibility of us being intimate even though we cuddled together at night. Now I knew that there was a very real possibility of it and until I was comfortable with all this I was not going to take the risk.

The other problem was my desire for him. I knew that if we were in closed confines again we were sure to end up in each others arms if what happened in the closet was any indication. I couldn't believe my thoughts at the time. I had actually wanted to get better friction by climbing onto something to align certain parts of my body more intimately against him. I blushed at the thought. I was glad I had not had time for it. There was no telling what I would do to him if I caught him alone…. Was meeting him in the forest a bad idea? Although we would be out in the open we would still be alone. Charlie would have gone back to the station by then. So the forest…I remembered the lush greenery surrounding the pathway…the total isolation till you spotted Charlie's backyard.

It was romantic in a way. I had dreamed of making love to Edward on the forest floor…... with the birds singing around us, sunlight streaming through the trees… making his naked body gleam….he would look like a Greek Adonis and I would….Oh my god…the forest is definitely out. At this rate I might do something to him in the class room or even in front of Charlie at home….. I've really lost control of myself. Where do I meet Edward? I knew a phone call would never reassure him. I will have to meet him face to face and let me read the truth in my body language. From what Alice had told me he's back on his guilt trip about everything and I knew putting this off would only give him more time to think about it and blame himself even more. What do I do now? I didn't want to be alone with him and I did want to talk to him privately and it has to be done as soon as possible. Alice was just about to walk ahead of me.

"Alice wait I changed my mind."

"What do you mean? I really think you should talk to him Bella."

"No. No. I do want to talk to him it's just that I'm worried about meeting him near the woods. Will it be ok if I spoke to him in the car park?"

"Sure Bella. I'm sure he'll be ok with it. Do you want me to stay away?"

"If you don't mind." Now I was feeling bad. But what I wanted to discuss with Edward was private.

"Sure Bella. I'll just go to the library. He's still in the car."

"Thank you Alice for understanding."

I turned and gave her a hug. Now I had to find the courage to talk to him. Both of us had been on an emotional roller coaster ride today… I was feeling very embarrassed at the way I had behaved in the closet…..the way I'd bitten him.. I wanted so much to do it again….. what am I thinking? Oh god! Will he bring that up? I hoped not…. And I sincerely hoped that the two of us could manage to keep our hands off each other during the discussion. I was counting on the fact that we were in a public car park to deter us…..


	27. Chapter 27 The talk

_**I have uploaded the sequel to this story "Romance, Love and Desire". It is the continuation of this story line with many more lemons and a lot more fun :) Well not all fun I guess we forgot Victoria…..anyway I hope to still make it fun. I would like to thank Rebeccap, ECISLove2010, shannoninn369, Nena1981, elaine67,tracybuie and nicolleio for their lovely reviews! You are the ones that keep my spirits up and encourage me to write more! Hope you like the new story too.**_

**Bella's POV**

I walked slowly towards the car park. I could see the Volvo clearly. Edward was leaning against the steering wheel with his head in his hands. I knew this gesture he had been in this exact same position when he had first wet his pants and I had taken him to my place. I could tell for sure that he was very upset. This gave me courage to take the next few steps. I had to make things better between us. It was my stupid behaviour that put us in this mess in the first place. He suddenly looked up from his position in the driver's seat and got out and came around to me. He stood at a distance of about four feet. He made no attempt to even open the door for me or offer a lift home as he usually would have.

"Bella I'm so sorry… I don't know what to say… I.. I…."

I glanced around the parking lot several students were staring at us….

"Edward can we get inside the car. I want to talk to you."

"Yes. Sure. I'm sorry for not offering. You can ride home with us."

"Charlie's coming. I just want to talk to you."

"Oh. Sure."

He quickly held the passenger side door open and I barely managed to get in, in my hurry without hitting my head on the door frame. Edward carefully closed the door behind me and got in to the drivers side.

"Bella, before you say anything I want to make a formal apology for everything I did today. First taking advantage of you in the closet, then for getting us caught. I knew that Jessica and Mike were coming Alice warned me. I just wanted to show everyone that you were mine… I'm so sorry for what they thought… I know you had a hard time at gym because of it .. I .."

"What do you mean?"

"I heard people making fun of you saying you were hitting on coach Clapp….it's all my fault that they think badly of you… how can I ever…"

"Wait just a second… did you say hitting on coach?"

I burst out laughing. I knew this was not a laughing matter but I just couldn't help it. Who would ever hit on coach Clapp? Let alone joke about it?

"Bella….are you alright?"

Edward was now looking even more worried. He must be thinking I'm hysterical.

"Yes… yes….god Edward. That was so funny. I hit coach on the head with a ball today and everyone was making fun of that. The usual teasing, I didn't really mind."

"So they were just teasing you for that?"

He was pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Yes. Everything is ok. No one made any more comments about the closet, only Jessica and Mike gave me some weird looks that's all. Even they didn't talk to me directly about it. I think finally they got the message that you and I are together. I was a bit embarrassed at first for getting caught but it was really ok. We are supposed to be two teenagers going out together right? So it's a normal thing that .. that we…"

Now Edward's eyes were widening. I could tell I had taken him by surprise. I remembered what I had done to him in the closet. I looked down at my hands they trembled I could no longer look into his eyes. I was ashamed of my behaviour. I'd bitten him! I'd bitten the Victorian virgin on his nipple!

"Bella…" He sighed and moved closer to me, touching my cheek.

"I'm sorry if what we did in the closet made you uncomfortable. I got lost in the moment Bella. I hope I didn't handle you too roughly…..did I hurt you in the gym was that why you were crying?"

"I….I thought you were upset with my behaviour in the closet…"

"No Bella…. I never thought I could feel so much pleasure just being with you…. I completely lost my mind. I barely heard Alice's warning. But I didn't want to stop. I wanted to be there with you forever never letting you go….. it felt so.. .. I really don't have the words to explain it. I think I finally understand why poets and writers describe desire… as a sort of insanity. It is like a drug. I feel it is even more potently than the blood lust. Not once did I think of the thirst Bella, which is incredible considering how close we were. But I was still very scared that I would hurt you with my strength. Just one move made unconsciously might ….."

"Edward…..I don't think you can ever hurt me….."

"I still have to be careful Bella."

He took my face in his hands and kissed my forehead. I felt a shiver run down my back. I still didn't look into his eyes.

"Bella … if it wasn't what happened in the closet… was it the way I surprised you and kissed you in the locker room that upset you… please tell me love… I heard you crying… I felt so helpless to comfort you…. It must have been something I did…"

I shook my head no but he continued.

"Bella… I knew that you were in the locker room alone and I knew you didn't have time to start undressing .. I timed it exactly so that I could kiss you before the others entered the room. I just couldn't wait another second without having you in my arms… I lost control Bella. I love you so much. Please believe me when I say I never intended to invade your privacy or catch you in a state of undress. I would never do that to you. I have never done that ever. Please you have to believe me love… I'm not a pervert. I have never used my abilities to get that type of voyeuristic pleasure. Please Bella look at me… tell me you believe me.. tell me you forgive me…. I can't live without you Bella… You mean everything to me…."

His words came fast and urgent. I was having a hard time understanding what he was saying. I know he spoke this way when he was upset or excited and forgot that I couldn't keep up with the speed. But I did catch everything he said… it just took me longer to process it….. Edward thought that I was upset with his kiss.. I had to make him understand ..

"No no Edward that was fine. You just took me a bit by surprise.. that's all. I know you've never done anything like that to anyone."

He seemed to exhale in relief at my words.

"Then what Bella? What made you cry? I heard you crying and saw you through Angela's eyes. You were very upset love. It has got to be something that happened in that locker room. You were fine before even when I stole a kiss in the class room. Believe me I've never done such a crazy thing ever."

I smiled at that. I have to distract him and make him forget about my crying jag. What was my excuse? There was no way I was going to tell him the real reason.

"Oh is it? What about the mud bath you and Alice took in front of the whole school?"

I tried to make a joke of it.

"That was just a mud fight but today was absolute madness …getting caught in a broom closet making out with you, kissing you in class .. stealing a kiss in the locker room….. I felt so happy Bella so carefree and light headed…."

"We had a quite an interesting day didn't we?" I couldn't help blushing as I remembered everything.

"You weren't upset by any of it?"

"No. Come to think of it.. I can't think of a time that I had so much excitement in one day in such a good way. It was fun being the crazy reckless teenager for once."

"If you also had a fun day why were you crying Bella? Please.. there has to be a reason."

I felt myself blushing crimson as I remembered the real reason behind my tears.

"I guess all the excitement just got to me… I don't know what happened.. just you know I was feeling emotional and all…"

I knew I was blabbering. I hoped that Edward would believe me. I didn't dare look him in the eye. I knew I wasn't a good liar and Edward was very good at reading my eyes.

I saw him shake his head.

"Bella… Bella…. What am I going to do with you….. I know you are lying sweet heart… your heart rate is up and you are blushing … I know all the signs…. Tell me love.. what did I really do to upset you… mmm?

He tried to lift up my face so that he can look into my eyes. I quickly closed them. There was no way I was going to tell him what upset me. I shuddered even thinking of it….

He drew my face closer to him.. "Bella…" he whispered softly. I could feel his intoxicating breath on my face…..he softly touched my jaw with his lips…

Oh my…. I felt my whole body go weak….and I took a deep breath breathing in the essence of him.

"Bella…..I love you…..why don't you tell me what is bothering you. Mmm?"

I managed to blurt out

"No. It's nothing."

I could feel my voice coming in a throaty mumble. He was planting soft kissing all over my face now… getting closer to my lips… I turned my head so that his lips met mine.

"Oh Bella….."

He started deepening the kiss, kissing me more and more passionately. I held onto his hair and dragged his face down.

"Bella… tell me what's wrong love? Mmm?"

He pulled me even closer if that was even possible and his tongue came out and I felt cold moisture against my lips. He was tasting me. I heard a soft moan coming from me some where deep inside.

"Bella … do you think we are moving too fast?" His voice sounded husky.

One of his hands moved down from my face to my neck and I felt tingles running down my neck where he traced patterns.

"No…I … I…like fast….."

I was barely able to answer. But I was so scared he would just stop it all if he felt I was hesitating.

"Mmm so you like it… being close to me this way…?"

I nodded my head vigorously. His hand moved down from my neck to trace along my neck line now….. I felt my nipples harden in anticipation. Was he ever going to touch me there?

"You want to go further?"

Was he crazy… of course I did… I pulled on his hair and angled his face so that I can kiss him more deeply.

"Tell me… you want more?"

I barely heard his soft murmur.

"Yes. More"

I breathed out and shivered as his finger went under the hem of my neckline. I was sorry I had worn a blouse with a very high neck line today.

"Are you scared love..?"

I answered without thinking.

"Yes."

I felt a slight hesitation in him and I quickly got hold of his shirt collar pulling his chest against mine as far as possible. The arm rest in the middle of the car didn't make it possible to be as close as I wanted to be but I struggled to get closer..

I felt his lips smile against me. I knew he understood that I wanted to get closer.

I felt his tongue trace along my collar bone. Oh god….oh god…I wanted him to go lower…..instead I felt the coldness along my neck and he whispered against my ear.

"Why… why are you scared?"

"It's too big"

I said the words that came into my mind. Oh god I still feel the tingling along my neck line. His finger was moving to the button in front of the blouse….

"What is too big love?"

He licked my ear the same time he started playing with the button. I felt myself shudder. I wanted him so much….. His breath was intoxicating… his face just inches from mine….…I looked into his eyes…..they were smoldering orbs of desire… dark and glowing… He moved his face even closer…I closed my eyes..

"What is big love?"

… the button gave away and he planted a kiss on my lips…

"You.. you.. would never fit inside me."

I felt my voice breaking. I could barely speak. I moved my lips against him.. my breathing was erratic…..it took me a minute to grasp that he was not moving. I opened my eyes. Edward was frozen in place. His eyes were closed. He was not moving….I touched his face….

"Edward…"

He didn't respond. Was something wrong? What had happened to him? He was still holding me to him. His finger on my button which was now open. I hesitantly fastened it. I slowly took stock of our surroundings we were still in the car park. It was almost deserted now.

"Edward.. can you hear me?"

I tried to shake him but he didn't respond. I went through everything that had happened. He had been talking to me whispering in my ear and then kissing me passionately while playing with the button. What had he said? He had asked whether I was scared and I remembered telling him that I was but showed him I still wanted him. Then he asked why and I said…..I said…what did I say? I said…. Then it hit me … I had said it was too big…..oh dear god.. what else had I said… then I remembered. I remembered exactly what I had said. I had blurted out the truth…. I was mortified….what had he thought… if I go by his response …..he was petrified… I was horrified now. He must have heard me….. he must have understood. Was he in shock? Can vampires go into shock? I was scared now. I was embarrassed but it was nothing compared to the fear that I felt now. Something was wrong with Edward. Something had happened to him…. I needed Alice…. I needed to take him to Carlisle. I couldn't move he was holding me so tightly.

"Alice…"

I whispered she might be too far away to hear me because she said she would give us privacy she would have moved out of hearing range. I called out more loudly and then decided I needed her help desperately. I knew she would get a vision of it.

"Alice I need you…..Alice please come…." I was nearly in tears now.

"Bella"

I heard her voice near my window and I frantically gestured to her pointing to Edward.

Edward suddenly moved and let go of me and I nearly fell on to the dashboard.

"Sorry Bella…. You just took me by surprise.. everything is ok…..trust me.. I'm sorry…"

I couldn't form a reply. But I nodded my understanding.

I heard Alice get into the back of the car.

"I called Charlie Bella. I saw that you would like to ride home with us."

"Oh! Thank you Alice" I'd forgotten all about Charlie…

Edward pulled out of the parking lot without saying anything else. He drove slower than usual. I saw him turn to look at me but I kept my eyes averted.

"Bella are you alright? I'm sorry if I frightened you. It's just that I was so surprised…and I …"

"I'm ok Edward. I was just worried about you."

I was blushing from head to toe now. I had told him …..gosh….. I felt so embarrassed. I let my hair fall forward to hide my expression from him.

I heard him sigh…. It was all his fault for dazzling me into admitting the truth. Before I knew it we were in front of our house. I was just about to get out, when Edward put his hand on mine.

"Wait Bella…. I still want to …."

I heard laughter from the back seat. We both turned in surprise to look at Alice. I'd forgotten she was even in the car.

"Sure Edward measuring would be a good idea… but I think..

"Alice…."

I heard Edward fiercely roar at her. I sat back in my seat in surprise.

"But honestly Edward a measuring tape is much better than a ruler believe me when I measure….."

"Get out before I throw you out…"

Edward's voice was very loud and frustrated. I had never seen him this upset with Alice. I couldn't believe what all this was about. His face was a mix of mortification and fear.

"Bye Bella see you tomorrow."

Alice gracefully exited the car and immediately blurred into the forest.

"And don't you dare tell anyone else about this do you hear me?"

His voice was threatening.

I heard a soft tinkling of laughter from far away.

Edward's head was back in his hands on the steering wheel.

Now what? I was staring at Edward in surprise. I couldn't believe what upset him so much. He actually seemed to be handling my stupid declaration well on our way back from school. I was still feeling embarrassed about it but it was nothing compared to the look on Edward's face when he'd looked at Alice and the way he was now hiding his face in his hands.

I touched his shoulder.

"Edward what's wrong?"

No response. Just solid stone. So we were back to the stone act were we? Guess I will have to figure this one out myself. What were they talking about? Measuring something? But measuring what? Holly shit!... measuring …measuring …..what I thought was too big for me… now it was my turn to be embarrassed. He was thinking of doing that and Alice had seen it! God…he must be mortified with his sister knowing this. I felt really bad for him. I was actually in this with him and it was my own stupid imagination that got us into this fix anyway. It was just like Alice to point out that a measuring tape was better than a ruler. She was right anyway..and I could may be help him measure. What was I thinking….. get a grip on yourself Bella… you have to make Edward feel better.

"Edward it's ok….please don't be upset….."

"You don't know what I was thinking…." His voice came muffled through his hands.

"Edward I know what you were thinking of doing."

"What?"

He lifted his head to look at me and saw the truth in my face. I was blushing beet red again there was no mistaking the reason. He looked horrified.

I simply smiled at him. He saw the humour in my face and I saw my favourite smile spread across his face.

"Oh Bella…..I'm foolish to even have thought such a stupid thing. And now Alice saw it…"

"Come on Edward…..It was not foolish it's a practical thing to do. I'm glad you took what I said seriously and that you were trying to find a solution for it."

We looked at each other and we simultaneously burst out laughing.

"Bella… Bella…what are we doing…. I think we are both loosing our minds….and I'm supposed to be a medical doctor for heaven's sake this should not be such a problem for me to figure out. It's just that I never really gave it much thought….."

"I know…"

His face grew serious again.

"I'm sure there would never have been a problem if I was human Bella…..but I don't know whether I've changed when I became a vampire….my human memories are very vague.. and I never really….." He didn't finish the sentence and I could tell that if he was able to blush he would be red all over.

"I could talk to Carlisle about it but I feel it's too early to be so concerned Bella…. I…I want to make love to you but not right now…..I want us to be sure about what we want and you to be sure you love me Bella."

I tried to speak. But he held out a hand.

"Bella take all the time you need….I'll still be here for you love. I promise that I will never leave you. You know how much I love you. I want to give you everything you would ever want if you decide to spend your life with me. I want to have some sort of a commitment before we go that far. So let's not worry about it now ok?"

"Yes Edward."

I felt relieved. I was not ready for a commitment right now. The only thing I knew is that I wanted to be with Edward for now and I wanted to see how things would go.

He took my hands in his.

"I love you Bella…..now and forever…that will never change. I hope and pray that you will learn to love me again some day, until then…..I'll keep trying…."

He leaned in and kissed me passionately on my lips. I returned his kiss without a thought. I don't know how long we held each other and kissed but eventually Edward pulled away.

"Bella do you want to get caught kissing me again?

"What?"

I was barely coherent. My head was swimming. I think I forgot to breathe that well again.

"The werewolf on guard duty today is almost here… I could stay if you want."

"No it's ok Edward."

"Then I'll see you tomorrow at school love. So we'll take things as they come ok? And please talk to me about anything that you are worried about. I don't want to go through another misunderstanding like today."

"I know…bye Edward, thank you for the lift."

He leaned across the seat and planted another kiss on my lips.

"It was my pleasure Bella."

If the look on his smoldering eyes was anything to go by he meant more than the lift he'd given me. I carefully got out of the car. I was still feeling a bit dizzy. He waved and took off at break neck speed. I stood there watching after him for a long moment.

I didn't know what the future would hold for us. But I was sure that we can work things out together. I was beginning to believe that Edward would never leave me again. I was looking forward to our future dates.

_**So this will be the last chapter for this story. I hope you enjoyed it. But it definitely is not the end of the story line! I still have so much to say when it comes to Edward's and Bella's dates and there is also the matter of the lemons. This is simply not enough. So I'm continuing it in my new story "Romance, Love and Desire". I have already uploaded it. It will be based on Bella's and Edward's dates with more lemons and more fun! I really need your feedback on what you want from the new story. So please please review and let me know. If you can tell me the chapters you enjoyed best in this story it will also be very helpful since I can then get an idea of the type of things you enjoy. **_

_**I have uploaded the sequel to this story "Love, Romance and Desire". It is the continuation of this story line with many more lemons and a lot more fun :) Well not all fun I guess we forgot Victoria…..anyway I hope to still make it fun. **_


	28. Chapter 28 The new story

Hi,

This is to let you know that my third story which is the sequel to Romance & Love,

"Exploring Edward preparing for the wedding" is now up. I've already loaded the first two chapters.

A touch of humour and romance with some lemony goodness coming your way:)

I hope to hear from you through your reviews.

"Romance & Love " was the sequel to this story, "Love & Denial" so the story line will be easier to follow if you read that story before you start on the new one. But they can all be read as separate stories as well.

I want to thank all of you who have reviewed and sent me messages encouraging me with my writing. I have been a bit busy the past few months so I was not able to write for some time. I'm back now and hope to update regularly like before. Hope you enjoy the new story. Please do keep in touch.


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